Day 82 - Gamble free
18 days until target
Just 18 until the next target of 100 days, this is exactly where I fell last time so am particularly wary and have my defenses up. Really feel a little stronger this time around, ready to wrestle that gambling demon to the ground and lock the temptation creature away.
I have never got to 100 days on these shores so it is something to aim for but determined not to stop there. I will have a little celebration though and will post a few tunes on here just to relax too.
Those 'urges' and those 'what if' and those 'it wouldn't do that much harm' thoughts are still around and probably always will be, they get less intense though and less often. Even managed to enjoy some sport the other day without thinking about gambling.
Good luck to everyone, hope everyone can stay strong whether on day 1 or day 1000.
Each day avoiding temptation is a day we have regained for ourselves.
One day may not sound much, it may not even feel like we have achieved much but one day gamble free is a day we can be proud of and pat ourselves on the back, a day we have been there for our loved ones, a day of hope and not despair.
Stay safe and strong
hi paul
well done your doing a fantastic job, you dont need me to tell you to keep it up!!
the big magic number will soon be here, make sure you have a little celebration for the effort you put in
carl
Hi Paul,
Thank u 4 ur post on my diary 🙂
Well done on 82 days gamble free, u r doing brilliant 🙂
I hope u celebrate when u reach 100 days gamble free, u deserve it 🙂
U can do this!
Stay strong and keep going!
Have a gr8 day 🙂
Hi Paul,
Thanks for taking the time to post on my diary, means a lot having support from you guys. Great to see how well you're doing buddy, 100 days is a great target on the way to greater things. Take care now, Keith
Day 84
Carl, Charlotte, Keith thanks for taking the time to post I appreciate it, I always need the support. I will do a reciprocal pop by soon.
These past couple of days have been really emotional so thought I would post.
Firstly going to start with a positive, 12 weeks today and just 16 days until the big 100.
Secondly, yesterday I had urges and it felt like before when I got to the same position, the same number of days, a few drinks and that feeling of 'it can't do much harm can a couple of 100 quid' BUT IT CAN!!!
Last time I gave in, this time I thought of this diary and how I would hate to start at number 1 again and how I really did not need to gamble, it is useless a despicable habit. Made it through to fight another day.
Secondly today I told someone I know about my addiction, they were wondering why I hadn't completed something I always used to go on about in the past and although I do not know them well I told them that being a CG had made my life impossible. What a wave of relief came over me, someone else knows, not just the man who works at the bookies, even though I do not know them well it felt great to get it off my chest and most of all to be able to tell the truth.
One day I hope I have the courage of many others on gamcare and to come clean to my loved ones.
Stay safe and strong
Paulds
day 85
15 until target
One more day of my life regained
One more day with my eyes open
One more day of progress
One more day along the path
One more day that is mine not theirs
Paulds
Hi Paul, thank u 4 ur post on my diary. It means alot 🙂
Well done on the 85 days gamble free. I really like ur last post, those words r soooo true 🙂
Have a gr8 nite 🙂
Hi Paul,
I just wanted to thank -you for your kind words. I was really touched, thanks. Really.
Keep strong my friend. joan
Hi Paul,
I believe that's 90 days now. Well done.
Yes it is me and the vid was great as usual. Thank you for the warm return. I have lots of posting to do! Stay close. Keep smiling.
A.N
Day 92 - gamble free
8 days until target
Thanks Judy, Charlotte and AN for your comments, as ever they are much appreciated, those kind of comments always give me a little boost at the right time.
Just 8 days until the big 100 and I work that out to be next Friday, Going to have a small celebration then.
I have had some urges especially with the sports I love but I have resisted and one of the main reasons why is this diary and the other diarists.
Been thinking about the days I have managed and the thought of reaching day 100. Beyond that I want to get to the magical 183 days and then beyond.
Apart from the debts which as for many are never decreasing fast enough (but at least they are decreasing) there were many other projects that were put on hold, well basically abandoned becasue lack of time, energy and cash. G@~&*#ng really drains us in so many ways.
So now I want those things to continue, not looking back to what has gone and what was lost but looking forward to a future where my mind is pushed more to its potential rather than squashed to its lowest setting.
Stay safe and strong out there.
Paulds
HI Paulds,
Great post from you, My recovery has been about pushing myself again, slowly to get back into the land of the living, I seem to know when i can run and when i need to walk when i challange myself with things. Its great to set goals that we can achieve i find it tops up that self worth and pride in what we are doing every day.
Keep pushing paulds your doing great.
Blondie x
Hi Paul,
Thanks for that post, really kind, thank you.
Don't wanna put a downer on your big 100 but take a word of warning from me. Be careful, I was so high on my century it led to a drop. You know what I mean. My 100th party was a good idea but one which I regret. The very next day was an anti climax, I only managed to get to 144. I blame some of it on that. I switched off quickly and lost sight of my goals.
I am not saying the same will happen but I worry about others now so much as I am very secure with myself. You seem like such a great guy I would hate to see you fall. So please be aware.
That said, I will drop by on your special night and surely share some tunes with you.
Enjoy, goodnight mate.
Hi Paul, thanks for your support on my diary. Great stuff so far in your recovery and good to see the century is now in sight. I'll be in Spain when you hit your Ton but i'll raise a glass of San Miguel to you on Friday when i'm sat by the pool in the Sunshine 🙂
Take care
Hello Paul,
I too get a lot of strength from reading and posting on the diaries. Keep going strong my friend. One day at a time. -joan
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