DaveUK - New Diary

Dave,Actually that isn't a horrible thing to say,it's just an honest and no doubt accurate observation,it's important though to realise that these old blokes have (more than likely) just punted away on the horses or greyhounds for many years,........i can say with utmost certainty that no one who is addicted to the FOBT machines will ever survive them long enough to ever become like those blokes,those machines spit you out in double quick time:).

Seano.

PS,i started a thread on the "overcoming problem gambling " part of the forum about FOBT's,have a read,todays post is harrowing mate.

Thanks Seano - I have just read the update on your thread - its just so sad.

There would have been a time when I would think that could never happen to me but you know what, carry on dabbling and it could.

I don't want this to come out wrong but at the moment I have a lovely family, house, car, some decent savings and a good job but can now see that the roulette machine could easily take all these things away and it would not take that long!

I have admitted defeat in trying to win money.

Dave,in my case i gambled for 30 years,always Horses (i have had shares in racehorses) or Greyhounds (have owned many over the years),and it was the betting exchanges that proved my ultimate undoing,betting vast sums on a daily basis that led me to bankruptcy,and my story is not unusual within this forum:),houses gone,nice cars gone,i still have the love and support of my wife and children (and grand children), and for that i am truly thankful,.....you don't need gambling in your life Dave,trust me on that one:).

Seano.

4 days released from gambling.

I must never play the FOBT's again. No win would ever be big enough.

Would love to know how much I have lost in the last 10 years. I estimate about 2K as usually tend to stop once all winnings (temporary winnings) lost!

It was really useful to look back on my previous diaries this morning as this has reminded me how long I have been playing roulette machines, winning then of course losing it all plus more besides.

What is noticeable is nothing changes in that I always promise to stop but start up again and repeat the cycle. This has been happening on and off since about 2004 possibly a little longer and the only saving grace is the big, big losses are returning the winnings but of course all the 'little bits on top' that I lost all add up.

I really do think this is my last chance so I need to stop being so pathetically weak willed, grow up, get my head out of my backside and stop being such a mug.

Day 5 and counting since I released myself from the burden of roulette machines.

Day 6 of being released from roulette machines!

Feeling a bit down today as the reality of last week hits home - pure stupidity what I did. I must not lose sight that a majoroty of what I have lost over the years is previous winnings although appreciate overall I am well in deficit.

Kind of accepting what has gone has gone.

Interesting how we can give up after a loss but not give up after a win!

If nothing else I feel in more control since the loss - when I was in the midst of playing all I was worried about was when I would next play and how much I could win.

Also amazed at how the roulette machine changed my personality. For years (ever even) I have been one of the thriftiest people around and would walk a mile to save 50p but would think nothing of feeding £20 after £20 into a machine of using my debit card to top up the credit for a couple of hundred pound (several times).

Only yesterday I went to buy some wrapping paper for my wifes birthday present and winced as it was 59p a sheet and spent time looking round for cheaper and ended up getting it for 35p - mean as it sounds that is typical of how I usually am.

just read your diary. anything we do with our money is better than feeding fobts. any spare money i have am going to treat myself or friends/family as a reward. i wish fobts were banned but with more people stopping than new people playing the bookmakers will realise the money tree will run out of leaves. wish you the best we can do it

Hi Dave, thanks for your post. It was really appreciated. Funnily enough on your first post, there is a link to a web page which I read just after losing 1k in the space of 1 hour. I found it really useful in my recovery. Maybe you could sit and read it again. From reading your diary you seem to be in a never ending cycle of gamble regret gamble regret. It's difficult telling somebody that they have to stop. Only you can do this. I went through stages of losing, then stopping...only to forget the pain and starting again. Visualise yourself losing on those machines....picture yourself all curled up wanting to scream and cry. Picture the hurt on your wife and childrens faces. Visualise smashing those horrid machines up with a sledgehammer. When I drive past the bookies now I look in. I usually see one or two poor souls in there sat playing the machines in a zombie like state. Don't be that person anymore Dave. Make a change for the better. You and only you can do this. Russ

Thanks Russ and IE....really appreciate your support.

Well - I have reached a week since my last bout of irresponsibility which feels nice. I hate that feeling just after a loss and will the time on so it seems as distant as possible.

I have worked out that overall loss from the 2 week return to playing the roulette machine gave me a net loss of £185 so had I have stuck to my original commitment in September I would be £185 better off and much, much happier.

I have heard several people call FOBT's the *** C*****e of gambling and it seems this is not far off the mark. It appears that gambling euphoria is related with endorphin release in the brain and withdrawal symptoms associated with the cessation of gambling arise from the accompanying endorphin deficiency. I guess the bookies know this and rely on it - I am now appreciating even more that I need to keep on the straight and narrow and although I would never want to excuse myself do appreciate I have fallen victim to those who knowingly exploit natural human weakness.

Just spent an hour going through all my posts from the past and for goodness sake I am like a stuck record!

Even saying I am like a stuck record is just repeating what I have implied before in previous posts and diaries.

Time and time again I say I will stop, call myself stupid etc, justify the loss (even if small) and then just drift back.

Kim posted on one of my diaries 'nothing changes if nothing changes' and to be honest nothing has changed. I have had a loss, abstained a week and what next........

I accept I am addicted even though I have had great periods of not playing and accept I need a different strategy.

I so want this week to turn into a year, 10 years and then forever and although playing roulette is the last thing on my mind I don't see I am in any different postition to when I made failed promises time and time again in the past.

I need to think of more to help me as willpower alone has not worked previously!!

Been doing some research today and am starting to gain an insight into the brain works and I have no doubt the people responsible for designing the roulette machines know just what to do to extract as much cash as possible - even though they know they are taking advantage of the vunerable.

It helps to explain why this is so hard to beat (but is not an excuse).

Will do some reserach on 'Endorphin' and '

Dopamine' .

Hi Dave

I'm sorry to hear of your most recent ' slip ' and I've read all your subsequent posts. Your story seems remarkably similar to mine although the sums of money involved are probably not.

I'd like to honest with you on here so please don't take what I'm about to say as just encouraging you to gamble. It's not but I'm simply trying to look at both your situation and my own from a slightly different perspective.

You say that you have always liked to gamble from an early age. Same here. I spent most of my spare childhood money on fruit machines and the like. I did have a period when horses and dogs attracted me but that phase has largely passed. Like you I've played FOBT's from soon after their inception but, unlike you, also roulette and fruit machines on-line. Like you I have a settled life with house, car and money in the bank.

I can hardly hazard a guess as to how much I have spent gambling during my life but it must be around £40/50K in just under 40 years. Sure that's one hell of a lot of money whichever way you try to justify it but I have only ever gambled with money I could afford. I've never got into any debt over it.

In your posts since your last dabble you've mentioned that you estimate you've lost around £2,000 in ten years. Yes, that's £2,000 you could have spent on other things, but, for a 43 year old that's not too much in the great scheme of things. To illustrate as a comparison I lost £1000 in one hour on on-line roulette last night which had built up from an original stake of £300 paid into my account a couple of weeks ago. Stupid, yes, but it was money I could afford.

You also say that you were in control of your gambling earlier in life which you've conclusively backed up on here by the admission that you have a nice house, car, decent savings and a good job. Over the years you and I probably wouldn't have held on to these things if we didn't have the personality to stop at a point each time where no real lasting damage has been done.

I'm not for one minute trying to make light of the dangers of gambling, particularly FOBT and on-line, but could it be that, like me, you are one of life's ' cautious ' gamblers who perhaps are addicted but are unlikely to come to serious financial harm because of it ?

As I said earlier please don't take this as an encouragement to gamble but are you beating yourself up unnecessarily every time you do so ? True, FOBT's and on-line accounts are best avoided for safety's sake - pot, kettle, black talking now - but from what you've told us on here about your life I honestly don't think you've too much to worry about.

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on my perception of your situation and yours on mine.

Hi blackjack and thanks for taking the time to post in such an honest manner.

Our situations are similar and both seem to have an ability to stop once we have lost - but no stop for good.

The fact we have homes and savings etc demonstrate restraint but my concern would be that slowly we are chipping away and before we know it we will be in a much worse position. I would imagine there are several people who had homes and savings and thought they always would but once gambling got hold of them they ended up losing the lot.

I take the point that 2K - 2.5K over in total at the age of 43 is no disaster but I don't half wish I still had it and its not just the money - I feel as if the bookies are taking the mickey out of the likes of us.

My assessment of our situations - I will honestly say that compared to some people its no disaster but I think neither should continue gambling as its tempting fate and I would hate to be in a position where we have lost everything.

I really appreciate your post blackjack - what do you reckon to my assessment?

Dave

On rolls another day - generally feeling a bit down today. I think its a combination of the fall out of the gambling and hastle of Christmas (which gets on my nerves).

Will post later.

Yes, we all have our down days.

I am only a few days away from clearing my credit card debt but I don't feel ecstatic at all. It's more to do with the fact that I really am beginning to realise how much of my life has been wasted in the past 30 years.

But let's get Christmas out of the way, let's not throw any money away to those evil gambling bosses in the next two weeks and we can all really look forward to a prosperous 2011!

GT