Hi michael
Congrats on your 196 days an amazing achievement but i would remain on my guard.
Day 197
Thanks Imran ... Edging closer. Expecting a letter from the bank in the next few days, praying for the expected good news. Should be an immense weight of my shoulders.
Day 198
And the mortgage letter has arrived, and it's the expected good news. I've been walking a financial knife edge now for 18 months, and making very small in-roads. However, this news is a massive massive step towards financial safety. Huge relief, but cannot get complacent.
Day 201
200 days has come and gone. Didn't give it much of a second thought to be honest. Next target, 212 days, which is my previous 'record'. Should just about make it before the world ends on the 21st (phew!).
Day 204
Continuing to work hard, but starting to tire of this 'money' thing - with a path out of this mess, I'm starting to think of other areas of my life that I've neglected, not just in the past 4 years, but in the last 10, even 20 years. Social life has withered to a virtual 0, missed out on loads of stuff with the kids (although I've always been there for them), any career progression has withered as well. I've spent my time procrastinating, and thinking of the future too much, never living for today, worrying far too much about tommorrow. But every few months or so, enter a period of real clarity which generally last for a few days, before I sink back into the workaholic, 100mph, lifestyle. I can never figure out why I do it, and as soon as I get these moments of clarity, where ego is set aside, and I see clearly what is important, my mind becomes clouded with negativity, and I quickly revert back to my old ways- gambling being the extreme form of this neurosis.
Perhaps with money worries gradually subsiding, then other areas of my life will become clearer.
Day 208
Almost up to the 212 day target. Approaching new ground. Have I finally managed to defeat my demons ? I hope so. 2013 is building itself up to be an awfully challenging year, both at home, and at work, but with these challenges, I can feel nothing but an overwhelming sense of that opportunities will present themselves. With a mind starting to clear of the financial burden, 2013 is the year when for the 1st time in a long time I find myself in the right frame of mind to exploit these chances. For god's sake, if I can achieve what I've achieved during the last 18months, then there is no reason on earth why I cannot do this.
Day 209
Edging forward towards the 212 mark, which will be the longest gamble free period, definitely in the last 18 months, and most probably in the last 4 years.
Hi Michael well done 211 days bet free is a great achievement a day at a time and 212 mark 2mara.
Keep up the gud work and 2013 can be a gud year 4 u a day at a time
take care
Day 215
I'm onto to my longest gamble-free streak, definately in the last 18 months, and most probably in the last 4years or so, since that fateful day when I was hooked following a big win off a £20 stake. 4 and a bit years on, at least £80K, put probably pushing £100K down, I'm still here fighting. But, finances looking up, Christmas presents are in, I can relax a bit and spend a wonderful Xmas with my wife and kids.
Day 223
Xmas now over, thinking about 2013. After 4 tough years, I'm looking forward to turning over a new leaf, leaving gambling in the past.
Day 230
The madness of Xmas over now, starting to focus on the year ahead. I have a good feeling about 2013. Need to keep on top of things, and not get bogged down.
Day 231
Hugely productive day at work today. Feeling awake and alert. Need to focus on the right balance between remaining productive, whilst not running myself into the ground.
Day 233
Still feeling good. Mind you, for a fleeting moment last night, I had a gambling thought, so need to be careful.
Day 236
No long rambling posts these days, just keeping the diary going. All is good, and as normal as possible. Just over 4 years ago, 'normal' to me was, boring and predictable. But, it's taken me 4 years to realise that 'normal' is the best place to be.
Day 237
Whooahhh ! Close shave, but I couldn't bring myself to deposit any money. What am I doing ? Frustration, tiredness, bored, mind starting to wander again, and a thought pops in. Lucky, because I had to go out of the house to do something, so it came to nothing. But convinced myself that, even if I did win something, it would pale into insignificance against what I owe anyway, so at best, I'd win an insignificant amount risking all of the hard work I've put in. Need to get a grip.
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