Hi guys,
First of all, I apologise in advance if I upset anyone with my post. I am just going to let it all out there and say it exactly how it is.
The situation is I am nearly 900 days since my last bet. I was a problem gambler for 30 years prior to that. During that 30 years I had many unsuccessful attempts at stopping gambling. I've been to Gamblers Anonymous, had councilling with GamCare and had hypnotherapy sessions using an app.
Right now, I have been flirting with the idea of returning to gambling. It all started when I saw this man on youtube (yes I know, crazy right)...but since I stopped gambling my health has improved so much. I've dropped 3 stone, I eat loads of fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds, legumes mainly and feel great for it.. So I watched his video on health and he says that he makes money from sports betting - BOOM - that's triggered me straight away. He makes money, why can't I? But I ignored it. A few weeks later I watched another one of his videos and he gave a slight hint of his gambling secrets - BOOM - gambling triggers are back. So I'm looking into that system and thinking, yeah, that could work and I'm like, yeah - I might bet again.
I had a few mental bets and they all lost! Great - nice escape. However, something was triggered in me.
I've then spent the last month or two having near misses, trying to work out a system that will make me money.
So, here I am, I devised a spreadsheet that calculates probabilities. I've tested it out, mixed results, then I started paper bets - just writing what I would have bet on. Unluckily for me - they all won. OK, one was a 88th minute winner but still it won. Part of me thinks if I had the bet then I would have been under loads of stress waiting for that winner. I was kind of hoping it lost. But gambling messes with your head right?
So I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think about is gambling. Should I bet today? I check the system and it's picked out several bets.
Now, I'm at a crossroads. I don't know where to turn. In truth, I think I'm a bit of a failure. I don't like office work, my business has no drive (from me), I just can't see me having financial success. My life is great, don't get me wrong. Great kids, good health, pretty good mind, no other addictions like drugs or drink. I just haven't given up the idea of making money from gambling. Yes it sucks.
So where now? Do I go with this system? Do I run a mile? Do I tell my wife? I hate this.
In all honesty, it comes across like you are desperate for somebody to tell you to gamble. It's only a matter of time unfortunately. Such a waste, I'd love to be 900 days GF, debts would be looking so much better.
All I'll say is, imagine how low you'll feel, day 0, bets lost, system doesn't work.
1. Start gambling again and destroy your life, then have to rebuild again.
2. Or keep going with what you've achieved so far. Appreciate what you've got. Unfortunately money doesn't come easy. Life sometimes is mundane but gambling isn't the answer to that.
Deep down you already know what the answer is. I'd find another health advisor on Utube if I were you.
All the best.
Hi, sorry no softly softly with this one, just think back to how you felt when you first decided to stop, the impact it had on not just you but your family and how hard it was stop. The only winners are owners, the people who earn a living through gambling are few, hence the reason we are all on here. Hope you make the right decision not just for you but your family x
Doesn't matter which way you write it, you know the answer. Tell your wife, get back to counselling, go to GA, do whatever you need to do to get past this insanity! People don't 'blip' @ this stage of recovery, relapses are long drawn out processes that never end well once you persuade yourself it could be different this time...It won't be! You're not a failure, don't give in to addiction telling you that & don't give in to the nonsense that you can get financial stability from risking what money you do have being it haphazardly or otherwise. Post here, stay here, avoid your triggers & for goodness sake, throw away those spreadsheets! It doesn't matter that you don't drink or don't smoke, that counts for nothing, least of all justification for a breakout.
Don't think about forever, concentrate on today - ODAAT
brandon wrote:
In all honesty, it comes across like you are desperate for somebody to tell you to gamble. It's only a matter of time unfortunately. Such a waste, I'd love to be 900 days GF, debts would be looking so much better.
All I'll say is, imagine how low you'll feel, day 0, bets lost, system doesn't work.
Thanks for the response Brandon. My advice to you is never get compacent ever. At 800 days, 8 days, 8000 days. It destroyed me. I'm faffing about because deep down, after 30 years of gambling I know it's a bunch of garbage. Of course part of me wants to gamble but there is another part of me that doesn't want to gamble.
Me getting compacent has caused this. I'm to blame.
Tom_2015 wrote:
1. Start gambling again and destroy your life, then have to rebuild again.
2. Or keep going with what you've achieved so far. Appreciate what you've got. Unfortunately money doesn't come easy. Life sometimes is mundane but gambling isn't the answer to that.
Deep down you already know what the answer is. I'd find another health advisor on Utube if I were you.
All the best.
Good advice Tom. I am grateful of your response.
Anon100 wrote:
Hi, sorry no softly softly with this one, just think back to how you felt when you first decided to stop, the impact it had on not just you but your family and how hard it was stop. The only winners are owners, the people who earn a living through gambling are few, hence the reason we are all on here. Hope you make the right decision not just for you but your family x
Thanks for the response. I decided to stop because I was haemoriging money. I was losing nearly every single bet I placed. I put my last bet on £100 and knew it would lose. I said to myself that if it lost, that was it. I'd bet no more. I had reached the stage where I'd been beaten up too much. 30 years is too much a time to get beaten up.
ODAAT wrote:
Doesn't matter which way you write it, you know the answer. Tell your wife, get back to counselling, go to GA, do whatever you need to do to get past this insanity! People don't 'blip' @ this stage of recovery, relapses are long drawn out processes that never end well once you persuade yourself it could be different this time...It won't be! You're not a failure, don't give in to addiction telling you that & don't give in to the nonsense that you can get financial stability from risking what money you do have being it haphazardly or otherwise. Post here, stay here, avoid your triggers & for goodness sake, throw away those spreadsheets! It doesn't matter that you don't drink or don't smoke, that counts for nothing, least of all justification for a breakout.
Don't think about forever, concentrate on today - ODAAT
Thanks ODAAT,
You have read my brain. The gambling devil is saying, it could be different this time. I could make money from it. My sensible side is saying the opposite.
Come on, don't gamble. So many people on here (including myself) are looking at you, hoping you do the right thing. People on day 1, day 2, they're just gonna think it's impossible, if you're caving at 900 days.
brandon wrote:
Come on, don't gamble. So many people on here (including myself) are looking at you, hoping you do the right thing. People on day 1, day 2, they're just gonna think it's impossible, if you're caving at 900 days.
Mate, if I can do 800 plus days, anyone can. I promise you. 8 days was a miracle before I stopped. I sincerely hope I can get over this absolute pain in the (you know what) stage. I'm glad I posted and glad you responded. I'm also glad I read all the people suffering at this absolute hideous addiction. I wish them all to be gambling free. I have to stay off it!
Hi there. Did you have a diary in the past here? Do you think it would be helpful to start a new one?
Most of us have been there, the stage where you think 'I'm cured!'. Please don't go back. Keep posting and let's keep marching!
All good Tulsi?
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