Diary 2

Thanks so much for your post Tommy. It means a lot. Well done on your ongoing bet-free life. Best wishes, Phil.

Panic attacks suck but I'd rather be struggling with anxiety and finding a solution to that than gambling and taking huge amounts of tranquilllisers.

First post on my diary for a while.

I'm interested in other recovering CGs point of view about something I've been thinking about.

We all know that addiction to whatever is harmful and I genuinely believe that any addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling CAN make you ill with stress, panic etc.

But an illness? Not sure. Smoking is clearly adictive and harmful to a person's health but I've never heard anyone refer to smoking as an "illness" where as other addictions are refered to in that way.

Thoughts? Best wishes, Phil.

I'll wait for the incoming fire Phil :))

I don't believe or consider myself to have been I'll during my gambling carreer for one minute Phil , I knew I was spending money I couldn't really afford to lose yet day after day went back to the cashpoint to remove some more , My mum was ill when she had a stoke which she didn't choose and my dad was ill before he died from cancer which he also didn't choose , me however Yeah I chose to gamble every single time until the day I finally stopped and In my mind classing gambling as a Disease or illness is insulting to those who genuinely are ill .

Maybe it makes some feel better and justify it by saying " It's not my fault I'm ill " well all I can say is like yourself the first time I walked into a bookies I definately wasn't I'll so do you think it's something in the aircon that's catching ? LoL .

Have a good night Bud !

Thanks for your response Alan.

Obviously with this being my diary I was only posting something I'd been thinking about without wanting to be controversial.

I think what I'm trying to say is that the first drink, roll of a dice, P**f of weed, cigarette, big mac etc. isn't/aren't an illness but CAN lead to illness? e.g. heart disease, liver disease.......

In the case of gambling I would say it made me ill because of the massive anxiety due to deceit, debt etc. Anxiety is a medical condition for sure.

I don't think we are all wired the same - particularly when I read the friends and family section and read stories of continous lying and denial despite the "obvious" problem and huge debts etc. so I don't think it is a disease or an illness but believe as I said it can make you FEEL ill?

Cheers Phil for the drop bye :)).

Yeah I get where your coming from and the longer you gamble I feel you do get " Symptoms " as a result, which in turn could lead to illness but I just feel that the actual act of gambling isn't, just as stuffing your face constantly is a choice we make but one that could lead to health complications which would then make you become ill ( if you get my meaning ) .

Anyway I'm just going to stuff my face over a late breakfast :))

Catch you soon mate and thanks again :))

Thanks Alan. You get my point exactly. Cheers, Phil.

My recovery has been complicated and damned hard through life's adversity, inapproprate criticism (which I stupidly reacted to) and I've had to accept moderation on this forum but I think for some people it isn't that complicated.

If they want to explore underlying issues - brill. Don't want to do so - fine.

Just pay off debt? Also fine.

Recover without disclosure (not my path) - also fine although as many supportive forum friends know I disagree with respectfully.

I know many people will disagree with the above which is fine but I genuinely believe that a one track mind from people who have been bet-free for a while is not helpful to addicts whatever their poison who are new to recovery and also personal or snide comments aren't either which I have been guilty of because I felt some people were attacking me - regardless I shouldn't have said some of the things I said.

If we are here - we are here for a reason. Accepting other people's decisions is in my view part of recovery. Unity!

I agree Phil. Am also opposed to snide and personal comments

Forum decorum is important as I had to learn the hard way.

"You posted on my diary so I'm posting on yours. I have ultimate respect for your recovery but I don't believe we have anything in common so I'm asking again respectfully after disagreements and comments please can you stay away from my diary. Thank you, Phil."

Phil - I see I'm the latest of many to get the above treatment from you.

It's quite odd behaviour Phil, your attempts to stringently control interactions in this way. The way you do this reminds me of an elderly neighbour I used to have who obsessed about her pristine front lawn (and the battle of the weeds).

There will always be people who you do not agree with (or 'nothing in common with' as you faux-politely put it).

I hope for your sake you're not applying this clunky control-approach to real life.

You're the first person in 4.5 years of posting who's banned me from their thread. But OK, I agree to your terms of control and will not post further on your diary unless you change your position.

I'm not biting Louis (I see know how you try and provoke people - what your agenda is I have no idea) other than to say this thing about "control" is hilarious and "many" is also! You don't know me at all. You just make assumptions.

If you actually USED the chat room which is like (sort of) a "real-life" interaction you might see a side to me that you clearly don't.

I try my best to listen, offer honest and heart-felt advice and am not dismissive towards any form of approach and learn a lot from others. In fact I've lightened up a lot in the last couple of months.

I have massive issues with anxiety still including panic attacks and I know my gambling problem was related to that. I served my time on here under moderation and reflected big time on some of the things that occured here. Hence not wanting any issues with other forum users.

As supportive forum friends know I have spent the last 14 months coming off a long-term dependency on tranquilliers. I am down from 40mg a day to 5mg.

My emotions are RAW - I feel terrible symptoms of withdrawal including huge anxiety but a) I have stuck with the program with the help of my wife and great GP and b) I haven't gambled for 18 months or so.

As people - particularly in chat know I've had a tough time but have tried in my own clumsy way to be supportive whatever path you or I choose

I want to be helpful in a compassionate way- not dictate. I want to BE helped as well.

Best wishes, Phil.

Your actions have consequences regardless of the issues and problems you are currently going through, they are no excuse for your behaviour in this forum.