Dormant

S, I humbly think everyone on here are budding Isaac Newtons.

It's a honest program.

I feel I'm slowly coming through a weekend where I could of done my bollxx on a unhealthy obsession. A mixture of anger, regret and even lonliness.

I did have a few beers on Sunday, not a great deal but realising that im getting older. I also had a joint, something I know as with gambling I've burnt a bridge there. My denials logic says that once a week is ok, but I know I don't trust that voice. Progress, none the less.

I have a awkward 24 hrs coming up and should know no later than tomorrow morning about a job. Am confident about working just as I'm confident about Abstaining , but it's the right fit im after.

That's me today, slowly getting back on dry land.

" you're a smart lady"...thanks, I like that. Coming from such a smart man, it's a real compliment.

Sounds like you've had a good start to your day. Not sure about all the birds though...haven't you seen the Hitchcock film? And above you say "slowly getting back on dry land"...starting to worry you've actually been swimming with them:) New obsession or not, there are limits.

Will this job be the right fit? Is it one you want? At least you know that by this time tomorrow, you'll have their answer. You also know that you're strong enough to deal with whatever that answer is.

Enjoy the painting. LB x

Hai LB, thanks! I do think it's possibly one of many good fits. I've been both the interviewer and interviewee these past few weeks. And I've liked the language 2 out of the 3 interviews so far.

Anyway before I get covered in paint, thought I'd share what I heard on talk sport last night, with Clark Carlisle and Frank Bruno daughter. By all accounts this Thursday is Mental health awareness day; trying to remove the stigma!! My humble is we're in the wrong century before we remove that particular stigma.

But a line from Clark resonated.

We've all got mental health equally to physical health it's just on a sliding scale .. simples

A repeat coming up.

Obsessions are not bad, I use to, upto a few weeks ago think they were.

My descent into gambling was a natural progression from a quite healthy obsession with numbers. Who knows, if I'd carried on with the numbers my sliding door would of taken me on a completely different direction. I may be completely wrong, but it doesn't matter! It's what my digging and addiction educations conclusion I came too....

Umm obsessions, difficult one, my own humble opinion for me is they are not healthy for me, they run along side with me, with possessiveness, (in my eyes same family lol.

Love your thoughts Paul, they get me thinking and then analizing myself, keep them coming my friend.

Suzanne xxx

PS too many s's in possesiveness, but Dr Google would not do spell check ohh lol:)))

Hey amigo:))

Question for you? you don't have to answer straightaway lol, but I was thinking of this thought for myself, and you for some reason immediately came to mind:))

What are you competitive in, that is if you are a competitive person, (but you will be that is another lie from this horrible addiction.)

No answer allowed on a postcard lol, our postman always gets the wrong address.

xxx

I could have wrote that post about me V, and can add more, great reply :)),

I put being competive in the same family as the other two, obsessiveness , and possesiveness,, (my own thoughts ofcourse)

We are human beings my friend, the majority of the human race has similar feelings, but they don't see beyond their nose, we do see beyond our noses :)) ok painful at times, but we are doing it, and we should be proud of ourselves.and not be self critical, :))

Sxxxxxx

Competitive, obsessive and possessive very human traits, but maybe as addicts we never channelled them right? Maybe time to start doing.

Have just returned from watching Revonant. Wow, wow.

Anyway tonight's thoughts, im thinking of emigrating to North Korea. Now, I'm sure some will think, thank f**k for that! ☺ Also agreed with the logic of Pol Pot, he was just too extreme.

Anyway, no gambling.

Regards the revonant.

I wished wrote:

Hey amigo:))

Question for you? you don't have to answer straightaway lol, but I was thinking of this thought for myself, and you for some reason immediately came to mind:))

What are you competitive in, that is if you are a competitive person, (but you will be that is another lie from this horrible addiction.)

No answer allowed on a postcard lol, our postman always gets the wrong address.

xxx

Great question 🙂

Is there such a thing as recovered, Or is it always recovery? That raged into an argument a few years ago on these diarys.

I'm struggling with denial this morning. I think we tend to think that denial from gambling is the only thing we need to battle through but I believe far from it. And, I guess quite obviously that's where stripping back the skins of a onion comes into it.... This latest denial comes from my dentist visit yesterday, it's understandable that dentists don't like smokers but they tend to forget we're human as well. Oh well, them thoughts banished. Another bed I need to lay in.

Another bit of anxiety crept in as I wait phone call. Little man lost syndrome, I think creeping in despite my height.. Truthfully my addictive brain thinks Abstaining is enough and just live in my misery and never give my self the chance to reach my full potential! But, thats another thought banished to thought heaven. I owe it to my self.....

My painting didn't go well yesterday. In fact it didn't go at all. TODAY, After feeding the ducks, im going to be the Picasso I know am, in the company of getting back on the work horse if I don't get the phone call I want........

Its overcast but it will pass.....

The Revenant

Duck, swans and Canc geese are cool ok

volcano wrote: Is there such a thing as recovered, Or is it always recovery? That raged into an argument a few years ago on these diarys. I'm struggling with denial this morning. I think we tend to think that denial from gambling is the only thing we need to battle through but I believe far from it. And, I guess quite obviously that's where stripping back the skins of a onion comes into it.... This latest denial comes from my dentist visit yesterday, it's understandable that dentists don't like smokers but they tend to forget we're human as well. Oh well, them thoughts banished. Another bed I need to lay in. Another bit of anxiety crept in as I wait phone call. Little man lost syndrome, I think creeping in despite my height.. Truthfully my addictive brain thinks Abstaining is enough and just live in my misery and never give my self the chance to reach my full potential! But, thats another thought banished to thought heaven. I owe it to my self..... My painting didn't go well yesterday. In fact it didn't go at all. TODAY, After feeding the ducks, im going to be the Picasso I know am, in the company of getting back on the work horse if I don't get the phone call I want........ Its overcast but it will pass..... The Revenant

Yes recovering v recovered. Many a discussion on that but the answer is within each of us. Some of us may be able to control our gambling whilst some may not. This is a destructive and progressive disease. It doesn't take prisoners so be wary Volcano, but make sure you have a bit of fun with it 🙂

No problem Paul , I 'm a classic example of looking at the bits and Reading things out of context ! Take care my friend !

Respect Alan. My heart has been warmed by human nature twice in the last few minutes...

Your right Paul I just think it's more about giving an unbiased opinion , instead of the it has to be this way stance ! I'm all for everyone having a rite to there own opinion but draw the line at having it rammed down you throat !