DГ©sormais......

Thank you The Bear, Joan, Blondie and Gazza for your supportive posts.

Had a far better day yesterday. No gambling or negative thoughts. Kept busy all day - in the garden for most of it. Grass cutting and then scarifying my lawn by hand - bloody hard work.

Then I got the barbeque going for a few sausages and burgers as the sun was out! ;0)

Off work today for a day with my daughters and lots of fun things planned.

The gambling demons are far away at present and I hope that the negative cloud is shifting from me too as well now.

Keep strong all

Ade

Mr. M.w

my friend it reads like a tale from the Augusta national.

The surface is perfection, like a carpet!!

And you know for sure what that means, nothing but clear shots into the hole!! Well in our case jar!!!!

I know there are a few murky ponds out there, on those days fella, concentrate on the short game, just enough to putt through the day.

Through it tomorrow will benefit and one day at a time life will deliver more sun.

Enjoy your time with your daughters today my friend.

The value Priceless!!!!

Duncs stepping forward never back

Thanks for the post Duncs.

Have had a great day today thus far. Played in the garden with my girls and their friend who has visited for the day.

Just got back from a trip to three different parks. Had loads of fun and never really noticed the drop in temperature as we were all to hot from chasing each other about!!

Positivity and getting back to basics are key for me. I know this, and therefore I must keep strong.

Money spent today = £0.00

Fun had = Priceless.....

Ade

Hi MW

Delighted to read that you are doing so well and enjoying life.

Few questions for you which I have asked others before - if your life can be so great without gambling and you can enjoy simple things in life which are free:

(i) what led you to become so involved in gambling to the extent you were ( from the angle that usually gambling fills a void and a need which is not being obtained from ones life otherwise )

(ii) Or are you doing things now which you didnt do before to replace the gap left by Gambling?

(iii) On how many days do you feel an urge now and a lack of buzz which gambling provided?

Thanks for the response and I find it incredibly similar to my history - not going to ask you to trawl through the posts in my diary from way back but very similar for me - the less I played sport the more involved in gambling I became - my spare time and thoughts were all about taking part in competitive sport over 20 years ago. My reduced involvement in sport was at first due to injury, then my enthusiasam reduced, partly due to reduced abilty and injury forcing me to play at a lower level, then I (unfortunately) came to a conclusion I was enjoying the gambling more than the sport! Which I was for a few years and before I starting gambling more and more and larger amounts and widening the net to getting involved in things I never had before......

One more thing - I envy you hating urges - for me after a large collapse I dont get urges for a while then when I do I actually kind of like them as although I know I should ignore them I cant help being relieved that I can participate a bit again.

Thanks for your post(s) Captain.

I did get side-tracked! I have answered the questions on your diary.

Keep strong

MW

Yo,

Hay pal thank you for your post the other day .

We are both worthy , we both want to achieve things in our life , we are both addicts , will it be the thing that most defines us in our life , only if we let it .

Take care Ade , hope you found yourself a new DIY project to keep you busy , stay strong over the weekend mate !

Shiny xxxxx

Hey mate,

Hope this finds you well.

Been looking out for you but it's been a week or so since your last post.

Take care,

gazza

Hi Ade,

I'm hanging around the diaries today and noticed you have not been around in a few days. No pressure friend. Selfishly speaking just missing your posts. Hope all is well with you and your golf balls. 🙂 Always here, always will be. -joanxx

Thanks for the posts guys - much appreciated as normal.

Been in a bit of a rut the last week and have been trying to clear the fog that engulfs me.

Read a few recent posts on a diary recently that didn't really help my mindset and had a break from the forum. Just have to avoid that diary I guess..

Hoping to sort my head out and focus on the future. Which will be whatever I want it to be.... ;0)

MW

Afternoon MW.

Think taking a break from the forum is no bad thing, i know i do from time-to -time.

Same goes for GA meetings. I don't want my life to be taken over with my recovery. I try to make the right choices and blocks are in place.

This recovery is hard going and a bit depressing at times.

We are after all only Human.

Thanks for your supportive post Gazza.

Today I have made progress in my recovery. A first forward step in the last few weeks. I talked to a close friend about my problem, and got a lot of my angst off of my chest.

It was only a brief chat, but it reminded me of my few trips to GA acouple of years back. Just talking for a few minutes helped.

I have been depressed recently, and have only really just allowed myself to believe that this is a real problem. My mental state is not great, and I am fully aware of this.

Gambling binges are again destroying me. I am drowning in self-pity.

I have to get the real me back and gain some true values back in my life.

MW

Yo,

Good morning my dear dear friend .

Just wanted to say , I believe in you . I can see that you are ready to accept that you have a problem .

You are so right , you are making progress .

It's not an easy journey , but you know deep down its one you need to take .

Forgive yourself Hun , draw a line under all the yesterday's and start to move forward .

How do I know all this , cos I have been in exactly the same spot you standing today .

Take care , you know that the good people on this site will support you .

Shiny xxxx

Hi mw,

I can really relate and empathise to how your feeling, it's a horrible place to be but try and remember this, it will get better and you will get stronger , any kind of progress is great, hold on to that and keep going.

You mentioned that it helped speaking to your friend and it took you back to your ga meetings, there is no shame in going back people there like here are fighting the same battles as you, it's good to off load how your feeling , shame and guilt can not survive empathy which is what you will get in abundance at ga, shame and guilt grows with silence.

Keep going mw I also believe in you and you so deserve to be calm and peaceful , let go of the past it will ultimately set you free.

Take care of you

Blondie x

Ade

Fella a massive well done from me for the efforts you are putting in to your recovery, fella I think facing your demon is hard, but from it please take this.

It will not be able to stab you in the back any more, no more running in the wrong direction.

For that be proud, and drive another golf ball straight down it's throat!!!!!!!!!!!

Duncs stepping forward never back.