D70 my Recovery Journey

Well Congrats on day 8 and yeah thats a lot of cash lost. Guess ya can't dwell on it cause yeah it will eat ya up inside. I lost thousands too and chasing it just ended up to be thousands more over the years. Guess we got a choice not to compound the damage any more.

Cheers mate, your right just got to forget about it done now, cant change the past but I can the future.

Hi all, I have not been on for a couple of days but all is well and I am still clean no urges or even thoughts to gamble, day 11 and counting. Thanks

Hi d70

Had a read thro your diary, well done for seeking help it's always the first and most difficult step.

As for finances/debts gamcare have a debt advice line. The number can be found on the home page or via a link on the left

Hi D70,

I just wanted to say well done on your progress so far, was wondering what barriers if any you have put in place to help you?

Also I would visit the Stepchange website for some advice about your debts.

Mark

Hi shellyb and sonicboom, thanks for posting and the advice, I will look into both of these as all advice and help is much appreciated, I haven't done anything with my cards debts yet as I am going to wait to see what is the best thing for myself to do. As far as barriers I have a blocker on my laptop and this is excellent as its stopping me even thinking about gambling now, I am avoiding betting shops and only taking small amount of money with me for everyday stuff.

Day 12 clean.

Well ive made it to day 14 without gambling, cant wait to make it a month, feeling stronger by the day.

Day 17 clean, the last couple of days I have been feeling angry with myself, the thought of having to pay all this debt off is starting to get me down, but I no it has to be done, and I have to accept it, feel like crying tonight, what an idiot I have been. I realise money doesn't make you happy, and I will have quite a good life, I cant go on an expensive holiday or buy a new car but one day I can. I have totally forgot I have not had a bet in 17 days and I should be pleased with myself, but the debt and the stupidity of gambling in the first place is all I can think of at present.

Day 19 without having a bet, feel more positive now as I have a loan sorted for my debts that I think is reasonable and I can live with, its over 7 years, its a long time but I am happier knowing its getting paid off, but more importantly the madness of gambling is over, all the ups and downs of my moods and trapped in my own crazy world have stopped and I feel quite calm lately, without any worries.

Day 23 clean, I am not far off the one month mark and I should be happy, but I have had a kick up the backside this weekend and its scary how easy it is to fall back into gambling. This isn't easy keeping away from having a bet, last Saturday was the hardest yet, don't know if it was because England were playing or because everywhere I looked there was some form off gambling dangling its dirty carrot, every advert, paper, or on Facebook people posting what they are betting on. I really fancied a bet on something and I felt like I was been boring and something was missing because I wasn't gambling, all night I kept thinking should I go to the Casio, but I just thought no don't do it, you are in enough debt and I cant win because I cant stop, and there will only be one winner and its not me. Thanks D.

Hi D70

But it is you today you have won because you have not been sucked in very very well done

You are a winner today and 23 days clean

no one will ever reach the moon as a CG but we can try for each star one day at a time and win and you Are doing it

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne, thanks for posting it means a lot. I am on Day 28 and nearly a month clean from gambling. This week I have been reflecting a lot and just feel I have wasted so much of my life through gambling, I try to say to myself its in the past but it is hard accepting how silly we have been. Thanks D.

Hi D70

Four weeks without spending any money on gambling that is great

It is hard accepting what we have done it keeps flashing back but it will ease as we continue to abstain and stay strong

I think now that was a very hard lesson to learn but I am learning more each day and do will you

One day at a time making the right choice you will move upwards and forwards

Suzanne x

Hi Suzanne, yes I am learning each day I don't gamble and it makes me realise what a pointless pathetic addiction it is. This week I have been feeling a lot more positive and have not thought about the debt, maybe the gym is helping clear my head and given me happy endorphins which are FREE.

Well day 35 clean, 5 weeks and now well over a month. Thanks D.

Hi D

GAMBLING IS A WASTE OF OUR LIVES so I simply say to you why do it well you are not 35 days is definitely a credit to you well done and one day at a time you will learn more each day and that is so positive

Keep strong and positive

Suzanne xx