Diary 2

Thank you Wilsy. Just glad I'm maintaining my commitment but missing my wife like crazy!

Well my wife is back tomorrow and although it's not been the best of times for various reasons, I've coped and built my confidence up a bit. A couple of panic attacks and sleepless nights but I'm ok.

Hi friends.

I've not been very active on the forum with the chat rooms still unavailable but I just wanted to say that for those who got into gambling related debt like I did there is hope.

My latest StepChange statement reveals that I have one and a half payments to make (i had to miss a couple of payments) so am basically down to £169 still to pay to my various creditors. There is hope amigos.

Best wishes, Phil.

Hello Phil. Hope your happy and well.

Congratulations on achieving over 800 days free from gambling.

A great inspiration and a guiding light on this difficult journey.

Well I'm now gambling debt-free which wasn't the ultimate aim but part of the journey as I had to take responsibility for the money I had borrowed.

I am happier and calmer and more reflective and responsive to constructive criticism. My wife is happier and the trust (not completely) is returning to our marriage. We are making plans for the future which we never did when I had the monkey on my back.

I have no urges to gamble but always remember complacency and keeping myself safe one day at a time. Life is infiinitesimally better today.We are losing out on NOTHING by not gambling.

Hi Phil, fantastic post and a massive achievemrnt to be gambling debt free! I aspire to this but know it goes hand in hand with looking after your peace of mind too. Take care S:)

Thank you Sharon. I may not go to GA but I DO have my own "program" which I follow which so far has worked without it being a white knuckle ride.

First post for a while.

Debts paid and mentality changed and had a lovely 4th anniversary meal with my gorgeous wife earlier.

I'm still very conscious about what I did and continue to maintain an individual one-day-at-a-time approach but I refuse to crucify myself after quite some time without gambling.

I'm MINDFUL always but I still don't feel I need to go to GA meetings - it's just not for me. I discuss what happened over a three year period with my wife and selective friends if I feel the need which isn't very often.

Still wish the chat rooms were active though.

Wow first diary post for over 2 months. It feels so good to be debt free, happier, calmer, honest and also still committed to sticking to the choice I made around two and a half years ago.

Checking in to say hi to forum friends. Not posted in my diary for ages but things are going well with life's ups and downs. Hope friends are doing well. All the best, Phil.

Well a nice round number - 1,000 days since I decided to change my life.

This is in no way a celebration but an acknowledgement that with commitment, a realistic strategy, a one day at a time approach and support etc. a person can stick to the path they chose.

Best wishes to all, Phil.

What I've learnt and of course it's just a personal thing is: Having more cash is great as is paying off debts but more importantly to ME - improvement in mental health, no lying to myself and others, re-built relationship with my wife, no "obsession" to gamble or interest in gambling, re-emphasis on other activities that are actually enjoyable etc.

I've actually been very ill over the last six months and in and out of hospital but I've had to get beyond self-pity and realise that major changes in my life had to be initiated. Life as a non-compulsive gambler isn't perfect but for me it's infinitely better.

Congratulations Phil on 1,000 days gamble free. That is a wonderful achievement.

Sorry to read that you have been unwell for several months and and hope that you are on the mend.

Wishing you peace, good health and happiness as you continue on your gamble free adventure...stephen

*Sigh* Having not posted or looked at posts much for a while it makes me sad that there is still so much GA jargon. Of course it's up to the individual what they post and what program they follow but there ARE other options to GA/AA/NA/CA etc. and SO many cliches around these 12-step fellowships.

Phil72 wrote:

*Sigh* Having not posted or looked at posts much for a while it makes me sad that there is still so much GA jargon. Of course it's up to the individual what they post and what program they follow but there ARE other options to GA/AA/NA/CA etc. and SO many cliches around these 12-step fellowships.

Sigh, would have been so nice to just be able to congratulate you on your tremendous achievement but it makes me sad that so many people are spouting off about how incredible a certain book is that suggests stopping addiction is easy! You may not approve of the 12 Step program but rather than knock the people here who are doing their best to support others maybe take the time to direct people to these other options instead!