Chasing Losses has ruined everything. Time for a change.

Hi amt1974,

Thanks for posting on my diary earlier. I really hope that reading my post has helped you. It certainly helped me when I re-read it the other day...

Congratulations on starting a recovery diary. I really hope you get all the necessary support and help that you need to move away from gambling. This recovery diary section has served me well over the years, and if there is one piece of advice I can give you. It is to keep posting and keep reading (that's actually two piece's of advice, isn't it?!)... oh well, you get the picture!

Just keep strong, and one day at a time things will improve if you really want to beat this addiction. You CAN do it my friend.

All the best

Ade

Congratulations on self excluding and your days free from a bet . Looking forward to reading more of your posts

Hi AMT, All looking good for you with another day clean and the confirmed self exclusion. It's funny, I only visit on-line casinos too, (or used to should I say) and again, I have a fixation with 2 games. Both video slots with bonus rounds. Anyway, another gambling free day for me too and starting to feel a little more positive. Good luck going forward AMT x

Well done will keep following your diary I'm on day three so really close to where you stopped also. Read peoples posts are helping me as rather than gambling on my phone just checking this website instead. Good luck anyway

Thanks for everyone's comments to date, have been looking on each of your threads and reading posts, its amazing looking how many new member's are posting each week, does the world apart from us compulsive gamblers realise the problem this industry is causing. OK i understand that the percentage of problem gamblers is very small compared to amount of user's there are. But surely some sort of regulator should be looking into the amount of advertising these companies are doing. Seem's every ad break on tv has at least one online casino or bingo site ad.

I am an ex smoker and was quite a heavy drinker in my late teens and early twenties having dabbled in the odd recreational drug as well. But for me did'nt have a problem stopping smoking approx 12 years ago, never craved again, drinking I never completely stopped but have the odd drink at home, ok if go out socialising i will maybe have 6-7 pints which is very rare due to work and family commitments. Never found alcohol addictive, but gambling (slots) has always been my one downfall.

To think about it always had a problem of when to stop. When i was a teenager used to go to seaside towns etc with mates on a Sunday and end up playing the slots in arcades or pubs. Always chased losses and very rarely walked away in profit. Never became a problem though as very rarely had the cash to spend beyond what i could afford. Was'nt until the internet came along and someone mentioned to me about betting on the Formula One races as i am a big fan, done a few bets lost and won small amounts no problem. Then I found the Vegas section of the website and was immediately hooked, initially playing the free games rather than depositing but that lasted all of 5 minutes! That was the start of my 7 years of pain, ok i won a decent amount but god know's how i ended up where i was 5 days ago!. (another post required!)

Am still suffering from sleep issues!! at least the last 5 nights it is'nt due to losing hundreds a night it is now more due to how going to replace what i've taken from my business! Day 6 today (Weds)

Nice one on 6 days amt1974 🙂

Sorry to hear you aren't sleeping, I think in the early days after hitting rock bottom, there is no escape from seeing the full force of the devastation laid out before you! Hopefully you will be able to figure this financial woe out & as you get more gamble free days under you belt find you start sleeping better!

The no sleeping is unfortunately a trait of early recovery . Stick with it

Day 6: still no urge to go back to the other side. Have'nt had the best of day's work wise, my business is weather dependant as in the building trade, rain today so over half a day's wages lost. Learn to accept it after 25 years in the trade but when you are desperate for the money it's difficult to take sometimes. Thoughts of maybe if I was still able to gain access to my online account there would of been a chance to win what's been lost plus more. But its only thought's, know if i did win would'nt of stopped as need to reclaim a substantial amount to cover recent losses.

Would always gamble in the evenings whilst kids in bed and wife at work or asleep. Chasing and chasing never stopping whilst had the funds. Greed got the better of me, no matter the amount won always wanted more, which eventually meant losing was inevitable. Whilst using online slots i'd get into a trance like state, never could afford to lose the money as what i had always was due to pay people or bills but if it was available to withdraw from the bank i would take it. Was'nt until i had maxed out the 24 hour deposit limit £500 - £1000 that it would become reality. More and more debt to repay. I can't recall a time when i was'nt in debt due to excessive gambling. Wasted thousands of hard earned money which could of been put into improving the quality of life for my daughter's and wife. 6-7 days a week 50 plus hour's working to cover the gambling losses and keep me in the game. Always making excuses to my wife as to why money always tight and cant afford anything, blaming the business, tax and vat owed etc as to why always struggling. Sad! can't go back to this way of living. Ok in the s**t for the foreseeable repaying the debts but need to keep this fight going,

Positive's today: another 24 hours abstained. 6 days done.

Hi AMT, you're selling yourself short - you're 7 days clear now 🙂

I know how hard it is in the building game and how rough winter is, in a way, that profession is a gamble in itself isn't it? You must be used to living by the skin of your pants.

Try not to keep looking back on what you have lost though, just look forward to what you can and will gain. I know how much you love your family, I'm the same with my son. I can't wait for the next time that I can say to him 'yes, you can have it!' He's got used to not even asking for things any more as the answer is normally 'sorry, can't afford it' - the guilt I feel is palpable. So, I am looking forward to him becoming a materialistic, normal teenager again! Onwards and upwards soldier! We're in this together AMT. We're both working on putting our lives back together and we will do it.

Well done on 7 days!!

Rach x

Hi amt1974, congratulations on your 1st week 🙂

Thanks for dropping by on my diary, I never really thought about marvelling @ the statements with no gambling transactions before which is a surprise since I used to make penny payments to credit cards in the past so I could have a page displayed on my phone without seeing any! I realise that I am one of the very few lucky ones who has had an inheritance payout since getting on the road to recovery & I log on to look @ that on a regular basis knowing that I can pay for my forthcoming wedding! In the past I would have thrown it away as I had gotten so bad that it was no longer about the winning...I stopped winning years ago & stopped wanting nice things for myself because I could never justify them! I'd gotten myself into such a crazy place (same as you maxing out on a daily basis irrelevant of where the money should have been going) that the only reason I wanted to get rich was so that I coukd gamble - Go figure?!?

Your half day today was temptation indeed but you won by kicking it in the face! he only way to get back your financial status quo is by hard word (weather permitting) & dedication - ODAAT

Thoughts of trying to recover some of my losses today but only thoughts, have had overdue demands of 5K from one of my trade suppliers, had the money when it was due, why did'nt i just pay it when the customer paid me, no i saw it in the business account and thought that looks good i'll leave it there until after xmas. I'll pay them in the new year. Come new year i had stole it and lost the lot in on the Pig Wizard slot. Not easy asking for time to pay on this overdue amount, local suppliers who i and my customer know, supplier will know my customer has paid so cant use that excuse, also if i cant pay full amount the account will be on stop. As it will be with my other supplier at the end of next week as cant pay them.

Not good at mo, trying to block it out and ignore those demons saying one more go to win some money back wont harm!!

Have'nt acted and wont, 8 days clean, so at least that's positive.

Just think about how dreadful you will feel in the morning if you were to give in and lose again AMT. And you know you will lose again ultimately. I know you're not going to give in, you've done so well this week. We're both in the brown at the moment - to different degrees, but it is having the same effect on our well being so it's all relative. You will think of a solution, you've been in business long enough to be able to wing an excuse that will buy you a little time. Come on AMT, we're all behind you. Positive thinking and all that! 8 Days - who'd have thought it? Think how much you haven't lost in 8 days. I haven't lost about £600 in 7 days and it feels amazing when I think of it like that.

Chin up buddy.

Rach x

Nice one recognising these evil thoughts for what they were & choosing no 🙂

We've all been there, just trying to get that little bit more to do x, y & z & ended up with nothing...That was your past, this is a new era! I too believe you will find a way through this, without the evil addiction that promised you the earth & yet dragged you down here to the pit of despair!

Keep strong & remember, we are all looking out for you in a way that gambling never did - ODAAT

Hi AMT,

Hoping you got through the demons last night and managed to get some sleep. I've been thinking about you today and wondering what I would do in the same situation. I can't wait for the day when we can wake up worry free, we just have to keep on this path no matter how hard it is I reckon.

Have a good weekend 🙂