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Hi Ade
Well done on 100+ days.
Thanks for posting on my diary and have read your recent entries and you sound content.
Lovely to read and keep it up
Take care and best wishes
Cheryl xx

Hi Ade,

Good to see you in such high spirits! You keep taking it day at a time and keep winning my friend. This is your time to get complete control of your life back.
Very proud of you!!!!

Sandra x

Just popped in to say hi and see ur still at the top of your game. Not on as much myself just checking in daily so i dont get complacent.

Hello Ade,

Sorry to say I missed your joining the 100 club, hope you had a wee drink for those of us who weren't here! 😉

Great work on getting to where you are today, there is nothing wrong with contentment, just as long as you don't drop your guard and let those demons back in to whisper the sweet nothings of a harmless little bet in your ear.

Onwards and upwards indeed,

Ryan

Thanks Cheryl, Sandra, Gregg and Ryan for your supportive posts.

Had a busy weekend tidying up my garden. Nice to get out in the fresh air and do something positive.

Recovery is working for me. I am focused like never before. I know just how valuable this recovery diary section has been to me, but I also feel that my own personal journey is feeling incredibly different to how it was in November, December and January.

The anxiety and urges to gamble have gone. The reasons for gambling destructively have also gone. The clarity of thought that I now have, gives me time to really think things through before making decisions. This applies not only in a gambling type scenario, but just in my general day to day life.

For a lot of my time when I was gambling and immersed in that vicious circle of self denial and self pity. My thought processes were distorted to such a degree that I didn't really give myself a chance at recovering. I kind of hoped that I could stop gambling, but never really had the desire needed to actually do it. The relapses were all part and parcel of my twisted logic at the time. The same twisted logic that would convince me that gambling was a fine fun thing to do, despite all the pain it was doing me.

I think also during my early stages of recovery this time around, I posted so much on my own and others diaries that it reminds me of the frenetic way that I used to gamble. Maybe it's just a compulsive thing I do? I know that in my past I can become obsessed by some things.

Easing off on the posting just feels right for me right now, so please don't be alarmed if you do not here from me for days at a time or even for a week. And there is also no need to warn me of the dangers of complacency, I know people do worry, but I am cool with life at the moment.

Keep strong all

Ade ;0)

Superb post my friend, I know exactly what you mean, I too will just pop my head round the door now and again to keep myself focused ...look after those golf balls Ade, and keep traveling..onwards and upwards..all the very best, Ginger

Thanks for the posts Ginge and NT.

Have found contentment with my life again. Living a full life without the anxiety brought on by gambling.

Am far less analytical now than I once was in recovery. No longer looking for reasons as to why I did what I did. My life now is more about focusing on the present, and the future. And as a consequence of this, I am not needing to post as much on here as a I once did. I still read from time to time, but even that is tapering off slightly.

This forum is a great recovery tool, and one that I have used a fair bit over the last 7 years. My recovery this time is very much the real deal. I have to put this tool down now as I have got myself sorted out and part of my 'new life' is going to mean moving away from this forum. I need to do this as the next chapter in my recovery.

I leave in a much better state than when I returned back in November.

Keep strong all

I will always be eternally grateful for all your support.

Ade.

Ade, ace post my sentiments entirely, I'll raise a glass to you this evening, a big thanks for your help and support, as NT says please pop your head round the door (I'll be doing likewise)....keep traveling onwards and upwards...Ginger.

Ade I am soo very pleased and proud of you for embracing recovery.

Just want to say my friend recovery is a lifetime commitment, we will not be cured, please update occasionally so we can continue to follow your success, it will also remind you that you are in recovery lol.

Take care stay safe and enjoy,

Your friend.

Suzanne xxx

All the best ade. Enjoy this new life of yours. Will miss you on here mate but you need to do what is best for you and you seem in a really good place. Do not think i am strong enough to leave this community yet and my plan all along was to get to the year and see what happens.hope your Spurs can make the top 4 and will raise a corona for you tonight.

Hi Ade
Best wishes for your ongoing recovery and am pleased to read you have found contentment
Take care
Cheryl xxx

Hi you,

Amazing to see you marching on and enjoying all recovery gifts...but...cmon..a little update in your continued success would be a icing on the cake 😉

Stay strong, keep winning, keep living the life you sooo deserve

S x

Thank you NT, Ginge, Suzanne, Gregg, Cheryl and Sandra for your supportive posts. Was nice to log back on and read all those kind words.

As a few of you have asked for an update, I feel like that is the right thing to do.

I have reached 120 days today, which is exactly 4 months without gambling. I still feel as determined as ever not to return to that sad habit. To be honest, the urges have all but gone. And I now realise that it was the anxiety brought on by losing and chasing that was the root of my own personal issue.

I now am fortunate enough to be slowly building up my finances, whilst at the same time enjoying the feelings that I now have without feeling anxious and angry. My time is filled by work and home life. I am living again, rather than existing. It has taken me a long long time to get my head around recovery. For far too long I was looking for reasons as to why I had fell into compulsively gambling away my hard earned money. Now however, I choose not to be quite so reflective and analytical regarding why. Instead I am more embroiled in a feeling of being so glad that I arrested the situation when I did, and now each day I focus on the positive things in my daily life. Looking after my immediate family is priority one. Everything else is sand.

I sincerely hope that each and everyone on this forum can somehow find a way out of the vicious cycle of compulsive gambling. We are all so different, and I truly know that what works for one in terms of recovery, May not always work for another. One thing is for sure though. We all ended up here on this forum. We all got so low that we needed help. Recovery is bespoke. It took me years to find my own personal way of breaking the hold that it had over me. That was mainly achieved thanks to the people on here that took the time to post on my diary and help me. Without that support, I would not be in this great position that I find myself in. I also hope that my posts to others have helped in some way to effect their recovery journeys too.

Having had 10 days away from the forum, I think on reflection leaving was maybe a step too far. I will update occasionally in the future for sure.

Keep strong all

All the best

Ade ;0)

Knew you'd be back 😉

Great post mate & yes, you were indeed instrumental in me finally finding myself!

HD, it sure turned out nice again - Juuuuuune

Welcome back my friend. Good to see you are still going strong.