Diary 2

I feel like a weakling - my wife is my mentor, best friend and rock and she's going away for a month soon and there is still is a niggling doubt that without her support/criticism I'll gamble despite not wanting to do so.

I guess we all need a support network whatever the issue - friends, family, meetings, chat rooms (err!) etc.

Im just so used to us being together with all the BS, adversity and I'm going to miss her terribly.

Best wishes, Phil.

More positively - besides gambling I had a massive issue with tranquillisers (caused erratic behaviour like getting into gambling at 40) which I've been addressing on a sensible withdrawal program with massive support from my GP, wife, some friends and specific people on this this forum (you know who you are amigos!) .

Today was my first day in 16 years I didn't take a tranquilliser. Wow - I felt fearful but I did it and felt OK and coped and have a foundation to build on.

I feel good but as always not complacent.

Best wishes, Phil.

Wow what a huge step to take Phil, hats off for going into the unknown. I think the fear of breaking a cycle is scarier than doing it. Best wishes and here is to a prosperous 2018 S:)

We'll done Phil, that's great news.

Thank you for the posts. No pill today either - a difficult path which I've been on but I would urge people with any type of problem to think very carefully about taking the kind of medication I was dependent on.Cheers, Phil and wow 700+ days without a bet! Thanks forum friends.

I've been rather inactive on the forum recently - doesn't help that's been almost 4 weeks without the chat rooms. I'm sure I'm not the only forum user who misses the chat rooms and wonders when they will be back!

Not quite where I hoped to be with gambling related debts - had to miss a payment to pay for some private medical treatment so it turns out I have three more payments to make. One of my creditors (on my DMP) I owe 29p!

I can see the end in sight though. As I've always said taking responsibility for gambling-related debts is in my opinion a big part of "recovery".

Hi Phil, I genuinely feel inspired by your attitude and progress to clearing your debts.'I can see the end in sight though' is one of my goals so cherish that feeling my friend that it won't be long. Hope all ok with you, best wishes Sharon 🙂

Congratulations Phil on 2 years ganble free. A great achievement and a good reminder that we can abstain from gambling...stephen

Thank you. I wouldn't say the last two years have been easy - lots of adversity in mine and my wife's personal lives but somehow I've managed to stick to the commitment I made 730 days ago.

I've made terrible mistakes along the way, said things on this forum I shouldn't have said etc. but ultimately I've learnt much about myself during this period and hope to continue on my journey using my own interpretation of ODAAT.

Best wishes, Phil.

Phil, well done on abstaining for so long, some achievement and for admitting you've made mistakes along the way, haven't we all. Keep up the stirling work

Wilsy

Thank you Wilsy. Best wishes, Phil.

Weird thoughts today.

I have no interest ODAAT at a time in horse racing (my poison of choice) but I watched the Porto vs Liverpool game last night and Liverpool are and always have been my team and it was very exciting to see them beat a quality Portuguese team 5-0.

I woke up and thought about what the odds would have been on that result. I'm not sure if it's anything to do with INTENT or just curiousity.

Best wishes, Phil.

First week with my wife away has passed. I was really worried I would struggle without her for various reasons but so far touch wood I've been OK.

Pleased the week has passed okay so far Phil.

Keep stong and well.

Wilsy