DГ©sormais......

Congratulations on 90 mate. Great acheivement. Just like your Spurs you have kept going for the full 90 and got a result. Now its time to start the second leg of the match.

Thanks Juuuuuuuune, Gregg and Suzanne for your supportive posts.

90 days into my recovery and feeling great, despite Saturday's little wobble. Glad I didn't buckle because I know from previous relapses in years gone by that I would have really felt like S***e today. And my mood would have very much been dictated by how my gambling would have panned out, had I done it....

Those feelings are enough to galvanize me and give myself a good slap around the chops, to just remind myself why I am here on this recovery diary forum.

Keep strong all

Ade

Happy 90 my friend!!!!!!!

Huge well done and keep up the good work!

Sx

Good work Ade! Just a quick one as I'm cooking dinner, will give you more suitable plaudits later ;o)

Rach x

....and even happier 91! 🙂
It will turn out nice again my friend cause you're more than worth it!

Ps. How is that email on your desktop? Anything yet? 😉 should sense the trouble coming lol..kidding of course.

Have a lovely and safe day. Enjoy!

Sandra x

Thanks Sandra, Rach and NT for your supportive posts.

Will catch up with your diaries later...

Feeling good and still following that Yellow brick road............

Keep strong all

Ade

Well done on 91 days Ade, and that yellow brick road sure is congested with everyone marching forwards and upwards on it.

Keep strong.

Suzanne xxx

Just read back through some of my diary from a few years back and found this answer to how to stop gambling that I found on another web-site. Quite an interesting answer I thought.....

First of all realize you could hear all the right things, get the best advice possible, have all the help you need, and if you're not 100% truly committed to giving up gambling within yourself there's still a high chance you're going to end up continuing gambling. So the most important thing is that you totally apply yourself mentally to being determined to actually give it up ok. That's imperative.

Now you have to switch off from this impulsive mind with a flurry of thoughts you know like ''if only i did this, if only i bet on them, i was close this time, i used to win i probably just got sloppy, if i study the form etc harder then i'd be winning, i'll train my brain to keep control if i lose then i'll begin to win on average''
Switch straight off from all these thoughts, they are totally irrational, addictive needs outweighing everything else. and it's your mind trying to force yourself to believe that you can almost change the past in the future. There will just be different 'reasons'

You begin to want to stop but you cannot pull out right? because you're down or you just want 1 more go, or whatever.

If you can envision 2-3 years ahead you haven't gave up, you're losing everything you make, you've got nothing left, you feel depressed like you've wasted valuable years of your life, you've let everyone close to you down, you don't feel like you can recover...right then you can cry you can be even suicidal...your ego is crushed.

In your mind right now you think this place owes you money and you want it back.. but somewhere inside you, you know there's a much bigger chance you're going to lose a lot more trying to get it back. It's hard to say it's gone, but it is. Let it go. Don't even think i'll work and now im getting some back. Just let it go. Totally wipe it out. Mistake happened..money gone. Over. Start fresh.

You see you feel weak when you lose, helpless yes. How do you turn a weakness into a positive? overcoming a weakness makes you strong. That will restore your ego. The weakness is not being undisciplined... it's allowing yourself to gamble when you know you're more than likely going to lose. Let me put this scenario you win all your money back...however you try to brainwash yourself into contemplating this scenario, if you win your money back you're not gonna feel strong not 1 bit, you're gonna maybe have 1-2 days where you sorta celebrate think you're done, before you feel weak and like you need to gamble again, and you won before you can win again, and you're ok for money now so if you lose a bit you'll keep your head....trust me 1 week later it'll be all gone again.

If you overcome the weakness that means not gambling getting on with life you will be stronger better and your ego will return to where it should be, and you can look back at this horrible predicament you was in and think im so glad im not there and not going to return.

There is barely anyone out there who actually makes a worthwhile income from gambling, Just bookies & Casino's and maybe a handful of poker players.

Have you ever been losing a lot, say you got 40 a left...you know you're going to lose it 99% and you're already desperate depressed, but you basically throw it away anyway?

It becomes self hating, you almost hate yourself. So you punish yourself, if you had just 10 left at that time, and you could buy McDonald's and you're hungry, but instead you throw it away knowing you weren't going to win and if you did you were going to gamble that anyway(may or may not apply to you this i don't know) But you do begin to punish yourself.

So here you have to look at it, you're a human ok. All humans make mistakes. And a lot of humans suffer at some point in their life with an addiction. You have to forgive yourself. There's a lot of people with gambling problems...you're not here because you're undisciplined you can be as disciplined as you like you're still going to lose, being undisciplined Just means you lose money quicker.

Whatever your issues, personal problems, or confidence issues sort them out in other ways..gambling is not a solution, a cure or a friend..it'll bring you down keep and you down

gambling is the easy option the weak option it makes you weak...but doing the right thing however hard it is, is what makes you stronger. And you know yourself you don't really want to do it, and know it is not going to work out no matter what. Remember don't punish yourself.

Keep strong all

Ade

Hi Ade
Thanks for your post and I seem to see that self esteem/depression may lead to addictive issues. Having read so many diaries it runs through so many but it's the chicken and egg scenario.
Take care
Cheryl xxx

Hi Ade,

Yellow brick road.... 🙂 the only way to go!

Thank you for your post. I am still here on and off. Still holding four corners together 🙂 tomorrow will b challenging day but at least i know that pressure should start easing off after. (Will pray for it 🙂 )

Very well done on your amazing journey! Be proud and keep winning, you and yours are worth it

Sandra x

Thanks for the posts Cheryl and Sandra,

Well that's 3 months of recovery now.

Feel extremely different to how I did back in November.

Have made a lot of subtle changes to my life in those 3 months and still focusing on taking "one day at a time"....

Keep strong all

Ade

Can't even blame my fat fingers for the triple post!

Thanks for letting me know so I could rectify it!

Way to go on 3 months & a game of WWF of winning 🙂 So good to hear you are in a different place now - much more Surrey than London 😉 Keep looking after those Golfballs 🙂

I'm gonna have a break from posting for a while but will be straight back if my resolve even thinks about crumbling!

Stay safe ODAAT - Juuuuuune

Hi Ade

Thanks for the heads up Guvner, everything's good this end, I hope Terry's gonna be ok while Juuuuune's away.......I'm just putting my head down.... whooooo Matron, just like yourself towards treble figures....we're in a good place now Ade there must be no going back from here....have a good day mate...onwards and upwards.....Ginger