almost 40 years addicted

Hi, 

Just read about you not having a problem stopping for a short time. Try & look at at this way, imagine there's on average 4 meetings every day all hosting at least 6 races. That's 24 times you've resisted not to mention the numerous football matches where the bookies are offering you such generous odds. I remember reading one of your last or at least later posts before your relapse. 18 months you achieved I believe, in my book that ain't a short time it's an age for a CG, every single day is hard earned.

Forget about setting goals, & we all have those OH WHAT'S THE POINT days. Try not to count the days,  I remember doing that & it felt like watching paint dry sometimes. There aren't many certainties in this life but for sure if you're patient for sure 7 days will become a month, and a month will become a year before you know it.

For too far long gambling dens have sold us a massive lie about easy riches, the odds are in our favour. And oh their generosity paying 5 places in the Grand National instead of 4, paying out 4 places in the Triumph hurdle instead of 3. The amazing thing about CGs is time & time again we buy it. You're an intelligent man whom I respect but like everyone else addicted your blinded by these falsehoods. I ain't no tipster but I can give you some wonderful advice as to where to invest your hard earned cash. In your wife & those 2 wonderful kids of yours.  Remember every time we place a bet we short change someone we love, and make some fat cat even richer.

Best

Al

Hi Ken,

Just looking in on you to make sure you're OK. No pressure to reply if you don't feel like talking. I think sometimes we need time to lick our wounds. One thing I've never doubted is that you're an educated , bright & articulate man. Bright enough to see what this addiction does to folk & how it effects others. 

I know you're disappointed in yourself, but at the end of the day it's a blip. Not the end of the world & possibly an opportunity to reflect, learn & come back even stronger than ever. I'm 3 years & 3 months clean, when the going got tough you played a major part in making that happen. Never under value your self worth.

Best Wishes Fella

AL

Found 'my' thread from Jan 2020....

Where does the time go ?

Just disappears when you are a gambler.

Don't know where to start really.

The damage ? Financially sure (I have about £25k credit card debt accumulated over decades of gambling).

The things I regret most are the sheer waste or time, not being present in the moment with family, feel like I've missed my kids growing up, not being able to communicate with them.

Did manage 2 years gamble free when I was last on year roughly 5 years ago.

Had great support from some wonderful people & can't even remember why I slipped - but once I did the familiar sense of shame and self loathing take over.

Used some great tools (Gamstop) but never self excluded at shops.

I know this place works and I know that you can only tackle your problems one day at a time, but one thing common with gamblers is massive deceit and delusional thinking.

Amyway, I'm KS2 and I'm a compulsive gambler. My last bet was sunday 15th September.

3 days gamble free.

home alone tonight and amazed how dark it is at 8pm

Even a couple of days without - and maybe just as importantly for me, without obsessively thinking about gambling, just clear the brain fog a little.

4 days gamble free.

For me the first few days or weeks were never much of a problem as I'm only focused on not having a bet.

Giving up is easy - I've done it dozens (if not a hundred times).

It's stopping for good that's the hard bit, and I know I have to work at it every day.

Hi

Ah you probably won't remember me, but I remember you from those golden years (2020-2021) 😊 🫡

Saw your username come up and it triggered some wonderful memories, of yourself and Al (Slowlearner) reminiscing over days gone by, and how things used to be.

I was battered by gambling at the time, and just starting my journey, it was like a powerful elixir for me when you two conversed, I think it was because you were having 'normal' conversations and wonderful/entertaining/insightful/humorous interactions with each other - for me it was a glimpse of what life could be like, once I'd cleared my headspace out of all the self-centredness and self-loathing.

Sorry to hear about your relapse Ken, but at the same time, thank you for helping me along in my recovery, at a time when I really needed support from good people.

I hope Al is OK (whereever he is) - I remember back then he came into some money and managed to pay off a lot (if not all) of his gambling debt, but chose to stick around on the forums and keep working on himself, and offering support to others that needed it. I moved on from the forums shortly after...

You know, I haven't even thought about Gamcare for a couple of years now... let alone post anything, not sure what drew me to have a look tonight, the last thing I expected was to come across a name I conversed with back then... 

I'll subscribe to your thread mate, will look out for future posts from yourself and endeavour to reply when I see them pop up, it's the least I could do - you're a good egg - and I am thankful to you for the time you gave to me back then.

Ps. If I remember rightly - your gambling debt was £36k when I started reading your thread, and now it stands at £25k I think you said? So that's progress mate... dont be too hard on yourself. It's a marathon, rather than a sprint! 

Thank you for mentioning about time lost to gambling that you could have spent with kids... I have 2 young ones... something I will bear in mind as I continue on in my quest to live the good life 🫡

Take care Ken

I remember you well Signalman.

Thanks for the kind words.

Hope you are well - the time spent with you kids when they are young is the best.

So glad to see you are still on the wagon.

I had a Whatsapp from slowlearner.

He is well and I hope he wouldn't mind sharing that he is now past 6 years without a bet.

It's been a little strange returning and I think only recognizing Adam123 from the old faces.

Can't describe what a lift it gives hearing you and slowleaner are doing so well.

Stay strong.

7 days gamble free

7 days

Keep up the good work pal 😊

Thanks for keeping me up-to-speed with slowlearner's progress, it warms my heart to hear that he is doing so well.

I think (finally) I may have got the hang of this now, just in time to be fair - as we welcomed our daughter into the world just over a year ago now, she was a little miracle to be fair, I am so grateful to have her - however it sends shivers down my spine to imagine what sort of life I'd be offering her, if I was still in action now... scary... 🤯

Hope the rain hasn't battered you where you are - we had localised floods our end, thank god I took leave from work this week, I saw some cars on the news which were submerged in water - felt lucky that those cars were not me making my way to or from work! But also felt sorry for the people that got caught out in the torrential weather, I hope they all got home safe.

1st week is always a tough nut to crack, but fair play on getting there. Will look out for further posts from yourself regarding your progress. Onwards and upwards! 💯☝️

8 days

I posted this about 5 years ago...I at that time hadn't gambled for about 9 months.

"4 people stuck out who all stopped within a few weeks of each other.

Slowlearner, ALN, Signalman, and Adam123

Some were older than me, some a fair bit younger.....

Slowlearner, ALN, Signalman, Adam123 - I couldn't have come this far without you."

Returning after 4 years or so, wracked with guilt and regret at slipping yet again, I cast around to see familiar names and if they were still posting.

It was a little disheartening when all the names of recent posters were mainly unfamiliar, however I know this place did me a lot of good

However, imagine what an immense boost it was when Slowlearner and Signalman both reached out to me within a couple of days of starting again, and then to find Adam123 is another who still gamble free.

Two people who I wouldn't recognize in the street, both putting an arm under each shoulder as I start again.

3 out of 5 people, 60%, gamble free.

That's an extraordinary success (and yes, its only a success one day at a time) for an addiction that is notoriously hard to treat.

There was something magical about this place 2018 - 2019 for me.

Connecting with people who shared some of the same experiences, being total honest about ourselves, and providing well thought out constructive support.

I know I can never recreate that, and at the moment I find it more useful to read my own diary from that time, alongside posts from those mentioned above.

What I'm saying (for any newer posters who reads this) is that I hope you can all find your own little group of people that support each other and keep in touch - always bearing in mind that your own recovery should always come first.

10 days

Lets not kid ourselves. The first days, weeks even,  I have at times found relatively easy.

After all I have "stopped" countless of times.

Still, got to start somewhere.

Awesome post mate. It’s hard to get across how important keeping touch on here is during recovery. I too have met a great bunch of people who I would love to take for a drink to say thank you for helping me so far. I worry when then don’t post for a few days, and feel proud when they do. The people on here offer so much to everyone else and it’s been so beneficial in my progress.

Good to see you are back in here and looking to make your life better. You know the struggles, you know how hard it is, but you also know how successful this place can be. Time to join your old mates, make some new ones, and beat this once and for all. 

Wishing you all the success in the world. Stay strong 💪 

What happenned to the forum ?

Used to be hive of activity 5 years ago.

Anyway 11 years.

Task for weekend is to renew my Gamstop 5 year block.

I assume it may have expired, but one thing I haven'd done in the last 5 years or so is have an online bet.

Not even tested it. So I returned to the shops....

The one advantage of that was you can't have a bet on holiday...it would never stop me looking though...

Remarkable really - there was once a time when I would have had dozens of online bets a day, every day of the year - I had about as many accounts as a man could have.

I know everyones gambling is different, but Gamstop was a very useful and powerful tool for me.

My names KS2 and I’m a compulsive gambler.

My last bet was 15th September 2024