This weekend I've gambled away nearly £400 in total on sports betting and FOBT's.
It's money that has come from my savings of which I have very little left. So I'm lucky that I'm in no debt or owe anybody any money etc.
However, I feel like that would be my next step if I don't get a grip of my addiction.Â
I've gambled on/off since I was 18, so nearly 20 years of my life. At no point in my life have I ever felt in any kind of control with my gambling. In the same way that a normal person would be able to gamble responsibly.Â
More important than the money I've lost is the time I've wasted on this addiction. Eventually that money I've lost will return if I keep on top of my addiction but the thing that won't ever return is the time lost.
This evening at 17:43 is the last time I ever want to bet a penny on anything.Â
I have all the online blocks in place that are available and in time I intend on telling a couple of close friends about my addiction. I need somebody to be accountable for.Â
This is it.Â
My last attempt at stopping was around about 5 years ago. I did manage to go a few years without having a bet but as soon as the Gamstop ban was available to lift, I fell back into the trap. Then when I re-signed back up to Gamstop, I took to the shops and FOBT's.
Not anymore, it's time I took my life back once and for all and started living again. The last time I felt like I was truly living was when I was 18.
Over the next few days I'll be setting myself some short and long term goals to give me something to focus on.
Here we go.... my new life starts now.
Day 1
No major urges to gamble today. Other than a very fleeting thought on my drive home from work. But it was fleeting. As quickly as I imagined putting the bet on, I remembered how I felt 24 hours earlier and that I must start making things right again. I imagine the first few weeks will be tough as I try to change my habits.Â
I came home from work and decided to put my Christmas tree and some decorations up. Christmas is the time of the year that I love the most and I am determined to enter the festive period with the mindset of being over a month gamble free and in a much happier and calmer headspace.
A quick word of caution the first few weeks are the easy part theres a lot of motivation to change and usually people are too skint to be gambling
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The real tests will begin around the 6-8 week markÂ
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