Back to stay

Well today I nearly bought a scratch card but I’m not giving a single penny of my money to those ppl anymore. Plus I didn’t want that gambling ‘feeling’ of anticipating a win. No more. I really hate that feeling now it’s stressful and uncomfortable now. I really am happier gf.

Great to hear you didn't buy that scratchcard Lulu, they are bloody rubbish and we aren't missing anything, buy yourself some lovely sweeties instead.

Good girl, keep up the good work 22 days is excellent!

Your pal, Wilsy! x

Well done Lulu on not getting that scratchcard. We need to stay focussed and not forget the misery that gambling leaves at our door.

You are 22 days away from your last bet and that is excellent. Those first few weeks are very challenging times so well done on your good progress.

I have stuck a mini statement on my kitchen wall from last wednesday. It shows 5 withdrawals in a row which emptied my bank account. It all went into the bookies pocket via a few fobt machines. How sad and stupid is that !!!

Take care my friend and keep going forward...stephen

Thanks Wilsey and Stephen for your messages it means a lot x. 23 days gf! I’ll post on your diaries too. X

Fail! Bought three scratch cards the bingo ones, gutted gave in had a bad morning with urges not just thoughts. Worse still I’ve been getting emails about new sites and when I click on link in the email it brings up option for Safari so there’s that way round block of K9 bad news, but joined and self excluded straight away, I’m not giving into online gambling the scratch cards are bad enough. I can honestly say though that scratch cards don’t bother me really I’m not drawn towards them like online slots, online slots are deadly for me and I know this. Scratch cards aren’t but it’s still not great like you said Wilsey my friend they are rubbish. Feel gutted but not going back day 1 that’ll just demotivate me and it’s slots that are my Achilles heel. Now to change email address I think so I don’t get anymore ‘promotions’ of new websites. On one hand I’m proud that I just joined and self excluded straight away because that was sooo hard to do, no peace in my head just battling thoughts I want my peace back. I’m so much happier gf so why still the urges gambling just brings us misery. Anyway bad day moving on from it

Funny but buying those scratch cards has doubled my determination not to gamble anymore, I didn’t ‘enjoy’ it as it stole my peace of mind. Looks like I’m going to have to get GamBan though or like I said change my email address but that’s loads hassle easier to get GamBan also for my laptop even though it’s slow. I’ll be able to relax properly then, don’t like loopholes so glad self excluded again. How many are there? They seem never ending. Well scratch cards got £9 of my money and that’s £9 way to much. Feeling more balanced again now, this is a rough journey

Hi Lulu, that is the main thing, you didn't do the slots, a few scratch cards even though you felt disappointed, won't do any damage or harm but the slots will so pat yourself on the back big time, give yourself credit and look at all the positives.

Funny you should ask today, well the one who had the operation is a bundle of joy but my oldest girl isn't doing too well, she is struggling to move around freely and is sleeping alot and just not looking herself. I am taking her straight over to my experts (their previous mummies) to get an emergency opinion. I am worried sick and need to find out that it is just arthritas which we can deal with by giving her drops and vitamins, I just don't want her to be in pain or for it to be anything else. I gues at 5 years she is an old girl, I just hope her end isn't coming soon as I'll be devastated, they are all I have in my life along with friends and family, I love them loads. My little lion just isn't her normal self. Wish could send you pictures 🙁 x

All my posts are going to start ‘ ?gamble free days apart from three stupid scratch cards’ it’s been a learning curve again, I really don’t ‘enjoy’ gambling don’t think I ever have cos of how it makes me feel. Peace & equilibrium restored again. Going to learn from this morning.

Hello Lulu thank you for the kind words on my diary.

I will keep that mini statement on my kitchen wall as a reminder of how gambling (once again) left me with no money . Over several hours I made 5 withdrawals which emptied my bank account of my works pension which had only gone in the bank that morning. Absolute madness.

Please come to terms with buying the 3 scratch cards and move on. You recognise it was foolish but you regret your impulsive action and have been totally honest with yourself and your diary. I was faced with a similar dilemma many years ago after I had stopped drinking alcohol. At a social gathering I had a glass of punch and a year or so later I inadvertently had half a glass of wine. After careful consideration I chose not to alter my alcohol-free count but accepted I had experienced a couple of hiccups along the way. I am now over 27 years without alcohol and have no regrets.

Take care my friend and keep going forward. Be kind but firm. Treat yourself with respect, compassion and understanding. Wishing you well and sending a big hug to lululand ... stephen x

Hiya Stephen aww that’s such a lovely post cheered me up no end! So sorry you lost that money it is total madness but that’s cgs for you there’s no logic or reason is there. You’ve obviously battled alcohol too well done for that! You should be so very proud of yourself for doing that. I think I’ve replaced one addiction for another 🙁 but it’s a learning curve. I will put it behind me Stephen thank you for that boost. Your such a special guy thanks for your support x big hugs from me too Lulu x

24 days! Feel better now here’s to 28 days, 1 month but one day at a time! Best of wishes everyone x

hi lulubobs ....
I get the uncomfortable feeling around scratch cards and lottery.my OH always asks me to get him a lucky dip.only one once a week if he remembers.hes never had gambling issues.weird thing is I'll think you'll never win on that what a waste of money but online slots were different in my head.how stupid could I get..
keep going .love ur posts x

Hi Cookie x that’s exactly what I felt like uncomfortable it really destroyed my peace just a few scratch cards but I think that’s cod it’s going into that gambling head you know with all the frustration, miserableness, anxiety etc etc. It really is like a drug with a huge comedown it wasn’t as heavy as that with the scratch cards but niggled at my peace and I hated that. I really do hate gambling for everything it does to your mind emotions even body so I’ll stay gamble free even through all the urges. Slots ah they are deadly they feed quick regular hits of dopamine so our comedown is nasty then the dopamine receptors are gagging for more but when we stop there isn’t any until we build it up again naturally like seeing the first signs of spring, the sun in a blue sky, enjoying a cappuccino lol. I’m waffling again sorry but the more I understand the science behind addiction the better lol. Hope your good Cookie bestest of wishes x Lulu

Hi Wilsey my friend for some reason I keep missing your posts, don’t they come in until later or something I remember you saying that your posts were being checked and then loaded about five hours later? Sorry anyway my friend, yes your right if it had been slots I’d be back on the nasty rollercoaster. I’m glad in a way I bought them cos it’s made me want to stay gf even more so. Oh I am sorry Wilsey our animals are our family, children I know all my dogs have been my babies. I really hope she’s ok and it’s just something easily treated, as she’s so well looked after there’s no reason she can’t go on for quite a while x I’ve been devastated when my other dogs have gone, I know we have to face it but it doesn’t make it any easier. Sending healing thoughts to her. Bestest wishes my friend x Lulu

yes there is a delay in my posts being published but hopefully for not much longer. Well re the piggie, i went home at lunctime and the meds are certainly working. She was out in the middle of the cage and when I went to give her some veggies she popcorned (sign of excitement) and jumped almost completely out of the cage, I had to catch her before she fell out, it was so funny she has never jumped in her life so I am so, so happy.

You are doing so well my friend, forget the scratch cards, no damage done and nearly a full month, you should be so proud of yourself.

Wilsy x