Aegretudo Egretudo !

Thanks SG

So day 29 arrives and still feeling strong, its kind of strange that i seem to feel stronger than before, even tho i had gone six months clear ! I just hope that when those demons appear i have all the strength to fight them off.

Darts league match 2night, really enjoying it at the moment and the beers 🙂

Have a great rest of the week all and stay strong ! I am with you all the way.

Dark Place

Yes, indeed, we got Volcano back! And I figured it was going to be today too. Good on ya! Maybe you've had a shift and this time with firmer resolve will kick those demons straight back to hell. Hope you win at darts. Miss my dart board. Used to have one in the basement but now I've rented that room out so I took it down... not that I was ever very good at it.

Day 30 and still clear, busy day today so only a short post... have a great day everyone, Dark Place

Even the short posts are important. They give inspiration to others to carry on the fight.

Have a good weekend DP. I'll be back on here probably next Wednesday when I'm back in London. Got a few days off to spend with the family so hoping for a nice relaxing weekend.

G

Day 31

Looking forward to the weekend, just me and my little isaac on Saturday. My wife and her friend will go the christmas market on southbank london. So i will spoil my son rotten 🙂

Have a great weekend friends, I am feeling like i am in a great place at the moment ! it is not dark anymore, thanks for everyones support. Dark Place

So happy for you, LP... aka Patrick?? Think I saw that some time ago on V's diary but not 100% sure so correct me if I'm wrong. Yes, for me it does feel like there's been a true shift in my thinking/effort. And it seems so for you too. Don't want to jinx it so won't say too much about that as I know I still have a very, very long road ahead to get where I really want to be (and that doesn't even make sense 'cause I'm not sure I know where I want to be... just decided to throw my trust in the universe and see what happens). You stay in the present and enjoy every minute of your precious alone time with Isaac (love that name, by the way)!

day 32 passes with no desires to gamble, becoming strong.... apart from this flu i have not got from my son bless him :-/ have a nice evening all, Dark Place

oh no.... hope you feel better. Think I'm getting something again too.

Day 34 arrives without any slip ups ! still have the dreaded flu but it is getting easier i THINK.

Have a great week all and stay free of thos demons ! Dark Place /

Hi D.P

Just a quick message to say......Glad to see you are on day 34 and things are still good... 🙂 Hollie xx

Oh that flu can be so nasty. If your throat is affected try gargling with salt water a few times a day. Feel better!

Day 35 onwards and upwards, still struggling with flu but getting slowly better. Have a reat day all, Dark Place

Think of your family and what it would feel like to hurt and lose them and how the people you loved, and who loved you, will be affected for years to come.

Think of your kids and what it would feel like to see them go on another holiday without you and not even be able to give them any spending money to take with them.

Think of your ex-wife who might phone you in tears one day because she’s struggling to keep a roof over your children’s head because you’re not paying maintenance at the moment.

Think of what it might feel like to lose everything you worked so hard for and be left with nothing but crippling debt.

Think of how you might feel having to continuously ask friends for money again just to get you through the week and feed yourself.

Think about the innocent victims of your selfish addiction and its devastating repercussions that, 3 years on, you still don’t fully comprehend or appreciate.

Think about the constant struggle you may face just to keep your head above water and that, sometimes, you actually don’t want to come back to the surface for air.

Think of how you might be lucky enough to find love again only to hurt that person so much with your lies covering up your addiction that she has to take time off work as you’d made her ill - and then never getting her back and seeing her with someone else.

Think of how frustrated you might feel knowing that you’ve got so much to give, how you would work harder than ever before, start again at the ‘bottom’ with a true inner belief and burning ambition to rise again - yet no-one seems willing to give you another chance.

Think about the fact that you’re lining the wallets of the corporate fat cat Directors of the bookmaking industry who seem to think it’s socially acceptable to bombard the youth of today with a constant stream of advertising, and a gambling culture that our government condones and does f*** all about.

Think about how you might try your heart out to get any form of work again and what it would feel like to be rejected stocking food orders in f*****g Sainsbury’s’!

Just a reminder d.P. Really enjoyed your post and I will post that on my diary to remind me. Well done on your continued abstinence. Nearly 3 weeks for me. Payday is approaching. Gotta be strong.

Keep up the good work

A.n.d

Hope you're on the mend mate. I hate being ill. Thankfully it's a very rare thing for me.

It's been an easy week for me this week with plenty going on. Had a good weekend with the family. Shopping on Saturday then went to see Gravity at the cinema with my wife Sat night. I recommend it if you get a chance to go. Very good film. Lazy Sunday then back in the gym Monday before back to work. No urges I'm glad to report. Back to the old mindset now so hopefully I'll stay gamble free.

G