DAY AT A TIME

Another councillor session done.... Getting there day by day.

59 days and counting. Gambling took a lot off the small things away from my life. Things I'm starting to notice now I'm not gambling. I'm just so afraid because everything is going so well at the moment... I'm afraid I'm going to hit a speed bump or something very soon.

Keep it up , and remember , dont think ahead , just for today do not gamble, worrying about tomorrow will just ruin today. I struggle with it as well mate, 59 days is fantastic.

Remember " we cannot win as we cannot stop" no matter how big that dream win is its only stake money

Very well said... But I'm trying my best to get my debts paid but it feels like it's going to take me FOREVER. I think about this every single day.

I just finished my last councillor session tonight and she thinks I'm ready and I came so far. I really just hope I don't let everyone down again.

Hi all I've had a really bad few days. I was so close to gambling again...so close. Everything has just been getting on top of me and everything seems like it's never going to change. Can someone please give me some advice.........

Hi tommy . We all go through those days where it feels like you’re “ Wading through treacle “ but it’s just a question of pushing on until the going gets easier . Things will get you down at times and the only difference now is that you don’t have your gambling crutch to support yourself with but honestly mate it’s just your mind messing with you and you will get through this on the same way you got through yesterday and the day before . Urges will come and they will pass the longer you remain gamble free and it will get easier I promise . If you gamble again and give in what’s going to happen? Do you think things will be better this time ? Just one more winning bet will make your life wonderful again ? . We’ve all been there mate and it doesn’t happen for us does it ? We can’t control it and even one winning bet would cause the whole cycle to begin again only much worse this time . Stick with the plan tommy you’re doing great and time is a major part of the key . Now tell those thoughts to eff off and keep focusing on the way you want your life to be 🙂 . All the best Bud 🙂

Hi I nearly let myself down...for a week I was checking results of horse racing and doing bets in my head to see if o would win or not. Is this normally a thing that would happen....I'm going to stop it as I scared myself. I know I don't want to gamble again so I don't even know why I did this.

Hi iv not been on for awhile as the site has been down. Iv been 109 days gf now and it's not been easy I can tell you. My girlfriend has not been helping matters. Iv just came on for a chat and I feeling like I'm going to break.

I just can't cope anymore...My girlfriend has just accused me off gambling after all the hard work in put in. Iv nearly all my debts paid. I think she always has to be in control and she can't address her own problems as she always pointing out mine. I really used to think it was me ruining our relationship.

Alright Tommy deep breath mate ! .

Whatever's happening with your relationship with your girlfriend breaking down now and chucking it all in for a punt is not going to improve thing's is it ? . 109 day's of wading through treacle will have all been for nothing and that's not what you need right now .

Your girlfriend's trust will not return just because youv'e not had a bet for 3 months , that time period to you and I is huge but to someone who's not a compulsive gambler it's just a moment in time .

I don't obviously know the in's and out's of you relationship but if that's causing you to look to gambling as an escape then you need to look at if you want to continue the way you are or if you can sort thing's out ? .

There's alway's going to be issues in life that make you want to feel you want to run away and hide or gamble in order to sooth your pain but we both know that's just a quick fix mate .

I'm just at work at the mo but I'll talk to you later if you need to vent .

Just don't over react to your current situation and all will be well :))

Speak soon buddy .

Alan

Tommy is your girlfriend seeking help for herself? Unfortunately when we first find out we don't understand what a compulsive gambler is. We don't know what to do. We're angry, distrustful. We think every missing penny or strange mood is due to gambling. We scream and shout, blame the gambler for all our problems. We have to realise that we have a problem too. We need to change our behaviour. But.... you have to acknowledge what affect your behaviour has on us. It's very traumatic, scary, at times we question our own sanity. Should we stay or go? We're consumed by fear. We're worried about the future, what people think, what if you go back to it? It takes a really long time to learn that we have to change ourselves. Most partners don't even seek help. I think the best way is to accept the damage your gambling has done to both of you. I wouldn't be married if I hadn't gone to a gamanon meeting. We learn how to change, not react, don't interrogate, look after ourselves and live one day at a time. We work the 12 steps too so you recover together. Whether you agree or not, it's a much calmer way to live.

No she is not and yes she shouts at my everyday. She has a lot of family problems and they all get taking out on me and it's our relationship that suffers. I'm living each day as I can but I don't think she will ever understand. It's always about her. Since I confessed my problem she has not even taking the time to research gambling addiction and how it works so I'm starting to feel like how can she sit there and judge me when she can't even take afew hour's to read up on it. Sometimes it just gets me thinking and I feel so alone. That's why I'm so glad this site is up and running. Afew weeks ago I was checking results of horse racing but it only lasted a day or two. Do you ever think she will ever understand?

I really don't want to gamble again but sometimes it gets so hard

I think it's really tough to stop when you see little change. But remember gambling brought nothing but trouble. Can you find a meeting then you wouldn't feel so alone? No one is the same so I cannot say whether she will understand. You have to find a new way to cope with your free time and stressful times. Learn to enjoy things without betting on them. Horse racing to me is all about gambling so best to avoid temptation. Compulsive gambling is an emotional illness. So it's a major part of your coping strategy, but it just leads to more chaos. You can only change yourself and hopefully that will see a different reaction in her. I never understand when people don't want help, I was desperate, I would do anything to change/ improve my life. 2 hours once a week is great therapy for me. One question. Do you understand why you did it? Its a tough one.