Can't believe I got sucked back in. It was only 4 hours, 4 hours of misery, panic, self destruction to be honest pure pain, hated every minute of it, why bother??
Nothing major lost financially, just let myself down, tried to recoup what I lost 3 weeks ago, 3 weeks ago I tried to recoup what I lost in Dec, In december I tried to recoup what I lost in April, it goes on and on.
I can go months without a flutter, I think I just need to remind myself of how utterly soul destroying gambling can be. Its c**P, no pleasure what so ever, no buzz, no point.
It's probably been worth 250 to get to this point.
I have to be the most excluded punter in the world, luckily im addicted to self excluding, I've just excluded from the bookie I just used.
Moses and gamcare have probably saved my life, even tho at times I've resented them, hence found alternatives.
I know I've been here before, but I've had enough, I really found gambling a boring, depressing activity, impossible to win, we all know when u do win u give it back, u can't win cos u can stop cliché.
I'm a sports gambler, or was a sports gambler, I look at the football coupon, its impossible, even my own team that I watch week in and week out are so unpredictable. I've had more systems than hot dinners. I've had a go at spread betting, backing and laying the draw etc, - even if it does go right for a couple of days, the greed in me is all too much, the stress, the misery, the anger.
I've done ga, too clicky, I know why I gamble, boredom and lack of opportunities due to my years of wasting time gambling.
I'm very fortunate to have a loving family, nice house , job, car etc but gambling wants to take it all.
I want to bottle my misery at the moment, it really is c**P! Even if I won a couple of grand. When would it stop, we all know the answer.
5.51pm 3rd February 2023, the last time ever I self destructed. I'm not looking forward to waking up 2mo, the dreaded gambling hangover, but this is the turning point, I've had enough, a day at a time.
Thanks for the reply Simon, it's a day at a time for me, just like yesterday and today, Keeping the blocks in place, keep reading this site and keeping busy is my plan, it worked for 11 out of 12 months last year, the older I get the less I can't be bothered with the hassle of gambling, what's the point.
I suppose I have to accept the things I cannot change ie the money lost is gone forever and time. Gambling is poison a bad habit.
Are you not blocked from all gambling sites? Personally I could never use a bookie outside of the UK, insanity in my opinion giving details to a dodgy outfit in curaçao with no hope of getting your winnings that you would lose anyway if they did pay u out.
All the best Simon, a day at a time fella, debt free and a stress free life will be your reward.
A new week, fresh start , aim of the day to make sure I'm busy, busy making plans for future work, idle hands and all that.
Enjoyed watching the football yesterday, don't know if I'm still hurting from my little flutter on Friday but not a gambling thought entered my head, always found football impossible, then again I found all sports impossible to predict.
Looking back I've had 6 gambling episodes in the last 2 years, all had no pleasure, all ended up in losses, I think I've come to the point in my journey where its enough now. One day at a time.
Moving on from gambling, the past 3 weeks have been pretty easy, I know I'm done with gambling, tho I know at any time it can creep up and tap you on the shoulder.
Keeping busy is the key, having a plan for each day to avoid boredom, keeping focused.
Does any one else have trouble with this site? It use to be a lot easier to use, I cannot find any of my old diaries? I find it hard to log in. Very few users now as well, which I suppose is a good thing, but worry its because this site is not very easy to use?
Dear Reality Rob,
We are sorry to read that you are experiencing difficulties with the forum.
Would you be so kind to write to this email address so our team can investigate the issues mentioned?
Forum.admin@gamcare.org.uk
Kind regards,
Forum Admin.
Day 99, just checking in gamble free.
My recovery journey goes marching on, a day at a time.
Could of had a wobble last Sunday, felt a bit hungover, very rarely drink these days, I recognised in the past when my head was not in the right place I would succumb to a gamble, which would then evolve to a 2 or 3 week sesh. But I conquered the urge.
To be fair , probably the only urge I've had in the past 99 days.
I have to let go of my past losses, they are still there in the back of my head, life is good at the moment I'm moving forward 1 day at a time.
Just 4 2day I shall not gamble.
100 days gamble free, ironically on the same date I nearly contemplated doing something stupid 18 years ago. That day I blew a lot of money that wasn't mine, it still haunts me, I managed somehow to replace the money with the help of my parents. Definitely the lowest point of my life.
This forum is definitely not as supportive as it used to be in the dairies, I'm as guilty as any, there doesn't seem to be a great deal of comments on people's diaries.
When I first come on this site there was a guy called James P with a fountain of knowledge who always commented on new members post, he was a great help, maybe I'm wrong, just seems a lot quieter these days.
Day ? Who cares, still gamble free since Feb 3, no urge to gamble, could of been tempted with the ashes, but enjoyed it as a spectacle, wouldn't of won anyway, that 1st bet really is the one to avoid, I know to well how easy it is to get back into gambling.
Dare I say it going along nicely, gambling really doesn't appeal at present. Struggling with money a bit. Im very fortunate to have some excess money now, it's a strange thing, I'm trying to keep bit back ,sub consciously for gambling or in my twisted mind investing. I've started a few projects around the house/garden that are going to require a bit of money, hopefully I will see sense and spend whatever money I have on those.
Im not sure if I will ever have a healthy relationship with money, the need to have a secret stash just in case is just too great at present. A day at a time I suppose.
Day 279, its irrelevant as we're all 1 day away from a gamble.
Been keeping busy, it's been the key to abstaining, gambling takes a lot of effort mentally, dunno how I ever made time to gamble!
Regrets haunt me at present, all those years wasted on the dreams of a fantasy life gambling for a living. If buts and maybes hey. Still gamble free, a day at a time.
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