Diary of a familiar tale

Hi Paulds, more great tracks brother. Why accept stuff that is fed to you mate, always best to find your own groove.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luM6oeCM7Yw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nTSM6FAzzw

Goodnight.

Hey Paul 🙂

Just popping in to congratulate you on the big 100. FABULOUS!

Love Del xo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w86qjdBnaQ

Hi Paul,

Well done on 100 days gamble free, that is a gr8 achievement. U should be sooo proud of urself 🙂

Have a gr8 wknd 🙂

Day 103

target - 123

Thanks to all who posted tunes, it was nice to achieve 100 days but now that is all irrelevant as I try to get to 123, I previously miscounted by a day.

Those urges are still there especially at weekends, I am always pleased to get through them and the temptation.

In fact I am going to take a break for a few days from posting as although this diary really helps me and it would have been impossible to stop without it, I also sometimes feel a little obsessed about 'not gambling'. Some might say it is a healthy obsession to have of course! But really i want to be more positive and also not really obsess about anything. I am fed up of obsessions and addictions and want to leave my life in peace thank you very much. Easier said than done I know.

I am still going to be checking in a reading diaries as this inspires me so much. Everyone on her is so supportive, we all have ups and downs and so many other issues to deal with apart from gambling and that shared experience is something that gives me hope.

Positivity, quality and the occassional pat on the back, I know i need to incorporate these more into my life and now is the time to do so.

Choosing not to gamble today and choosing not to obsess.

Paulds

Hi Paulds,

Thank you for the positive, supportive post on my diary. Much appreciated. I totally understand your need for a break and relate strongly to the getting obsessed with 'not gambling'. I believe you and I have much in common. I want to get rid or restrict of this obsessional behaviour myself and am really considering consulting my GP for meds which I have previously refused.

You have done fantastically well but like me I think you may need something more than Gamcare to keep you going. Discovering who you really are now without the gambling can be challenging and rewarding. So that something more could mean ME time. Travel and hobbies would give you that.

Only you have the answers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdOrQXhPE_A

Day 110

target 123

Gamble free and still just about hanging in there, weekends are always the worst with those tempting sports bets. I really don't want to chuff everything up now.

Out playing sports helps but still miss enjoying sport for what it is rather than the supposed thrill of g@+**!!g.

Still the same obsessions about debt even though this is not a good place to be. Now have calculated I have paid off over £4K this year to reduce my debt to under £20K. I can't bear the thought that it is going to take me another 5 years to clear it.

Right that is the moaning out of the way, now the positive stuff.

I should be thinking that if i was still gambling, I wouldn't just have the original debt but a whole lot more on top. Plus now I have money for the little luxuries like nights out and small trips. Even when I buy a pair of socks I still think, 'this would not have been possible when i was gambling'. Even today as I put milk in my tea I thought of all the times I had drunk black tea because the pennies would not run to a pint of milk.....

Stay strong and safe out there

Paulds

hi paulds

carl

Day 111

Days until target 12

Gamble free days are nice days

Obsession free days are nice days

Days back in the land of the living

are nice days.

Thanks for posting Carl you are doing great, together we can do this.

Aiming for quality now, I love counting and it is a real motivation but more importantly we have to enjoy this gamble free time and get back out there, back on the horse and ride past those open windows.

Original debt free target 1460 days

Days until debt free 1204

This sounds like an obsession but it is not, just nice to see it go down. Am trying to save money at the same time for little luxuries. Probably not financially sensible but definitely emotionally sensible.

Stay safe and strong

Paulds

Hi Paul

Good to see your recovery is still going strong, 1204 days until debt free, good motivation to never return to gambling knowing what it has done to you and the length of time to repay these gambling debts.

I wish you well Paul, keep up the good work and reap the rewards 🙂

Keith

well congrats on them gamble free days and yeah ya only got like 108 days on me. lol

yeah them bills suck and they can never be paid off quick enough. got me one of those high intrest car loans and kinda plucking away to pay it off sooner if i can. only like 3 1/2 payments ahead and could probrably be a year ahead if not more if it werent for the gambling. hoping one day to get it right and be sitting at a 100 or more days like you. congrats again.

Just read up to page 10 of your diary Paul. I will read the remainder day by day. You have done se well to steer clear of the bookies, hopefully your diaries and others on here can help me on any dark days I have ahead of me. Keep it up mate!

Just read through your diary and your doing great. 3 minor slips but the important thing with these slips is have you learnt from them? And that's a clear yes, your certainly stronger for them. 40 then 80 now flying past 100 and realising from those 2 slips that you can't go back you can't control your gambling. Keep on going mate your diary shows that the addiction can be beat and it also shows that its hard but ultimately the right choice.

Thanks Keith, theassiam, phil and david for your comments, that support always gives me a timely boost.

Day 113 Gamble free

10 days until target.

Payday tomorrow and for others on the site, the end of the month is always a tough one, some of us have been waiting so long for this moment and although we are relieved to get paid, a lot of it gets swallowed up in debt repayment and bills, most of mine goes on this within a couple of days. BUT this is a massive improvement than losing it all in those vile establishments.

Just getting into a monthly routine now of debt repayment, bills paid, a tiny bit saved and a small luxury. I know it makes more financial sense to pay of debts as quickly as possible but I don't mind waiting a little longer as i really want to enjoy life too. they aren't huge luxuries just a meal or night out or some new music.

So many free things to enjoy as well, jsut walking in the evening sun and breathing free fresh air, just passing those vile establishments with a couple of v signs firmly thrust in my pocket. each time I pass i become a little stronger, a little taller and have regained another day for me not for the demon.

Stay safe and strong

Paulds

well thanks for the words of encouragement and always a welcome thing to have. guess i'm not to worried about getting threw tomorrow. guess the bills take up a good 3/4 of my check so yeah after i get the necessities there wont be much left. sometimes being poor can be a good thng i guess. lol hope your pay day is good to ya too. ya got a 100 plus days and just know ya aint blowing that. keep up the good fight

Thanks for the post Paul are journeys are similar. And the main thing we have in common is we're heading in the right direction and were still gamble free. Plus we're part of the treble figure club which is a nice place to be.

Good luck with pay day. Use that money wisely and stay strong. I'm sure you will. Life is worth more than sitting in some dodgy bookies.