Dilemma

Hi Russ

Read your last post and really pleased to see how well you are still doing.

Just thought that I would let you know that I made the 1 year point. Hopefully, I have proved you wrong (see your first post on my diary).

Not that I mind at all, in fact that post helped spur me on even more.

I, like you, have no interest in gambling at all now. I just enjoy sport for what it is and enjoy my family time more.

Thanks again for all your help and support over the last year. You and a few others have been a great personal support to me and I couldn't have done it 'on my own' without you all.

Keep in touch

T+G

Russ..

Thank you for your kind words...It has actually helped me...I hope I can get through these dark times now...The thing is, out there I went to a casino for the first time whilst doing a bordercross...Nothing special happened I actually lost around 10,00 THB...But I think I wanted to do everything because like you said all the barriers were down....That is what made me think about gambling again...

I believed that I was lucky because Thais kept saying I was lucky...I believe what they really meant is that I have the most caring partner in the world who would give me money love or anything I need..Unlike the majority of women in their country and the difference in cultural ways...no offence to them it is manily the goverments fault...Anyhow, just thought I would point out the facts and just trying to give you an insight to what I am facing right now...

Lastly, because I spent a heap load of money out there maybe I was trying to reap something back as well...A kind of replacement to what I feel as losses? ....I just have to let go of money issues....That is the most difficult thing for me to do...Everyday is a challenge I guess!

Easy li£e

I'm having serious issues with my work computer, so I thought I would update my diary. Still gamble free after around 20 months. My habits have changed now. When I get a spare second from work or the kids, I'll go for a run or get some jobs around the house sorted. My running and gambling did overlap. I can remember trying to punish myself with a really tough run after a nasty binge. Having said this, running then became my time/activity filler. I got much fitter, lost weight and felt much better for it. It's also enabled me to keep up another addiction......chocolate. I just can't stop myself when it's in the house. Luckily, I can burn it off with a run!

On the gambling front....my work 'offsite' had a casino evening. The night involves playing with fake money. I have to say that I played most ofthe evening and enjoyed it as a social event. It didn't get my juices flowing and it hasn't tempted me to get back into my old lieing, nasty ways. It was nice not to be chasing 100 after 100 on the tables. On another note, I have a stag do in Brighton in December. The night involves the dogs and real casino. The group consists of all my old gambling buddies. It's going to be awkward, but I've done it before and I can certainly do it again.

I've noticed a few diaries who have relapsed over and over, finally starting to stop. It took me countless attempts to stop gambling. On most occasions, I just wanted to stop losing. It's strange when the penny finally does drop. I'm not sure what makes it different to all the other times....it kind of just happens. I guess I'm saying...never give up giving up. One day it will be for good...just try and make it sooner rather than later.

Russ

Hi russ,

thanks for your comments on my diary.

YOUR diary is an epic,so I've read the first five pages and the last couple. I will be reading it over the next few days.

Obviously, congratulations on such a long, sustained recovery! You are a superb success story.

Hey russ,

Not sure how often you stop by now but I wanted to share my milestoe with you, today is my 1 year marker, it feels fantastic and I echo so much of your last post, as an early supporter/poster on my diary I owe a huge amount of thanks to people like you, it makes a huge difference to others, in this case me, so thank you

Great to hear your progress is still

Going strong,

Take care

Dan

Hi Russ.

Thanks for the post mate. Much appreciated as always.

I agree with you that it was nice to see Tiger Wood back on the winning trail. I see it was a limited field event though and that he was the tournament host. Still a win is a win! I heard on the radio that he is now favourite for all the majors next year which seems a bit of an over-reaction.

All is not well at Goodison Park. I do hope that we find some money from somewhere to find a centre forward who can put the ball in the net. Someone like that Yakubu lad at Blackburn would be ideal! At least Liverpool's champions league charge is looking unlikely!!

I'll pop by before xmas to wish you all the best for the festive period pal. Until then just keep on doing what you are doing.

hello pal and thanks for popping by on my diary. . i see your still going strong and testing yourself this month which im sure you will pass with flying colours. . Best wishes to you and your family for the festive season. 🙂

Thanks, milkman, dan, wp and curly. Big congratulations to wp on making two years, dan whose hit a year, curly who's within touching distance of a year, and I'm sure this will spur on the milkman! I felt the need to post today as I'm going on a stag weekend with all my old gambling buddies. Some were with me in Vegas so know that I don't gamble anymore. It will probably come as a shock to them that I have maintained this stance since then. We've got a table booked at hove greyhound races (glamorous I know!) it comes with table service for bets/ drinks etc....so there will be no sneaking off to 'pretend' that I'm placing a bet. I think i'm just going to say 'I don't gamble anymore because I'm useless at it'......very true! I just felt the need to come on here and sharpen my mind. Sometimes I can feel myself slipping into old mindsets. Getting these thoughts down will stop them in their tracks. Russ

Stag weekend completed. I'm still feeling rough, but pleased to say I was gamble free. The casino and dogs were visited. The casino was a strange experience. In the past I would have been buzzing in there, running around each table, feeling the chips in my hands etc etc. This time, I was so so bored. I was seeing a casino from a non gamblers view. I ducked out for some food knowing full well that nobody will have moved from the tables in the time I was away. Only one person asked my why I wasn't playing....he said 'you love all this don't you russ?'. I then had to have that difficult conversation about addiction.....not the best. He then went on to apologise about organising the next night at the dogs. Hardly his fault! The dogs was a strange one. Again, dog racing is pretty dull when you've got no cash on it. We had table betting service....everybody else on the table placed their bet in front of each other. I just kept my head down. Nobody asked or seemed to care.....why would they? They were all drunk by this time and just enjoying the ***. After 4-5 races the majority had lost their money and it became a drinking night out again. These types are night are few and far between and I'm just pleased to be through it. It would have been nice to have been able to enjoy a few bets like everybody else...but we all know where that leads. Over and out for now. Russ

Russ,

Well done to you. Keep an eye out over the coming days too. I know you are strong but those addiction thoughts are very cunning. There sure is a sense of strength to be gained for having a good night and not giving in to temptation.

I had a challenge at the weekend. We were playing golf on the annual turkey shoot. Normally the lads I play with do a few quid on the front nine, a few quid on the back nine and a few quid overall. In addition there are minor bets on par 3's.. more for interest and banter than anything else. I have said for the past 18 months that I'm not betting on my golfing ability any more. It has worked very well and nobody pushes it. Maybe they suspect something.

The golf on saturday was entrance which included a fiver per man for the turkeys. It couldn't be avoided, without causing a big hassle and recalculation on the part of the organiser (we had to confirm in advance etc..)

Technically I'm telling myself that its not gambling and I'm comfortable that I can deal with it OK. Still, I'll hang around on these boards for the next couple of days before I get it out of my system.

GA will say that buying a raffle ticket is gambling. Some will just donate a couple of quid instead. Its definitely a grey area but its how the person handles it thats impotrant not a prescriptive way of doing things. I might mention it at my GA meeting tomorrow... I reckon I want to in the whole honesty thing. I don't want to be told that I've technically gambled though.

Feeling great to be out of the gambling bubble. Life is sooooo much sweeter.

Have a very happy Christmas.

Brian

well done russ.just shows the longer we go in recovery the stronger we are at fighting them gremlins mate. you as well as i know it takes that split second of madness.best wishes for the festive season..w.P

All the best Russ

Hello Marrah and happy xmas!

Good to see the 'good' Russ still going strong. Had a few minor urges myself but gets easier to bat away and use similar line with pals ' im a S***e gambler so dont bother any more '

Have a good one. P

Happy New Year Russ

Its been a while but i wish you all the very best in 2012..

I enjoyed reading your account of your nights at the dogs and the casino.

It's a shame we can't be like 'them', isn't it? I mean your friends, who just have a bet on a night out. I know now that I'm a CG, and a binge one more specifically, but there have been times in my life (although not many) when I've gone to a horse meeting with a group of friends and had a smalll gamble and a lot to drink, and enjoyed myself without the demons appearing. (I'm sure it helps that horses wasn't my thing, so it did seem like a different from of gambling).

Unfortunately, it was at least 10 years ago now, and I know that one small slip would start the ball rolling again - so I don't and can't do it.

Anyway, congrats on your prolonged and continuing gamble-free life!

Jim (formerly mm)