DaveUK - New Diary

Great attitude Dave. How we cope with our urges may be different for everyone but whatever works. Anything is better than the misery, lies, isolation and deceit that comes with being a gambler.

We just have to find different ways to get that buzz to replace the pathetic short term excitement that gambling gives us. The bad times far far outweigh any good times I ever experienced from gambling. Took me a long time to come to terms with it but I think I'm there now. Best wishes. Have a great week.

G

Thanks Dave for your post....i'm with the debt management folks tomorrow and will post up how it went....

I guess im one of many going through this process..scary but also some sense of relief that this "thing" is now coming to some conclusion.

r and d xx

At the age of 45 the on-off relationship with the machines over the past 8 years is over - we have finally split for good and I have beaten them.

As mentioned before, I was concentrating on trying to rid myself of the urges when instead it was about accepting the urges are always going to be lurking in the background, they may lay dormant for months or years but never go away entirely. The key was being prepared so the urges are managed effectively.

Self-exclusion has been a revelation on a number of levels, from the bungling reaction of the staff when I asked to sign the forms in the shops, to the satisfaction of saying goodbye as I closed the door behind me. Self-exclusion is a huge part of managing the urges as I simply have no access to the machines. There is no way I would humiliate myself by risking going in and being asked to leave.

I don’t mind admitting I got a real buzz from playing the roulette machines, the wins, the near misses, the get out of jail spins etc . I loved the winning runs I sometimes went on where I would accumulate £1,500 plus - but always lost it all, plus a bit more.

I was always hoping to win and add to my savings but whatever I tried be it set numbers, odd numbers, even numbers, red, black, green, small bets, bigger bets - nothing worked and nothing will ever work.

On reflection, considering how I have conducted the rest of my life financially by working and studying really hard to give me a well paid job, taking on extra work when I would rather of had the time doing other things, and generally being ultra thrifty, the overall loss of £4-6K over a 8 year period is minimal - of course I would rather have it but it’s gone for good. The misery and deceit has far outweighed the financial side of things.

I am still saving £20 a week and have almost hit the £2,000 mark. I keep this separate from my other savings as I get a kick out of watching it grow. I will be saving back £6,500 as I want to turn the tables and save more than I lost (as opposed to when I used to lose more than I had won).

Just to add balance, although I did not lose much in the scheme of things I hated losing - hated it. Sometimes I felt sick, sometimes reduced to tears and I will never forget the feeling when I knew I had got to the last spin and would stand up from the chair in anticipation of the loss as the pretend ball spun round.

Nice end to a horrible journey - I HAVE RECOVERED.

Hi Dave

That's a good last post and seems to sum up your progress pretty well.

Not wanting to be a party pooper I wouldn't say " I have recovered " just yet. To be fair your thrifty lifestyle stands you in good stead but as you yourself admitted the temptation is always there. You proved that by saying on here that you dabbled at a couple of new shops in your area until you excluded yourself.

Considering how controlled the rest of your life is I never thought you were ever in real danger of falling into the abyss but I do find it puzzling why you beat yourself up for so long before going down the obvious route of self-exclusion ? As you say a few thousand generally isn't that important in the great scheme of things but it was clearly having a disproportionate effect on you.

By the way I had the opportunity to see the lads at Anfield yesterday. Not gutted that I passed on that one ( lol )

Hi Blacky - hope all is well and thank you for your post - sums things up very well.

Strangely enough I was thinking of you as I wrote the diary entry as I now realise my concerns were very disproportionate to reality - which has been your view for some time.

I also agree I was never in danger of losing too much as my thrifty / controlled nature always kicked in. Even so, I may as well of just self-excluded in the first place and guess I did not want to openly admit how much the losses niggled me, or that I was out of control in any way, shape or form.

Having analysed everything I can now see I was beating myself up far too much (something else I do generally in life) and it was my over the top reaction to losing (often which was only money I had won previously and kept separate to my other finances) which caused a bigger problem than the financial loss itself.

The recovering versus recovered topic is an interesting one and I guess while the urges are there its difficult to class oneself as totally recovered - its probably a mixture of recovering and recovered as I have put things in place to deal with the urges and in all honesty do not get the same buzz from playing anymore as I know how the story always ends.

As for the footy - good decision for you not going. Had the game been earlier in the season the result may have been different. I think teams will stay up with 35-38 points so you are almost there already.

Thanks again for your post and will keep in contact.

Hi Dave

Keep up the good work. As far as urges go, I gave up smoking 13 years ago. Even now I have get an urge but don't act upon it. This greatly helped me in going 2011 gamble free and this I am sure will help me now.

Like yourself with the FOBT'S I have now worked out I will never beat the casino.

SHAUN

Dave,

Your diary is one of the few I have read from start to finish. I found your poem earlier, which is trully fabulous. I relate to a lot of what you say. Roulette rips me apart. I can place controlled bets on football but what is the point because no matter how big a win I may gain I will re-invest the lot and more into the roulette machine. Today, after ten months gamble free I am back to Day 1. I have been on a roulette bender for the best part of the last three weeks but have played since the turn of the year. I read somewhere that you mentioned the thrill of going on a winning streak but then other times you simply cannot buy a win. I experience that all the time. I have had times where I cannot stop winning and then others where no matter what I bet on the opposite come out. I have decided today to get back on the road to recovery and never to play roulette ever again. Your diary fascinates me and some of your posts around the forum are a joy to read.

Tomso.

Next Monday will be 2 years since I did my first 5 year self-exclusion!

I was never a problem gambler but absolutely hate losing so any loss made me sad. I never did huge bets, starting as low as £1-£2 a spin which sounds small but still lost enough to annoy me and cause unnecessary unrest. Chasing is never good!

There are differing views with regards to the effectiveness of self-exclusion - for me its the best thing ever for dealing with temptation. Yes other shops pop up now and again, yes you can drive to the next town but in my case the reality is that I can't be bothered to go looking for other shops as I know I wil always lose.

I exclude from any new shops that open locally usually after a very small dabble - just enough to annoy me !

As mentioned previously in my diary I am trying to save £6.5K back which represents my losses over the past 8-9 years. It's probably only £4-5K but may as well aim high!

Through saving £20 a week since my self-exclusion I have £2080 sitting in an account so am about a third of the way there. Ironically like many on here my original driver was to win money but that never worked out lol. I have always been OK for money as I have a good income and have always planned and saved but have to say since stopping things have never been better not just financially but generally with life.

I glance through the windows as I walk past the bookies sometimes and am pleased to see the machines stand empty alot more these days - maybe the message about them being a complete waste of time is getting out there. I take every opportunity to warn people of the dangers of roulette machines so maybe some good has come out of my stupidity. I am probably being naive but have a feeling the FOBT's are on borrowed time or at least the ability to gamble with such high stakes is.

In summary I know temptation will come my way but also know I will lose so there is no point playing.

Will update my diary now and again - all the best to all.

Going well still - cant believe what I used to do 🙂

Time for an update.

The issue of playing the roulette machines has gone away - self-exclusion has made it easier.

I never had the ambition not to gamble, just not to play the roulette machines and had 4/5 weeks doing a very small amount of online live roulette and although no real damage was done (prob lost about £250 in total) I decided to close the account and self-exclude as was getting fed up when I lost (however small the loss).

Which ever way we try it always ends in a loss and always will - why? because enough is never enough !

Overall things are very good - I am just too much of a miser to have ever lost too much and am just a bad loser which in this instance is a good thing 🙂

Good luck mate keep away the are rigged!

Scottyboy

Cheers scottyboy - yes will keep away and do sometimes wonder if there is some rigging behind the scenes.

Was broswing the site and realised I started my diary 3 years ago to the day!

Strangely having self-excluded I don't give the FOBT's another thought. I can't remember the last time I played roulette in the bookies and have no desire to ever play again. I am a million miles from where I was and can't believe what I used to do.

As for the online dabbling it stopped as quickly as it started.

Some good has come of this all as I often warn others of the dangers of gambling, particulalry FOBT's - probably makes no difference but at least I can try.

For anyone reading you can't and won't win in the long term - There is no system, no strategy - you simply can't beat the bookie !!

I have read right through my diary given it was 3 years old yesterday.

Self-exclusion has made the difference as it took away the opportunity to go into the bookies and play those dreaded machines.

I would still be playing them if I had not self-excluded - I enjoy the buzz of the near miss, lucky win when all looks lost and accumulation of temporary winnings - but I hate losing so there is no point me going near those roulette machines!

I am now absolutely convinced you can never ever win in the long term playing games of chance regardless of whether it is on a machine or real roulette wheel. I suppose at least with the real wheel it is a fair spin whereas on the machines they choose the winning number after you have chosen yours - you have absolutely no chance. Wheel or no wheel you lose in the end.

The problem was not just losing, winning was as bad as it made me go back for more until eventually the odds got the better of me.

I know I must never be off my guard as the temptation will always be there but while I remain self-excluded and have the hatred of losing (however small the loss) I think I will be fine. I am not fussed willpower was not enough and can strongly recommend self-exclusion.

I am now pretty sure in the 10 or so years of playing the roulette machine I lost £4-5K. As promised to myself I am saving £20 a week not because my losses caused any financial problems at all but because it just feels the right thing to do. My target is set at £6.5K and to-date, my weekly savings account shows £2,300.

I genuinely thank God I didn't end up in a complete mess due to my stupidity and greed. I also thank him for all the opportunities presented to me to earn money over the past 30 years - I have taken every single one. I don't want to trivialise the loss and am simply putting it into perspective.

I won't be posting so much on my diary as there is little else to say - I have wasted far too much time feeding notes into a machine, causing myself unnecessary grief and punishing myself and see little point dwelling on it any further.

For me its problem solved and I have now forgiven myself - I made mistakes, have learned from them and won’t be repeating them.

Thank you to everyone who has helped me - you know who you are!

Dave

‘I can never play the roulette machine again as I cannot stop’.

Not added to my diary for 3 months so thought I would add a couple of thoughts.

The roulette machines remain no part of my life and don't even give them a thought when I am out these days. I know if I started I would maybe win a bit but that inevitable loss would come sooner or later.

I guess as time goes on the impact of my £4-£5K loss in about 10 years becomes less and less. Suppose it work out at £500 a year whilst I was playing the machines or £10 a week. The lost time and anguish far outweigh the financial loss although would love the losses back - but they have gone.

My thrifty nature coupled with self-exclusion helped big time and I now realise I didn't have a massive problem but an irritation that I eventually resolved.

So glad I did!