Diary 2

Congratulations Phil on 3 years gamble free. A great achievement.

You do seem somewhat dissatisfied with other aspects of your life but that is all a part of who you are. In overcoming the urges to gamble, you have proved yourself to be a man of courage who is prepared to stand up for what he believes in.

I wish you happy days, contentment and interesting adventures as you continue on your journey...Stephen

Thank you. My "dissatisfaction" with other areas of my life is improving as I improve. I really don't have much too complain about and see myself as a work in progress - perhaps never to be finished!

Belated congratulations Phil, thank you for kind words and inspiration S:)

Thank you Sharon. Wow you're almost on 700 days! Well done! 🙂

Thanks Phil!

Three years without a bet and I see the improvements in me and my life but I've finally found a drawer for my ego and decided I think I need to attend GA.

That's not to say I believe my recovery is at risk or I feel like gambling - that's not the case. However, it has taken a long time for me to rid myself of a lot of anger and inner turmoil plus animosity towards 12-step fellowships.

Apart from this forum and a few sessions with SMART (and 1 GA meeting) I have never had a face-to-face conversation with a recovering gambling addict. I think I need it - hence the word "fellowship".

Owing money to a payday lender for example is a lot different to owing a person. I realised the other day I'd borrowed money off someone - a lovely woman - several years ago and lied when she asked me for it back and the sum involved. We then lost contact because of my behaviour. I managed to contact her through Facebook and needless to say her response was very cold and rightly so. I've arranged to pay the money back over a few months which I think is vital in terms of honesty, amends and recovery. I doubt she'll ever forgive but at least I'm trying to do the right thing.

Well, well, well...That has put a big smile on my face 🙂 I wish you the very best & hope you get as much out of GA as I have Phil! Get a lock for that drawer...Life without my ego in control is much more serene!

Thanks ODAAT. I think my ego started to shrink a while back when I was ill. Made me consider a lot more about my life - past, present and future.

I'm not sure if I'm finding this new look website easy to navigate!

Me neither!

It's too hectic! 🙂

I have something to say which is important to me. I'd like to apologise to specific forum users for my posts and antagonistic comments in the past. I'm eight months sober after finally admitting last year I had a serious drink problem. I'm attending regular AA meetings, making a daily commitment to not drink, asking polite questions about the program and showing a willingness to listen and learn. It was very difficult for me to accept I was an alcoholic - more so than admitting the issues with gambling. I know and am ashamed to say that I often posted in the forums and chatrooms whilst drunk and that I am truly sorry for. Best wishes, Phil.

Thankyou for saying that, not that I think it's directed at me. It takes a lot to recognise our faults. My husband also has/had issues with drinking. He would binge drink. He found the drinking easier to stop. The gambling was his daily hit. A meeting of whatever addiction is a place to talk and get support. Living life one day at a time is far more manageable.

Respect Phil! 

Keep the sobriety going, new life awaits, am very happy for you ???

S&B xx