02.15am in the morning and cannot sleep, staying in some sleepy hotel near sheffield away on business for a couple of days. Its at quiet moments like this when you are alone. that you realise many things and consider all the mistakes you have made in your life. What a fool i have been for so many years gambling, if only i could turn the clock back but i cannot, what is done is done ! now i have to live with this ! one thing for certain, i really have started to develop my mindset and understand the pain and destruction gambling has brought me and the people close to me ! it is very sobering to process those thoughts. I never want gambling back in my life, i just hope i can find the strength and will power to remain strong and gamble free because each day that passes will be a better day for me and my family. Good night everyone, i try to sleep again now, a gamble free mans pillow is his peace of mind, Dark Place
Great post dark place your right we can't change the past but we can make the future better well done on your new found strength keep it up x
Your friend
The bear
Hey DP
Good to read your fighting talk and that you're getting your head around all that's done. Thinking about my family is one of my strongest motivators these days. Whereas I would easily stake £2-300 on a hand of Blackjack I now see the value of every note in my pocket. £100 is not a punt any more. £100 is a great meal with my wife and kids. Quality rewarding time. £30 is a pair of shoes for my little lad, not 5 mins in FOTB at the bookies.
My delusional thinking that I could turn that £100 into £1000's has long gone.
Today is 10 months since you and Bear first helped me get myself on a new path in life and I'm pleased to say I'm still on it. The stresses are gone. The lies and deceit are gone. The worry over pending bills are gone. You will be clocking up the months again before long my friend.
Careful with the drinking matey. I know it's caught you out a few times and given you the urges to gamble.
Supporting you all the way.
G
Yes, the past is gone. The future isn't here yet. My advice is try to stay in the present and just allow the emotions to be as they are... not run from them. Hard. Believe me, I know. Thinking of you.
so everything is going well at the moment, 24 days clear and no desire at all to gamble. Been invited on business to a day at the race LOL great those invitations come when your trying to stop gambling 🙂 anyhow i am feeling good and strong, long may it continue. Have a great day all Dark Place
I dont know who posted this before on gamcare but its worth posting it again, just see it on an old email from last year !
Imagine there is a bank account that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day.
Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every penny, of course?
Each of us has such a bank. It's name is TIME.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to a good purpose.
It carries over no balance. It allows no over draft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no drawing against "tomorrow."
You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success!
The clock is running!! Make the most of today.
To realise the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realise the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realise the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realise the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realise the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who just missed a train.
To realise the value of ONE SECOND, ask someone who just avoided an accident.
To realise the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal at the Olympics.
Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with. And remember time waits for no one.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why its called the present
Thanks for you post on my diary again, DP. Your support means a lot.... esp on a rambling long post like that one. I hope you have a great weekend.
day 28 and well in to my recovery, 1 rather large wobble saturday night but i managed to naviate past it. Have a good week everyone and stay gamble free, Dark Place
You wobbled but you didn't fall down!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qq0OQBdIhsc
Hmmmm... I love Indian food. Can't say as I've got much experience cooking it myself, though. I have tried making butter chicken once and it turned out alright.
Hai DP soon to be lighter place.
A wobble is a wobble, but hai you stood tall and now embarking on day 30. Full credit to the support you give to this forum.
You know the score bud, abstain and maintain.
Strength and honor fellow gladiator
Hey DP,
Just reading your diary....the first month is up in a couple of days, hope it is the first positive achievement of many! Every day is just another step away from the dark place back towards the light.
Keep on keeping on friend, and soon enough the month will become two, four etc.
All the best
Ryan
Clapping for you. A month is fantastic. As said, it will lead to 2,3,4.... and the light!
Just checking in. Hope you're doing alright!
So its back to square one, started gambling AGAIN last week, really cannot believe I could be so weak ! it all started again after a lot of drinking and playing for money at Pool ! i lost £160 and was so annoyed with myself i just had to win it back ! good news is that i did and probably another £1500 since on horses and football ! time to re evaluate myself and strategy, obviously drinking seems to be my weakness and opening the gate back to hell !!
Will post again in couple of days once i have my head round this 🙁 DARKEN PLACE
Never give up mate :-/
The bear
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