Determined to keep a diary

Keep going mate, Hope all is well and this week has been a bit easier on you 🙂

Thanks mate. Was just having a down day/week. Still get them now and again when I look back at the last year and see what my life has become. Still, new year soon. New life.

Day 266.

Pay day today. Scary as it means a long wait until next payday. I’ve been overpaying my debts each month apart from the last 2 to make sure I have savings to get me through Xmas and January. I have no concerns that I’ll be skint at any point and can enjoy my time. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t be buying champagne and caviar, but I can enjoy myself without worrying about bills. 

Had to pay for 2 new tyres on my car which didn’t help. Luckily I’m actually quite good with money. Never thought I’d be saying that! 😂. Amazing what a few months of no gambling can do to a person.

3 days left at work then off to spend Xmas with my family. Will be nice to see them. Got presents for the kids sorted and will get some nice wine for the table. Last year of being frugal at Xmas. Next Xmas I’m buying everything for everyone!! Next year I’ll be debt free. Something to look forward too. Then I’m going on holiday. Not sure where or when but I’m doing it. 

Off to sleep. Stay strong 💪 

Day 270. 

Nearing 300. That’s quite a number. Something I never believed could happen. Turns out you just need a huge life changing event to force it 😂. Just kidding. If you own up to things and take ownership, it can be done. Doesn’t need to ruin your life first. 

Got my dog over Xmas and off to stay with family for a few days. Will be good to spend time with them over Xmas. Maybe in a years time I’ll have someone else to share it with. Maybe not. Only time will tell. Plan for next year though is to become debt free, find someone to share my life with, and go on a holiday. Nice to have goals, no matter how far away and unachievable they seem.

Hope everyone has a great Xmas. Remember, the sooner you quit gambling the better your Xmas’s from now on will be.

Stay strong, and Merry Christmas 🤶 💪

@p6z38njbqm Fish 🐟. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and have the best time with your family 🎄.

All the very best as we head into 2025. May you continue to go from strength to strength in both your g.f and personal life 🙏.

Your friend - Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

278 days gf

Merry Xmas and a happy new year to all those who have helped me on my journey so far. That goes for all those who've commented on my diary or shared their own stories on their own. I wouldn't have survived this year without this site and the support others provide. Great to see so many of those who started their journey doing so well. Let's keep it going and make next year our first full non gambling year.

For those just starting out. This can be the start of a whole new you. One where money is a joy rather than a hindrance. A year where family comes first. One where you can eat, sleep, exercise, relax, and enjoy life without giving all your time and money away. Use the advice and support on here to make this your year.

My goals for next year:

Remain gamble free

Finish paying off my debt

Continue to exercise and enjoy my time

Find someone to share the new me with

Go on holiday

Most of these are in my hands and achievable. I'm starting the new year with 2 extra overtime shifts! Extra money to pay things off. I know I can achieve the rest. This year has been a huge eye opener and given me so much confidence in my own strength's. I know gambling is only one slip away, but I've never felt more hatred and determination to never go back.

Good luck to everyone in the new year.

Stay strong 

@p6z38njbqm Well done on a fantastic year Fish, and some great goals in mind there! Progress is progress and you are certainly heading in the right direction 🙂

Thanks eden, much appreciated.

Day 284.

Ive not posted much lately. I’ve still been reading everyone’s posts, but I’ve felt comfortable enough to stay away for a bit. I’ve also been working all the hours h see the sun. Big payday next month! Should knock something off my debt. 

Lots of new posts from some new and some returning people. Really sad to see. Just take faith in the fact that you can beat this and be the person you want to be. Trust me, it’s such a better way of life. I’m genuinely happy in my life right now. I can see a happy future. I have plans that before I couldn’t dream of. Take the plunge. Get the blocks in place. Most importantly though, be honest, first with yourself, then with someone else. Lay it all out there. It’s the only way. It will take you to a place of shame and regret, but I think you need to go there to really understand what gambling does to you. Once you’ve been there you can look back to that time and vow never to go back.

Sleep time. Yet more work tomorrow!

Stay strong 💪 

@p6z38njbqm Happ New Year Fish 🐟!

I was wondering where you had got to!!😆. Nice to see you back writing in your diary. I understand though how when we are really busy at work, the last thing we may feel like doing is coming on here and writing. I do believe though that reading diaries regularly as you are, is just as important , helpful and beneficial 👍. I recently read mine from start to finish. I might even read yours from start to finish!🤣. Will just be nice to see how far we have both come together, virtually at the same time.

Take care and make sure you rest well in between your long shifts 🙏.

Your friend Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

That’s so nice @pinklady. I take so much from reading other peoples stories. I always follow yours and I often look back to our first interactions. Still not listened to abba 😂. If anyone reads this who is just starting out, it really does help to reach out and speak to others. A diary not only keeps you honest, but helps others and allows them to help you. Please take the time to keep busy on here. If you get nothing from it, at least you are not gambling for the time you are on here. I do believe it will help you though.

Day 289:

Gambling free and loving life. Finally got a long awaited day off work. Got the dog. Went for a lovely walk with someone who may turn out to be something more than someone to walk with. Early days but there is some good signs. I’m not going to build up any hopes, and I’m not going to plan for the future, but it was nice to have someone to talk to and feel a connection with again. 

I’ve been inundated with gambling emails and texts lately. Don’t know if it’s a new year push by the dodgy sites but it’s really annoying. Think I’m going to have to change my phone number and email address soon. Very annoying and gives me more desire to never go back. Predatory scammers essentially preying on the weak. Luckily for me, I’m not weak to that anymore. Up yours s******s!!!

Anyway, enough about me 😂. Hope you are all doing well and fighting the good fight.

Stay strong 💪 

@p6z38njbqm Hi Fish. Yes, all of a sudden for the past few months, I have been getting text messages from gambling sites I have never even heard of!🤷🏻‍♀️. I know what you mean about it being frustrating and yet there is no way of getting rid unless you change your number/email address.  I have already done both, as I was scammed a few years ago by someone in Russia so don’t want to have to do this again. Instead, every time they come through, I just tell them to - - - - off and quickly press the delete button 👋👋✊💪👌.

Have a lovely day.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Hey Fish 

Like you and Pink Lady, I to have been getting far too many texts and emails from gambling sites and the like. Fortunately for me, my phone detects that they are spam straight away and immediately puts them into the junk and block folder and I just delete them without even looking at them. Same with the emails. Feels soooo good to do it too. 😂

I'd considered changing my number also but I've had it for 20 odd years now having to learn a new one would be a pain.

Glad to see you're doing well, even if you are being over worked. Hopefully see you in the chat room soon.

Take care and stay strong. 💪🏾

Thanks Jay. Not caught you in the chat rooms lately. Been quite busy at work. Glad to see you still doing good though. 

Day 295 - Can’t believe I’m almost at 300 days gf. This has been nearly a year of huge change in many ways. The one stable thing though has been this site. It’s been my go to place whenever I’ve felt down. Reading others stories is inspiring but also hugely sad. The new posts remind me of a sad time in my life. The success posts remind me of how far I’ve come. This can be beaten and this year will be the year I can finally say, I’m debt free, and I will never get into debt again. Gambling took so much, but 2025 is when I take it back completely. 10 months done last year. 2 more this year and hopefully I’ll be at the end of this journey. Then it’s all about staying on my new path. Never going back.

Stay strong 💪 

Hey Weirdfish

I've just read your entire diary and I wanted to say that it has helped me no end.

Today is my day 1 (again), I’ve had many day 1’s but I’m determined for this day 1 to be my last. I’m in a very dark place right now so I thought that maybe reading some diary’s today would help. 

I know you started your diary to be able to look back on but it has really helped me. Anyway, I can’t do much more typing for now. I haven’t slept or eaten since Friday (Friday night well into Sat, I was losing on online slots). I just wanted to leave a little note to let you know that your diary is inspiring! Thank you.

Em 

Hi Fish. Nice to check in and see you still stacking up the days.

Also good to see your story is helping others.

Keep at it my friend. J

Hey bean, good to see you around again. Been super busy with work at the moment so not been on as much. 

Emily - I’m glad you found it useful. I genuinely read every diary in my first few weeks. You can take so much from them. I still read every new post. Makes me angry to see new people struggling which helps me too. Also great to see people get through those first few days and weeks and to start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Day 300 - I never ever thought I could get to 300. Gambling was my life. If I couldn’t gamble (due to losing obviously), I’d watch gambling videos. I’d gamble at work, walking the dog, in the car park before work. All day, every day. What did I do it for? I knew I couldn’t win. I knew if I did, it would be a short lived success. It was for the buzz. A buzz that came with huge consequences. The addiction to the buzz fogged everything else out. Chasing the buzz cost me everything. But here I am, 300 days later, no buzz required. Life is simpler. I’m a happier person. I’m healthier. I have money. Why would I ever go back? I know the temptation is always there, but I only have to really look back to realise, it’s not worth it. I’m not going to risk what I have now for a buzz. I don’t need a gambling buzz anymore. Buying a full tank of petrol is now a buzz. Going out for food and offering to pay is a buzz. Sleeping at night is a buzz. I have a new buzz!

I realise I said buzz allot there 😂. It’s amazing to think though that 301 days ago I was so low I’d picked out a place to end it all. Now I get excited by shopping!! Life gets better. Much much better.

Stay strong 💪