You took my hand and showed me the way
As ever so confident in those steps you take
You let me run in front of you
So i can taste the stride you do...
I never got too far behind
And if i did you slowed your stride
You always listened, you always assured
Tomorrow is new day to get up and walk.
No time for sadness, you've got to belief
You make your own bed where you'll have to sleep.
11 years later i still lay my bed
All sadness and pain i found on the way...
I kick and i fight...i'm looking for a way out
I never give up on this life going fight
Today i stand tall, and looking ahead
and i can tell you dear Dad
I'm here to to catch that step!
Even if you slowed down
I will be the one to lead
Cause I'm one greatful daughter you have tought to belief!
((((Dad))))) xx
Sandra that is beautiful xx
It's saturday night oh when did things change
I used to be out I used to dance in the rain
friends were plentiful
never felt quite as glum
oh when did things change
one night a week I gave myself
enjoying myself sharing my wealth,
Now alone here I sit on a saturday night
not one single friend is within sight
but I sit here content not one penny is spent
I hear my boys laugh and although I'm alone
I feel like I'm sitting upon a throne!!!
Lay here can't sleep
the house is quiet not a peep
my heart is low for my brain won't stop
the memories call like pop pop pop
push them aside don't let them in
head is whirling in a spin
close your eyes it's all too near
heart is pounding full of fear
please now stop head .. not a peep
I really do just want to sleep
I made it through the night
towards the new days light
the urge was there but I wouldn't dare
instead I read the site
There will be these days I know
in them strength I must show
triggers noted,thoughts promoted
I made it through the night
Today I smile my family are coming for tea
ill be the host a smile for all this is how I must be
to keep busy is a must
in myself I must trust
day 8 again not one single site
and for today just today
I made it through the night.
Slow down mummy don't walk so fast
for I need to follow you
calm down mummy don't be so rash
for I need to learn from you
slow down mummy don't cry again
for I need to feel like you
slow down mummy
I won't be small for long
and everything you do it teaches me how to fall
so slow down mummy smile and laugh again
for when you do I won't remember your pain
Hello tt1980 x
I haven't gone away, better still i haven't strayed,
been busy with the strife, of what one barely calls a life,
hanging on at every thread, a new job i had to find,
which exhausted all my time, but needs must to hold back the debt,
i admit i broke a sweat, but my conditions have been met.
so as i say good night and well done to our fellow postees,
stone roses and Sandra12 welcome to our town,
loved the work i've read......now once more i'm off to bed....
as my new job is now nights .......a newer sacrifice.......a condition of the wreckage left behind of the addiction of my past.
as it effects again are everlast.
Lest-we-forget (64 days gamble free)
☺ lest we forget glad your ok ☺
I'm tired today
all work and no play
better to stay busy
tho I think it can make you feel dizzy
poorly kids,chores so many
but collecting up those unspent penny's
The goal is there its all insight
with all your might you must fight fight fight
The bills there rolling in each day
not knowing when or how I'll pay
keep calm slow down don't panic n fright
you know what caused this horrible blight
a moment of madness
an urge so strong
if you'd only played less
or for so long
one day at a time, a second an hour
a bill at a time you have the power
it will get easier the bills theyl get paid
each one to bed will be laid
no more madness, to fight the urge so strong
remind yourself your doing well with each day long
x
There in the darkness you hide
counting the days your time you bide
an email,a leaflet a tv ad
never not wanting me not to be sad
there in the shadows I see you move
trying to guide me into your groove
when will you give up....I will not relent
my recovery I will not let you dent
there in the corner I see you gloom
but in my recovery you watch me bloom
your promises were shapen and bent
my lust for you all but went
Each day I grow stronger
so you try some what longer
so in your glare I now stare
to see the real you ugly and bare
when will you give up I will not relent
my recovery I will not let you dent
Here where i stand
i want world to slow down.
Take a deep breath and calm myself down
I'm not here to heal world
I'm here to be true
To listen and help if i can make dreams come true
That shoulder we share, that tear will come through
Recovery is one way we can look ahead to.
We all in control and we all have a choice
Destruction or living -what will be your call?
Addiction is playing ahead in our minds
But who are we to give up the fight!!
The new way forward we have found in one step
Another step means we can make it ahead
So keep the fight going cause all this is true
One day at a time -you will find the real you!
.If not up to fight...we will still be here
We'll drag you from gutter and make you believe
Forever we stand tall, we're never on our own
Whatever it takes we will fight this all along!
Addiction is sneaky
Addiction will stand.....
No matter how hard you will put yourself to fight
today what it matters...today is what's true
If you choose to fight - I'm right alongside you!!!!!!!!
d**n.....!!!! Let's mk it happen
excellent poems tt1980 and also Sandra12, Well done.
The more the merrier, a great medium to expression.
who can one trust?
if not ones, very own brain?
am i an addict?
am i just insane?
the look in those eyes,
whom have not such a diesese,
you can really tell, they do not believe,
the seed of doubt is sown,
the soil poisoned through,
only help that can survive,
is from a fellow soul, whose disease is like your own,
for truly only they, understand the pain and toil,
like you they have a wounded soul,
but can survive the poisoned soil,
and bud, a whole new life,
from the foundations in such ground.
heading for the light,
the shadow always near,
ready to breach the light,
the soil may be bad,
but above the core we stand,
our lives, as one, can sustain us all,
if we chose to fight and not to fall.
I listen as I hear you shout abuse
how I'm stupid and of no use
I cower as I feel you in my face
over and over those words of distaste
I hear as you scream it's all my fault
each word in my heart a sudden bolt
a bad mum,a t**t,not worth a dime
over and over you word out your rhyme
Here's the thing no more ill take
I gambled yes this was my mistake
but my children are loved and want for nowt
I've worked my while life without a doubt
two partners in all of my 34 years
how can you bludgeoned me
bring me constant to tears
for all who knew me before you came,
would never agree not these things they would blame,
confident funny made of strong steel
giving up this was never the deal
I will beat my gambling of this I'm sure
as the same you've been shown the door
It's time to rise up not cower n hide
one day at a time I shall again stride
Payday today used to be my excuse
as I used to play the gamble abuse
today though I paid all of my bills
attually filled me with different sort of thrills
as I ticked off each one paid and secure
I wonder why I didn't think more
happy to know a payments been made
one less reminder will come through the door
Mr gamble no more you lure
content in the knowledge I have not let my kids down for 20 days
this alone peace it pays
payday today not an excuse
no more to myself will gambling abuse.
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