Diary 2

Hi Phil,

I think ALAN135 got it right when he said: "Were all " Work's in progress " Phil , constantly changing , learning and adapting to our new gamble free life which at times can be quite strange and turbulant even all the "Long termers" ...."

We're all going to have our moments; hopefully, with an underlying respect that all of us deserve. I thought Alan raised some good points, as did you, and, as always, we continue on this rollercoaster of life, that, for all it's loops, swirls, highs and lows, we're all at least part of 🙂

Looking forward to chatting on chat tonight Phil 🙂

Cheers Mixer. See you later.

Greetings my friend . Afraid I wasn't about in the glory days of ' Mixer the Fixer ' but your a legend in your own right and I gather you helped a lot of people .

So sorry about difficulties surrounding your relapse , sadly it can happen to any one of us . Congratulations on rejoining the diaries , your brothers and sisters in arms will all be very pleased . Takes courage to rise up and get back in the fray .

Wishing you every success ... stephen

Sorry Phil this post was meant for Mixer .

Hey buddy ,

I couldn't resist to post on your diary ! I promised you last night not to get involved here but fudge it ! First of all , you're the first person to help me here with my recovery and until now your continuos support is much appreciated ! Second of all " your recovery , your path , your choice those wise words from you worked for me and yes again everyone is an individual ! Just to add , ALAN is a gentleman and know how to talk to people , fair and square I should say ! Thanks for looking on both sides sir . At the end of the day we're all here for one reason and that's to help each other to recover from gambling addiction !

Keep insipiring us Phil !

Sars

Thank you Sars.

At the end of the day we can't all get on in life and on a forum. The thing I've learnt in the last 2 months even though I haven't gambled for 18 months is to be considerate to other forum users whether it that is on my diary or elsewhere.

The advice I was given by the moderators by e-mail was to ignore posts - especially provactive - and get on with my life and recovery. I made a small mistake this weekend which seemed to get out of proprotion.

I can't deny as a thin-skinned person (not skin like a rhino!) that the last couple of days have upset me massively. People like you who get to know me a bit in the chat room see a different side.

I'm not personally getting into people's hostile posts because I genuinely do not want to fall out with anyone but I would say that I only flagged one person and the post on my diary was edited.

Best wishes and well done on your ongoing recovery. Phil.

hey phil

Just wanted to check in and say I am pleased your mate is being transfered closer to you. I think that it is great that you have been a big support to each other, amoungst the tradgedy there is always hope.

The chat room has been so active lately and well done for inviting members in the newcomer section there has certainly been an increase in activity since your post.

take care

Hey Phil

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Thanks Zulu. It's great to get some nice feedback! Best wishes, Phil.

Dear all,

We'd just like to remind you all of this excerpt from the forum rules and etiquette:

• Please show consideration and respect for other users and for their opinions.

We suggest that if you don't agree with something someone says, then respectfully disagree and move on, or simply ignore the post.

We've edited a post in this thread. If it continues we may have to put some individuals on moderation.

Best wishes

Forum Admin.

Hi. My name is Phil, a recovering gambling addict and would like to re-introduce myself.

A bit about me:

Without any self-pity to describe a bit about my background - my life has been full of adversity - five years in care, grew up in a council house after with no heat, chronic dyslexia, physical abuse and emotional abuse for years from my mum's "partner" and (my choice) substance abuse.

I am a sensitive person who is trying his best day by day to be honest, pay my debts and be supportive to other recovering CGs and care and love my lovely wife who is starting to trust me again.

I reflect on my behaviour and inappropriate comments IN the past and served my time under moderation. I am not thick skinned - I wish I was but recent posts and comments on the chat room (tonight) have devasated me.

Sometimes I wonder why I still come here and the answer to me is that there are people who are caring and kind and there is mutual support with sometimes constructive criticism.

Excuse me. Best wishes, Phil.

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Hi Phil,

As you know, I was on the chat earlier Phil and I saw for myself a quite unnecessarily dig aganst you, but we all rallied round. Try to rise above it, I know it's tough at times. As long as we keep ours standards, integrity, and stobbornly remain GF, of course - we'll be winners 🙂

necessairily? kidding! Best wishes, your friend Phil.

Corrected! My bad, Phil - my apologies !!!

Phil,

You have come a long way in your recovery and your personal growth. There will always be people who test us whether on this forum, GA, family or friends. Your commitment to recovery and to your wife are the things you need to focus on.

Unfortunately or fortunately which ever way you look at it people are different. My view is simple when people try to wind me up or confront me in an aggresive or digging way I ignore them and in time they disappear because it is more exhausting for them than for me. I know things can be hurtful and no one should be made to feel like that on this forum it is a place for mutual support and guidance. Insecure people often thrive on hurting others as it deflects from their own issues. You often mention your own mistakes and have been humble enough to recognise them. One only hopes that the people who are engaging in personal attacks will have the ability and humility to eventually recognise the damage and appologise as that will gain them respect and forgiveness. Until then let them wallow in their own misery and keep pretending.

This addiction is a hard battle Phil. You have been hard on yourself a few times. You know you cannot change the past, Phil you can only focus on the here and now because that is the only certainty. Look at how caring and supportive you have been of your mate and visa versa. There is good in everyone of us we just have to find it!

Take care and be true to yourself thats what matters !!

Phil with all due respect I don't actually think you have anything to apologise for , at the end of the day it's your recovery and your way , I came to your diary yesterday to maybe throw some light on why people were feeling the way they did and nothing more .

When I first came here I found myself deep in the s***e from many who felt I wasn't conforming to the way things should be done and like yourself got it in the neck on quite a few occasions but also like you people who felt the same way rallied around with support , so bearing in mind how many post's youve had thanking you for your past help the last couple of day's , I don't think you should judge yourself too harshly .

"People in glass houses Phil "

Again just my opinion and carry on doing what works Bud :))