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Thanks both have posted on your diaries x 43 days today, heading towards 50. Still can’t get hold of my son. No urges.

Hi lulu thanks for your message we keep each other strong . Sorry youve had no news yet fingers crossed he gets in touch soon . Not long now and you will be hitting the big 50 feels great too . Ive not had any urges recently hopefully it will stay that way too . I never want to go back to that hell we lived . Speak soon hun take care Bambi x

Hi Bambi sorry late reply but been really busy packing and sorting out we move next weekend! And good news finally spoke to my son, he’s not good though but he’s making his choices. It just doesn’t stop me worrying even though I tell myself that. How are you hun? Yes we support each other and no there’s no way I’m going back to that hell of gambling either stay strong hun and bestest wishes x Lulu x

45 days still gf and going to stay that way. Busy busy at mo with packing etc for our move next weekend can’t wait! Fresh new start

Hi lulu thats great news so glad you have seen your son and at least you know he is ok . Dont worry i know you are busy hun getting ready for the big move hope it all goes smoothly and it all fits lol . Speak soon hun take care Bambi x

So pleased to hear that you have heard from your son.
Look how well you are doing - what with the stress of not knowing about your son on top of moving house!
Keep going Lulu - a fresh new start, a fresh new you. Who needs gambling in their life - we don't!!!
We can do this! x

Thanks Bambi & Lml x 46 days gf! I have no urges whatsoever it’s still way to fresh the devastation that gambling brought me to. Also the total realisation that I am addicted to the actual playing doesn’t matter win or lose so what’s the point?! I’d just keep playing win or lose and eventually reach that devastation again. I know I’ll still have urges probably out of blue but for now I’m content that the addiction is leaving me in peace. Bestest wishes everyone x Lulu x

Happy Easter lulu what you wrote is exactly it we enjoy the game but thats it for us it is pointless . Glad the urges are getting better 🙂 Best wishes Bambi xx

Hi Bambi, yes it is totally pointless isn’t it. I had a small urge this morning more just a thought but definitely hardly anything it’s so good to have that peace. I think the biggest thing that’s helping me, apart from this forum, is the loads of You Tube videos I’ve watched about what gambling does to your brain and what us as cg s are actually addicted to, I tend to work on logic and love problem solving too so reading and listening to that side of the addiction really helped me. Also facing up to the fact that I just can’t stop once I start. I’ll also never forget the devastation it caused and my moods sooo out of control. The desperation too of trying to find some money to gamble with while getting deeper and deeper into debt. It’s all made me build a good defence against urges I’m also glad that I’m not complacent about no urges as that could destroy me again. I feel like I’ve found the right balance of fearing the addiction to being able to tell it to do one. I still have ptsd, my sons still a drug addict, many things aren’t perfect but for the first time in years I can finally see gambling for what it is, a lie, a brain changing illness and totally utterly pointless to a cg. Sorry ppl I’ve rambled but better out than in

Oh and 48 days gf x

49 days gf! 50 late tonight! I will say to anyone struggling please don’t give up stopping because it is so very worth it. Being gf is a good, decent life yes we all still have our various problems of life but they are all made 100x worse when you gamble and the peace being gf brings is priceless. Keep strong, get all those blocks in place and read ppls diaries for more inspiration and read, watch videos on what happens to the brain when gambling etc. Hope I don’t come across as lecturing etc but really want to share what’s helped me on being gf. Bestest wishes

Just found out my son has been going to the Bookies he said ‘only’ £10 a week but we just don’t know if he’s telling truth, when my dad asked if he went on the FOBTs he said no but I’m not sure I believe him, I thought it was drugs (he’s on methadone) being the reason he never had any money left after being paid but now I’m not so sure. The good thing is he’s agreed to give my dad his monthly money and for my dad to give him so much a week. I’ll be absolutely devastated if it is FOBTs on top of methadone because just dealing with gambling alone is so very very hard and I know exactly how he’ll be feeling. Apparently he’s not had money for food or electric and has lost considerable amount of weight through not eating, he even got caught stealing food. I knew none of this as he went awol and only managed to speak to him once before he went awol again. Sometimes I don’t know how much more I can take

Hello Lulu,

Sorry to hear about your son struggling. Don't blame yourself for it, you know what addiction is like. Its tough but its something we have to try face up to ourselves. Yes we need support and you can be that support as and when he needs/asks for it. Your doing great, i'll be checking in to see you hit the bullseye tomorrow!

Take care.

Hi lulu i might take a look at those utube videos would be nice to understand this addiction better and why it gets us all into so much debt !! Im really sorry lulu about your son really hope he isnt on those fobts like you say one addiction is bad enough . Stay strong hun all you can do is be there and support him hes made a huge step if hes giving his wages to your dad thats a great start . The sad thing is like we know they will only stop when they are ready if you push him it might send him away just being there for him and giving support will help him . 50 days for you tomorrow well done hun we have come along way all the best Bambi x

Hi sjw thank you means a lot, yes I’m trying to give the right support because yes he has to do it himself. I’m worried sick about him but oh so tired of the treadmill with him it’s gone on for years one thing or another. Yes bullseye 50 days really pleased 🙂 thanks sjw appreciate your support and encouragement bestest wishes Lulu xx