Lost the plot...so back.

Keep going...

64 days is great. Look forward to hearing about what you did with your other diary.

Just a thought here... Do you consider yourself "lucky"? It's just that I would associate that word with gambling.

It's your choice, just wanted to share my thoughts.

GT

Hi Jim, new diary, new year. You had a close shave there.

64 days is fantastic going, don't forget to add your name to getting there's 2012 list if you have not already done it.

I'm off today and nursing a bad hangover, plan on taking stock of debts tomorrow to see where I stand and plan a way forward. I'm sure your working a similar plan at the moment.

Keep strong and keep your OH happy 🙂

well done lucky jim, its a great amount of days gamble free, what i want to ask you is how do u feel when you reach this point?? does the urges go away? can you forget about gambling? its just i have never reached that ammount of time gamble free.

well done again mate

thanks

Day 65

Yes indeed Pat, new year, new diary, new me, but same 100% determination not to gamble. I've never been surer about it. My gambling days are over, I'm at the angry with myself stage, and although I know that's not always positive it IS quite helpful and makes it easier not to be tempted. My anger goes something like this:

'Thirty bl00dy years, all that time, all that money, all those lost opportunities...' - and so on.

Would join GT's list, but I'm in a sydicate for the lottery (I do nothing, just pay £6 a month when I'm asked for it), and I don't want to post 'can we make an exception for...' etc, so I thought I'd just keep on here. But I'm there in spirit!!

...and now to make sure the computer shuts down properly...

good timing on the anger comment, i woke up this morning after having a dream, well really a recollection of an event that happened me about 8 years ago. i was on a weeks holiday but instead of taking my wife, (girlfriend at the time) off on holidays i spent the week gambling.... So one morning i went into the bookies with a good roll of stake money, i was backing the morning dogs and within an hour and a half i was down 2K, (betting 100 or 200 stake bets) i was reading the form for the next race and the T3 dog looked a cert (im rolling my eyes here now as i type this...) so decided to put 2K on at 6/4 which would leave me up 1K for my morning. dog was supposed to break fast and lead, so the hare started to run, traps opened and my dog fell out stone last, in that few seconds i went through so many emotions, what have i done, am i mad, i will never do this again, i just put 10 weeks wages on a stupid dog etc.... i felt sick... so turning the second last bend the hare broke down, VOID RACE... MONEY BACK. I WAS JUMPING FOR JOY.

so what did i do next, you guessed it, the very next race, another 6/4 shot, another 2K bet and it lost. thinking about that this morning got me so angry, how stupid can you get, i lost all sense of reality once i walk into a bookmakers. memories like that and many others make me more determined than ever to never bet again.

sorry for the long ramble but wanted to tell someone about that today and you were the one person i wanted to say it too.

have a great gamble free day.

Day 66

I earned £110 tip money over the xmas period (come now, don't forget your mm). The OH and I went to town today for a 'few bits' (her words) and *click* it was gone. Obviously, I don't complain about the prices of the things she buys, given that I'd just pi55 thousands against the wall in the past, but it made me fret a little - I'd earmarked it for the bank and to go towards the mortgage.

No gambling though.

Made an app for the quacks on Friday - don't know if it's stress or what, but my breathing seems very shallow and I can't breathe in fully without coughing. Wouldn't be surprised if it is stress - got a baby coming in the next 5 weeks, and she wants a bl00dy homebirth.

Just think how long that £110 would have lasted in the past. At least you now have something to show for the money.

Thanks for your post on my thread, I have replied to it if you want to have a read.

Exciting times ahead for you with the impending arrival!

GT

Hi LJ,

thanks for the post.Love the new name by the way.

I was quite a late starter to gambling i was 34/35 now 40 and i was just trying to work out why i fell so hard and so quick.But my mum says i come from a family of gamblers on her side so maybe your right its just a faulty gene i have inherited.But it always worth looking from all angles.

Glad to see things are going well for you atm.

I was born at home at least it means you dont have the mad dash to hospital.

Stay Strong

Ex

*counting error*

Today is day 66, not yesterday.

It gets difficult when you run out of fingers and toes.

But still no gambling!

Dear LJ/MM, well done for staying gamble-free - do not give up as I am hot on your heels! What exactly happened to your old diary? There was some good stuff in there. Good luck for the rest of the week.

Hi mate,

Just had a re-think about the 2012 gamble free diary list and having checked the rules on the second post, I have had to remove your name from the list. The only reason is because it stated that not a single penny was to be spent on scratchcards or any form of lottery. Being in a syndicate is a form of lottery and that's the only reason for the removal.

It is my fault for agreeing to put you on in the first place and I apologise for this. Many thanks for being totally honest and this certainly will put you in good stead for your own recovery journey.

The 2012 gamble-free list is purely another thread and we are all still here for each other with one ultimate aim in our lives.

And that is to hit this gambling lark that we have in the head.

All the best,

GT

Well, GT, I read that too, which is why I didn't join in the first place. More unpleasant to be removed than not to go on in the first place!

Pelle, read Pat's diary for the reason why I changed, but in a nutshell my OH read one of my entries and i wanted it taken down before she found the rest, partly for all the debts etc but also because there were a lot of private thoughts on there I wouldn't like anyone I know to read.

Day 66 - no gambling