I done my first post on the new members forum explaining the pain and hurt Im causing with this behaviour gambling to the point where I dont have no food, I know I can do this as Im in recovery for another addiction where I am now sober for 15 years yet this one seems so powerful Im only hurting myself, not ending up in a police cell not knowing what Ive done, all the lovely stuff that goes with being a drunk!! I feel so ashamed of this one I dont declare it to anyone as I feel so pathetic I left a machine yesterday (normal stuff just refiling it) looked in my bag and broke down just cried at how weak and awful I feel so I resisted the urges today and am going to try to treat it the same way as I did the booze one day at a time stop, come on here and update my diary with other suffering gamblers and give this a go as it controls my moods, my emotions and just lately physically feeling so sick, I am so grateful to this site as it feels like Im declaring this big secret so thank you x
Hi Julie
I'too, have been sober for many a year and got involved with gambling but thought it didn't count as an addiction as I never hurt anyone only myself. This is the crux of gambling, I believe, it is a form of self abuse. Recovery is a wondeful thing but we have to be careful not to substitute to something else.
Try self ecluding from all gambling haunts and it will give you some thinking time when an urge arises. When I first realisd I had a gambling problem I was devastated and started thinking all bad thoughts etc. Now I'm glad I know that if I stay away from gambling I'll be OK today. Alcohol is a non runner in my life. It doesn't even enter the equation. Hopefully you will post more as you go here and really let rip if you feel the need, I was very angry when I first stepped foot on this site. It will subside and you can do this as you did with alcohol
It's weird I get it with the booze totally accept that I just don't do one! Totally accept this would bring more damage to add to the pile and it's not a solution. Deep down I know I have to treat it the same I dont just do fivers I do every penny then borrow more!! It's my 2nd day with no betting but the obsession just pops in (the sound of the machine) I stayed in to feel safe and as time passed so did the obsession thank you so much for your response as big as this secret has become it feels better sharing it as we know!!!
Hi Julie
Have you a sponsor in AA? If so have you gone through the steps? I'm sure the same principles apply to GA. It is tough to have dual addiction but a relief in another way as we come to realize we have an addiction issue that can be arrested. One day at a time is good enough for me.
Take care
I do have a sponser and have spoke about it before but I don't think she understands how bad and if I'm honest I'm very good at 'I'm fine how are you' I need to be honest and tell the extent! Even in meetings I won't share about it as it feels 15 years I should be full of serenity and have this peaceful life! Mind you I always said if you feel you can't share what your doing it's prob coz you shouldn't be doing it!! Like you say a day at a time! At the moment it's a minute at a time lol thank you for your support x
Morning Julie thanks for your kind words.
Must be so tough battling on two fronts but your winning both battles as far at I can see. Well done for coming out of the shadows you must be over 150 days gf like you I miss parts of it but I much rather have the parts that not gambling gives me. Keep going ODAAT and it will get better.
Do you still got to AA? And do you GA as well now
KTF
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
