Done it again

Good luck on ur jounery day 1 is over for me but I'm full of panic n anxiety I feel sick at thought of having to walk past bookies not sure I can do this but I'm going to give it a try

Hate fobts

I hope you replace the money in your wallet with passport photos, whenever you pass a bookies go in self exclude.

Gift your recovery by shutting the opportunity to gamble out.

I only gambled in 3d,the bookies, pubs,live racing so on and so forth the fobt my nemesis.

For me the reality is they are a £ 500 dream breaker

The actual prize on offer bares no great meaning

I simply graduated from putting my wages in a fruit machine to eventually spinning a ton every thirty seconds chasing a miniscule prize

When the once in a blue moon they did roll in did I dance around the shop with my new found riches?

Did I f**k,it just meant five more spins.

I like every compulsive gambler lived by a mantra

I cannot win because I cannot stop.

Seek change, without it the cycle will continue.

As for luck, in recovery you don't need it, recovery is a re education of the mind

A choice for life, I guess like me your luck ran out a long time ago, mine went on the first ever spin of a fruit machine and the £4.20 in tokens that ensued.

Yes I fed them straight back in.

I hope you stick around, use your diary to help with your own recovery.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

thanks both. Dunc so much sense, i too graduated from fruit machines to sports betting to the dreaded fobts.

Only really noticed problem gambling around 8 years ago when i started earning more money but when i look back even in college i would spend Thursday dinner times on the fruit machines often losing a weeks wages(albeit part time) in an hour on £6 jackpot machines.

Had to Lol at the winning of tokens, crazy!

Well i've got almost to the end of day 1, all cards are out of the wallet and i will carry no cash. self exclusion has been done.

Been thinking alot today but for something i thought i had in control i really didnt and the big roulette loss was brewing.

My under control added up to a minimum of £25-30 a week with most weeks being more like £60-90. Only two wins in the past 3 months, of approx £250.

I've decided every weekend instead of putting a bet on i will give my wife the money to put into an account for a holiday. It will soon add up so at least i'm getting something from it

I cannot win because i cannot stop, remember the horrible loss, the less i gamble the luckier i get!

well i am through my first totally gamble free weekend in a long while. Not a penny spent on it, decided to put the money into a money box and away to be used for something more productive. Feeling better for it too.

I've been mulling over the past few months and something i thought i had under control i really didn't as i'd waste odd fivers or tenners on scratchcards, lottery or silling little bets which never really had any hope of coming in. Even if the big bet had come in i know for a fact that it wouldn't have been long before the bookies had the money back anyway.

Still i'm here to keep the memory of the big loss in my mind, remember the the feeling after it. The less i gamble the luckier i get!

Hi,

It sounds like there are a lot of similarities in our stories. I grew up in an era of £4.80 token jackpots. I then followed the well trodden path of bookies, casino and then the dreaded FOBTs. I'm here on day one about to self exclude from the local bookies and I've arranged my first counselling session for Thursday. How are you getting on so far?

Hi Dessie, today is coming up to a week without a gamble. The mist is starting to clear a little and i've let go of the money i've lost. Some parts of me think go and have a gamble but i'm just at the point where i can't even be bothered but i've lost so much. THe only time i've ever been winning was when i have been playing £50-60 spins on the roulette, i'd go in and have a few spins and sometimes walk away £200 up, maybe have a few days of that but then lose and do the lot in, so as the saying goes i couldn't win because i couldn't stop.

Got lots going on in the next 6 months with moving house so this is really added incentive to keep my finances in order. Every bit of debt i have i think is caused by gambling so take away that and it should come down. If i want to treat myself i will instead of trying to gamble to win something. The amount of times i've thought about winning £70 for a new shirt and it end up costing me £300 is ridiculous.

I've got to keep myself switched on tho, i carry very little money and no cards so that takes away the temptation.

Hope you're doing well

The less i gamble the luckier i get!

Yeah I've had too many experiences of trying to win a small amount but losing a fortune in the process. I now think that its just a devious way our addiction convinces us its ok to gamble. It was a recent such experience which helped bring me to my sesnses. I popped out to buy some ice cream to treat my partner. I thought id win the

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Contd..... Fiver which would cover the cost of the ice cream and make it a free treat! I put fiver on both the first and second dozen's to win the £5. To cut a long story short I lost around £800 when 3rd dozen came up 7 consecutive spins! Oh well day two done and I've got my first counselling sesh tomorrow. Think they'll have a field day with me!!!

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Glad it's not just me who's done this. I put my gambling down to greed sometimes. One feeling I do miss tho is having a free weekend or free night out from ur winnings. Only problem is when like you say you pay a few hundred quid for some bloody ice creams.
Anyway tomorrow is coming up to two weeks gamble free.
I don't miss it too much as it's still raw, looked at the football results tonighr and thought they would've won me a few quid. But more than likely would've been greedy and put man city in and they would've lost me a load. Anyway I haven't gambled so I'm up. Some good things have come my way on the weekend so the less I gamble the luckier I seem to get. Long may it continue.
I haven't done a month of no gambling for a few years so that is my next milestone

Day 14 and no bets. Read on somebody else's diary it takes 21 days to break a habit. That's my next target altho I think it'll take longer to break my terrible habit

Well have woken today and have had some thoughts of gambling. Maybe it's the rugby world cup starting but never less one little bet will send me spiralling.
I read through a diary yesterday which had a profound effect on me, 5 years on the guy hadn't made any progress and will still up to the same tricks. I felt incredibly sorry for them but also thought that is what I have been like for the past 8 years! It's time to make a change. By only stopping 2 weeks I've seen my finances improve so where will I be after 6 months? Hopefully in a better place.
Have a good weekend all.

The less I gamble the luckier I get

Well i'm at day 20 and some of the feelings on the weekend of gambling have passed. I'm almost through till payday and for the first time in a long time i have over £250 left in my account, just shows how much you can fritter away.

I've started back to the gym to give myself some other targets, a stone off off by December.

Lots going on next year so really need to get my finances in order by then

Well done mate , and congratulations on day 20 , stay strong Buddy !

Well i've had a wobble today, argued with the mrs this morning, it's payday and have been mulling over going to the bookies all day. Really fancy just putting a few football bets on and was literally just going to leave and go to the bookies but have somehow talked myself out of it. It was a thought of just losing everything that is good in my life to this stupid addiction i wouldve been straight back to square one.

Usually i'm like a heroin addict when i get it in my mind, i need to go to the bank after work so will be on guard not to do anything stupid.