DaveUK - New Diary

Winning every day now !

It's been a couple of months since I added to my diary so I thought I would record some thoughts.

Despite knowing I will lose overall I have been tempted by the roulette machines.

Thankfully with the self-exclusion in place it has made life easier. I feel fortunate that no other forms of gambling interested me (including roulette online) so as long as I keep of the machine its problem solved.

The exclusion has been in place 14 months and will last for 5 years at which point I have to opt back in if I wish to go in the bookies. No intention of doing that !!

I am still saving £20 a week towards what I lost.

What I really like about self-exclusion is it helps with the 'in the moment' temptations.

It is scientifically proved the tempation only lasts 15 minutes then wears off as you start to think about other things.

I just seem to spend nothing now I don't play the roulette machines.

Dave,

I couldn't agree more. I cannot believe how long I lived in an overdraft for. Without roulette my debts continue to vanish at a faster rate than ever imagined. I cannot believe that I used to plough hundreds of pounds into these machines. That seems so alien to me now and I am only four months clean. It makes me sad now when I drive by a bookies and see someone sitting at the machines.

Good to read you are doing well and seeing the benefits of not gambling.

Tomso.

Roulette machines very much a thing of the past. Have noticed when wandering past bookies the machines often stand empty so lets hope people are realising just what a waste of effort they are.

Popped to town earlier to get some milk and had a smile to myself as those little visits used to turn out expensive. In all honesty I rely on self-exclusion to see me through but if thats the answer I am happy with that.

I am not sure I will ever be able to totally reply on willpower so am grateful for the self-exclusion option. Highly recommend it !!

Time for reflection and an update!

I have not played the roulette machine for months. This was the only gambling I did (always in bookies and never online) so was the only thing I had to stop.

Without any shadow of a doubt had I not self-excluded from ALL local shops I would have played them again - most probably during the times when I get a little bored during my lunchtime wander or during those moments of weakness and delusion when I think I am going to win.

Given that I self-excluded for 5 years and would have to ask to go back in after this time I am sure I am well protected. It's good really as effectively once you self-exclude you are not allowed back until the time has expired and after this you have to sign to say you want to go in again and even then there is a 24 hour cooling off period.

Of course life is loads better and I am not even sure now why I was bothering to play them in the first place !!

Time to update my diary!

I remain in a much better place than I was and have a good idea of how much I have ever lost over the last 10-12 year and it works out I reckon about £10 a week which is alot of money and needless misery. This works out at about £500-550 a year, £600 tops. I have continued to save £20.00 a week and now have £1800 - the idea being I want to save back the equivalent of my losses and have a target of £6,500 (which is on the the high side).

I am lucky as I earn decent money and have taken absolutely every opportunity to earn more by doing extra things so the losses have never forced anyone to go without - the emotional impact has far outweighed the financial one. This said if I could have it all back I would but its gone for good.

I will never ever be able to control myself if I start to play the roulette machines and have evidence of this from the relapses I have had. The only way forward for me is to self-exclude which is what I have recently done from a new shop which popped up in the city centre. Dabbling (5-6 visit)cost me £240 so no disaster but enough is enough and the 5 year self-exclusion is now in place. If any new ones appear I must just exclude pro-actively and not react after any sort of loss.

Overall the future is rosy but without any doubt had I not have kept a tight check on things I could have easily lost everything because the FOBT’s are designed to do that, take everything - your savings, your house, your family and your dignity.

I am going to try and post in my diary a little more regularly but without becoming obsessive.

Just topped up the photo's in my wallet - hopefully won't need them but will be ready if any new shops open up as can just self-exclude.

Have read all my previous diary posts today and was surprised I started writing them 6 years ago almost to the day - how time flies!!

Am satisfied that saving back £6,500 will comfortably cover my losses over the last 10 or so years although appreciate it is not replacing the money - that has gone for good. If nothing else will make me feel better as it is quite a challenge saving £20.00 a week and self- sacrifice is my way of putting things right.

Feeling good !!!

I can't believe how stupid I used to be feeding note after note into a machine.

Its so easy to blame all sorts of things but the bottom line is I thought I could win and you just can't.

Hope to try and influence others with the use of understanding and some straight talking to try and get them to stop playing them so at least some good comes out of the wasted time.

Never lost what I couldn't afford and looking back was relatively controlled but always went back eventually,

Been right through my diary tonight - the interaction is soo helpful.

As at March 2012 had recorded that I had lost £3-4k so my recent estimate of losing £6.5k is rather high. Shame I ever lost any really.

May as well still try and save £6.5k and won't be long before I am a third of the way through as the £20 a week I save is now at £1800.

I need to do more to influence others to stop playing those dreadful roulette machines.

Can't believe i used to run to the machines and get agitated if there was not one available.

it like having the death sentence and then running to the gallows - embarrassing !!

Thoroughly enjoyed spending time on the poem I wrote, not because it’s a poem but because I captured all the thoughts that used to run through my head and replayed the stupid things I used to do.

Wish I could do more to influence people to stop playing those dreaded roulette machines but it is so difficult as once you are caught up in them nothing else matters and you are convinced you will win. I kept going back and going back, always the same, play, win, lose have a gap (sometimes for months) then go back again. I am not convinced I would have lost everything as I had a control mechanism built in but it needed to be much tighter. It was not until I finally realised that I could never win that I eventually called it a day - I got a real kick out of self-excluding and it was a major influence in giving up.

Bizarrely I have never been interested in horses or dogs, I love football but never bet on it and have no interest in any form of online gambling, not even roulette - for me it was just the roulette machines in the bookies and I think that’s because they are like fruit machines which again is one of my weaknesses although I have never lost anything much on them and certainly not in comparison to the estimated £5K I lost on roulette over the past 9-10 years. Again rather strangely, I have never ever played the reels or bingo etc on the FOBT, just roulette.

Ah well we are all different and have our strange ways but am glad I saw the light and perhaps can help others do the same.

Can't is such a poor excuse for don't what to!

If you can choose to do something you can choose not to do it.

Am glad I made the right choice eventually.

Thanks Dave for posting on my diary,

I'm also glad we've made the right choice!

I wish you well along this gamble free path you've chosen.

Keep strong!

Irene

x