April Fools!

Day 108.

Worked from home today so that was good. It also enabled me to go to Specsavers in my lunch break and get micro suction on my left ear which has been blocked for a few weeks now.  I have had it done several times over the years and the £60 cost is worth every penny - much better than the old fashioned ear syringing done at the G.P Practice. What was even better about it, was that I did not have to wait until next payday before I could book the appointment 👌. Slowly but surely, finances are improving 🙏.

My son came over for the evening so we watched a few more episodes of Homeland before I decided to retire to my bed.  Now to watch some lighthearted Gavin & Stacey before I get some shut eye 😴.

Good night, God bless all.

”April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Amazing Pink lady your only in a couple months recovery and thinks are looking brighter my life has totally changed in just 1 year far better then previously, in short space of time, i have also reduced my hours as i have been struggling with health for a number of years, their was a time where i would be begging for overtime only to pay of friends and family only to lose it all to gambling since this short period i have managed to clear my debt, had my bedroom done which needed doing for a number of years all thanks to not gambling my life has drastically changed i see gambling as being robbed in broad day light or a scam so need to keep my gaurd up 

@tazman Thank you Taz. 💙.

🩷🍎.

Almost your last day at work @j5a6meyr4z, just checking in on you. Some big days ahead with leaving an old role and starting a new one. Hope it goes well and you find a stress free life in your new job.

Hope you are well

Fish

P.S. Stay strong 💪 

@p6z38njbqm Thank you Fish for always having my back!🐟💙.

🩷🍎.

Day 112.

Not posted since Thursday. Reason being, was that my sister and I have had my nephew’s 2 little girls for the weekend (first time they have stayed out without their Mummy since losing their Daddy)💔💙. It’s fair to say that the last few days have been an emotional rollercoaster - watching them both, knowing their Daddy is never coming back. Then yesterday, his eldest daughter, aged 9, along with her best friend from school, entered into the Race for Life, in memory of her Daddy and to raise money for brain tumour research. There was such a good turnout from family and friends to cheer them both on. It was a proud and sad moment all at the same time and myself and all my family are still struggling to come to terms with the fact that my nephew is no longer here and never will be 😢. Wherever he is however, I just know that he will be absolutely bursting with pride, knowing that his little girl and her friend raised £2,500.00 for their named charity 🩷🥰🩷🥰👏👏👏👏. It’s times like this that can really mess with how I am feeling. Such mixed emotions 😢.

I checked in on my lovely sister today and we got out for a walk, even though we were both feeling shattered - we love looking after the girls but it is tiring and we are not getting any younger but we wouldn’t have it any other way!💪👍. My sister cooked dinner for us both which was scrumpy 😋.

Although the weekend has been lovely, albeit tinged with sadness too, my sister and I got some excellent news that we have been waiting and praying for - her daughter called us at tea time to tell us she had just been offered the job as head of communications for Kellogg’s!!👏👏👏👏. She has been through a rigorous interviewing process over the past few weeks, which then culminated in her being offered the post!👌. She deserves this so much, especially after losing her baby brother last year. I am sure he has been looking after her and watching over her 😇💙.

Five more working days left in my current job - 3 this week and 2 the week after then I am gone for good. All of a sudden, it has come round so quickly!

No gambling thoughts. Anything but! Been concentrating on far more important things, which is spending time and helping to look after my precious family👌.

Take care all, stay safe and enjoy life while you are on this earth - you never know when it can be whipped away from you!💔💙.

”April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Day 113.

Trained it into the office today purposely to see two clients. Neither of them turned up! I thought, “rather than feeling annoyed, I am going to still feel happy at the news I got from my niece last night”! 👏👏🩷. It was nice however, to catch up with some of my colleagues for a natter/spot of lunch with them, so the journey to work was not completely wasted 👍. Now home and just about to log off for the evening. I have my son coming for tea and sleepover so we will catch up on more Homeland together.

Working from home tomorrow and have my “exit interview” over teams with my manager, tomorrow afternoon. It’s all becoming real now!😬.

Take care all and for those just starting out on your g.f journey and struggling, please keep going. It is so much better for your mental and physical health once you jump off that crazy gambling cycle!👌.

”April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

@j5a6meyr4z hi Pink.  It is great reading through your posts and seeing how your focus is anywhere but gambling.

I know Homeland got rave reviews but I never watched it.  It is on my to do list though.

It's great how reading how much you enjoy family and friends.  Just a simple walk in the park with a mate is so much more rewarding than losing money gambling and self hate.

Good luck with ending the job.  I look forward to reading about your new chapter 👍🏼 

@thebean Thanks so much bean 💙. Deffo give Homeland a try - it keeps your mind so concentrated 👍🙂.

Take care. 🙏.

Day 114.

I had my “Exit interview” with my line manager today, over Teams. It went well and when he asked me how I felt, I wasn’t really sure?? I have had quite an emotional weekend already. I suppose I won’t really know until I start in my new role but I am just hoping I have made the right decision. My gut is telling me I have and my gut usually serves me well🤞🙏. I am most definitely not going to allow myself to worry about this however, between now and my starting date. Besides, I have a mini break and a family holiday to go on before then!😎.  More about them in later posts 🙂.

Take care all and don’t waste any more of your money on gambling - save it for holidays!!😎.

”April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Day 115.

An easy day at work today, which is a rarity in the job I do. On wind down now though - 2 more physical working days to go then I hand in all my Probation equipment/belongings next Thursday morning and that’s me done, after 20 years service in the place! 👋👋. On to pastures new. 🙏.

Was just thinking earlier, almost 4 months since I last gambled, I rarely think about my next payday! When I take myself back to some of my “gambling bouts”, when I had spent all my salary within just a few hours of receiving it, I just shudder at the sheer thought of that now!🫣. Having to wait for another 30 days to pass before I would have any money to my name!🙈. Just doesn’t bear thinking about. This is the thing with gambling at it’s worst, common sense and self-control just go straight out the window! Next Wednesday is payday - my fourth payday since I last gambled. I almost forgot about that until it came to mind earlier. Things still financially tight-ish but most definitely getting better and hoping for that to continue with the goals I put in place last payday.👍.

My sister and I are meeting up with my cousins tomorrow for a drink and a good catchup so that should be fun!🥂🍾.

Good night God bless all. Make your next payday a good one!

”April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Day 116.

Lovely little afternoon at my cousins, with my sister and my other cousin 🥂🍾👌. Family are precious. Look after each other.

Good night God bless all.

”April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Day 117.

Spent a nice little afternoon on my balcony, with my sister with a spritzer and some nibbles. 😎. Was good for the sun to be out for a change! Earlier, I had prepped a nice bolognaise sauce for dinner and my son joined us both.

I actually keep forgetting that it is payday on Wednesday!! Take me back to four months ago and I was counting down the hours, days and weeks until I was next being paid, due to spending almost all of my salary within just hours after receiving it! 🙈. I currently have £9.00 in my bank account which is fine as I don’t need anything right now and I had a food grocery shop delivery yesterday👍. I would have had more, only I forked out for micro suction on my ear, which I was really pleased I could afford and not have to wait until payday. From September onwards, the plan is to still have some money in my bank account each month on the day I am being paid and then try to build this up as the months progress. 🙏.

Today I did quite a simple thing. I set myself a little goal. My son will be 40 in less than 5 years time. I have thought about this and the last thing I want, is not to have any money or enough money to be able to celebrate this well with him. Also, when my Mum passed away nearly 5 years ago, I was left some money, which I used to purchase a brand new car outright. I also wanted to give my son £1,000.00 but at the time I felt I couldn’t. I know my other siblings gave their children some of their money which has made me feel extremely guilty about this over the years😢. With this in mind, I have set up a standing order for a small amount to be taken from my bank account each week, to be transferred into an ISA in my other bank account so I won’t notice it going in/adding up. The aim is to give him a nice Birthday etc but also, give him the £1,000.00 on top of anything else I get him. I quite like the idea that it is a goal, a challenge and a long-term plan. One that will also keep reminding me that if I don’t gamble anymore, this will be achievable. Plus my mantra still stands - “slow and steady wins the race”!👍😊.

I have noticed an influx of new people on here over the last few days, which just keeps reminding me that gambling usually ends up being a lost cause, with any winnings just really being a “loan”. So I say to those new folk on here - “keep your money, stay safe and I hope you find the strength you need to set up blocks and distance yourself from the chaos that gambling can cause 🙏.

Take care all.

”April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Day 118.

Spent a lovely sunny Sunday afternoon in the grounds of my apartment with my neighbour, drinking fizz, eating nibbles and general chit chat! Totally disconnected from any form of gambling and doing all the things I enjoy!👌😎.

Happy Sunday peops!😎.

”April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Day 119.

A beautiful summer’s day, blighted by the most horrific major incident in Southport 💔😢. What has the world come to?🤷🏻‍♀️. Saddening beyond belief.

Tomorrow, is my “leaving” lunch! I have baked an iced lemon Madeira cake and made an abundance of chocolate tiffins!😋. They should go down well - if they haven’t melted by the time I get them to work!🤞.

Take care all and if you are feeling there isn’t a way out and life is hard, there really is and life cannot be as bad as being stabbed to death in broad daylight whilst having fun! RIP little ones 🩷. My heart and prayers go out to their families and to those still critical in hospital 🙏🙏🙏.

”April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.