Hi Ken
well done mate, you are doing absolutely brilliantly. The days are stacking up now you will soon reach the 100. As you say, you cannot change the past, but the future stretches ahead of you competely untouched by this awful addiction. The debt is big, but not as big as could be, and if you had spent the last 80+ gambling it would definitely be bigger. But those days have been gamble free and that is a great victory! the biggest kind of win. keep going, stay strong.
Stu
alwalm wrote:
Some CGs never learn, some do, some faster than others. All i can say is that this old gambler might be a slow learner but this time ive learned once and for all that i couldnt possibly recoup what ive lost. I only wish like you Signalman id seen the light at 35.
Stay Strong Both
AL
Ain't that the truth.
I first went to gamblers anonymous in early 1988, and I failed to *** the opportunity
The group was fairly small, all male, and addicts were basically either the bookies & casino guys who were generally older and a smattering of younger fruit machine addicts.
In the first group there was a guy George who was about 60 who sort of chaired the meetings and another guy called Falkirk Jim who was in his late 40's. They both had a wealth of similar experiences to yourself and were endlessly patient with the new joiners. I've often wondered how they are doing.
It's a pity there are no GA meetings in your area - I suspect you would have a lot to gain, and no doubt a lot to give back as well.
But as you say, we are slow learners & maybe youth is wasted on the young.
I had a an uncle, now deceased, who was a recovering alcoholic, and he used to say that he was an alcoholic from his very first sip, and I'm sure if someone would have measured my brainwaves and heart rate when first playing a penny drop in a seaside arcade, they would have flagged me as being high risk as a problem gambler. Just the way we are, but if you recognise it at least you can deploy strategies to stop & stay stopped.
I've probably spent half a lifetime wishing I could go back to that first meeting in 1988 and stick with it, but slowly realised that its part of the fantasy thinking that every gambler I'm sure indulges in.
I'm 52 - and I reckon I have at least 25-30 years of good health ahead of me and that all that matters really. Making the best of every day, treating family the best I can.
Take care of yourself, and enjoy your grand kids. Don't think there is a better time than when kids are that age and devoid of the cynicsm they get as teenagers. They don't need much, just someone to read to them, take them to the park, play with them and occasionally act daft.
Keep on the path a day at a time.
Ken
Bored, bored, bored yesterday in work. One of many triggers for me to gamble in the past.
Just don't seem to be able to concentrate very well.
Might see if I can get some counselling sessions.
Anyone had any experience ?
88 days.
Just for today I will not gamble
Thanks ALN
Hi Ken,
No matter how bored keep walking on the pavement dont wander onto the road now youve done fantastic and im counting the days you get to the magic 100. For me counselling had a real positive effect. Might sound mad but i had this vision shed say there there Al pass me a box of tissues and tell me it wasnt my fault.
Nothing could be further from the truth. First session was mainly tick boxes to establish kind of gambling, how often, if id ever borrowed money to gamble, and kind of hardship my family suffered. But after that it was more about replacing the void and getting rid of the self hate. I hated myself an awful lot and then when i was struggling to get rid of those feelings i was asked if i wanted to replace gambling with self pity and wollowing. Sometimes the truth can be a bitter pill to swallow and she told me a few truths i didnt want to hear.
Despite no there there and tissues i was always honest with her and worked with her rather than against her. Hence my recent post about lying down and dying or getting off my b**t. I actually look forward to seeing her on Tuesdays. So i can only say the experience helped me a lot.
Just 2 more weeks and i can have a drink and think about your wonderful achievement, as you did mine.
Stay Strong
AL
Feel quite good at the moment. Had a great weekend as ny son was home from University
Not felt the need to post much on my diary as what can you say about half a lifetime of lies and regret ?
93 days.
Just for today, I will not gamble
Hi Ken,
100th day gf what a fantastic achievement im thrilled to bits well done and congratulations. Isnt it so much better waking up and not thinking o*g what the hell did i do yesterday then start the chase to try and get it back. Constantly sucked in to that vicious circle of despair. Im off to my daughters tonight for tea and to see my grandsons. We usually share a bottle of wine and ill be raising my glass in celebration of your fantastic progress.
Stay Strong and Well Done
AL
Your post is really appreciated AL.
100 days
In the old days I would fantisise that if I could stop for x days I would do this, that or the other (usually meaning I would have a large bet on some horse, that of course was "bound to win").
Happily 100 days doesn't feel any different than yesterday, and I know I'm just at the start rather than the destination.
Each day starts with the mantra I learned going to GA all the way back in 1987 or 1988............Just for today I will not gamble.
Stay strong, never get complacement and treat everything a day at a time.
Just like to say thank you to all of those posting and supporting on my diary, particulalrly those of you who are at a similar stage, either side of the 100 day mark.
It's much appreciated.
Would be great if people could check in on the '2018 challenge' thread - just so we know how the 'class of 2018' are doing.
Funny how things pop into your head.....
Was just driving home and thought about the automated calls I used to get from my bank when I’d been on a bad spree - those days where you can barely keep track of your betting.
The disembodied voice
“ Internet debut - a gambling transaction £200 “
Followed by another and another and another, just the amounts varying and usually increasing.
Must have had dozens upon dozens of those calls over the years.
The knot in your stomach getting one of those call. Bad days indeed
101 days
Congratulations K2 on your excellent progress ...stephen
107 days.
Day at a time.
Guard against complacency.
Concentrate on more than just not gambling
The days soon mount up.
115 days
Day at a time.
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