It was going so well, I hadn't gambled since May and things were looking up. I was in better moods, enjoyed new experiences but most noticably I started to value money again. I'm not sure why but in November I put a football bet on (perhaps a last ditch to win my money back) which of course led to me losing another £2k as I continued to bet. I've now installed blocking software to ensure it can't happen again but I know it will take a lot of work over the next few months to resist the temptation. I despise gambling and everything associated with it - the mood swings, the feeling of guilt and the constant worry. I've calculated that if I stop gambling and save carefully then I can be in a good position financially this time next year, money which can be used towards house deposit etc. I've stopped gambling for 12 months before so I know I can do it... My goal is to be gamble free for 12 months at first and then my whole life.
My last bet was November 14th 2016 and it needs to stay that way. It simply has to.
Hello Dave sorry you fell off the wagon so to speak. I'm 71 days gf now and started by giving myself smaller goals to start with like 20 days, 50 days and my next target is 100. Having the blocks in place helps and so does keeping a diary, also reading the many success stories spurs you on. I also had to come to terms with the losses, you have to,let them go because as you found out trying to win them back just keeps you gambling and loosing even more money. The machines are made to give a little but take a whole lot more. Best wishes on your journey to recovery x
Dave, I've lost count of how many times I've fell off. Just get back on and make the right choice everyday from now on. The days will soon rack up.
Hi Dave678
Although its hard news you have to move on now and step things up.
My view is thats is less about the square one on the snakes and ladders board and more about stages of realisation in recovery. There are stages and many people go through the early ones thinking how hard can this be.
A key point is that I was never in control even though I would chose to remember the breaks over the click of a finger sessions where hundreds and thousands were lost. I used to call myself an on and off gambler but that was me trying to justify that I was all in control and could handle it
Its hard to accept that the mind just isnt ready sometimes even if you know you should be stopping. It took me 10 months after joining the forum and forty years before then.
Willpower alone is not enough and any way in will lead to relapses.
Is there anyone close you can talk to that can monitor the situation. The sorts of measures needed are no access to gadgets, complete blocks on gadgets exclusion from all bookies in a wide area if not nationwide. Also living on an allowance and not being able to use cards for deposits or cash withdrawals.
Its is that serious and you have to focus on what gambling has done because it has more of that in store for you
It doesnt work as a get it back later scheme but you know that really
I think you are getting there and it does take almost a phoenix moment where you are strong in knowing that you have had enough of it for ever. Some say it takes desperate lows but the money you have thrown away should be a real warning sign to you and I know how low you feel afterwards
All the best and keep talking about your blocks and any counselling
Thanks for the messages everyone
Yesterday was 100 days gamble free and it feels great. The temptations are still there and I'm having to fight urges on a regular basis but my mood has improved significantly.
Here's to another 100.
Well done on your 100 days, stay strong, focused and positive x best wishes x
Congratulations Dave on reaching 100 days GF!! Really pleased your staying strong & you seem in a good place to now have another 100 days GF.
I've only just realised but yesterday meant 250 days gamble free. The urges are no longer as strong but the start of the new football season will be a challenge.
Next goal is 365 days.
Thank you all for the support you have given.
Sunday was 300 days gambling free and I'm pleased to say the urges are hardly there anymore, even when watching live football. I feel like I'm in a good place but need to remain focused.
365 days is the next target.
15th November 2017 meant that I had reached my target of being gamble free for one whole year. Feels great and I'm pleased to say I no longer have the urges to gamble. I was with some friends at the weekend and they decided to go into the bookies to place their football bets. I thought I'd go in with them as a test to see how I'd feel. I watched them fill in their betting slips with no urge to do the same whatsoever and pleased to say having a bet didn't even cross my mind. I looked around and observed, thinking back to when I used to gamble, how horrible it felt and how it almost ruined my life. I passed the test I set myself and it felt great.
Here's to another 365 days
Congrats on joining the 3% club Dave 🙂
Just a word to the wise...Recovery is for life! It’s one thing to be caught out by an advert on the telly or plastered around the grounds of a sporting event but the only reason for anyone to need to step inside a bookies is to go to work! Don’t play chicken with recovery.
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