Ty Duncan and ExD, always chuffed to see your names pop up on this diary.
You've had me thinking there Dunc's. Work to live Vs live to work, have never managed to balance them out. I know im good at my job, yet i also know i take a lot of chances. I also know that in the grand scheme of things im irrelevant, the job always finishes. Im struggling in the slothiness, slipperyness and greed of my pm, quietly im taking him on and i know im walking a thin line. Why the f**k am i doing it, why can't i turn a blind eye? He made it personal and i see the fear in him as he knows I'll be a hard man to shift without exposing more of what a P**k he is. Confused on this one???
Living today as i sit on a riverbank feeding the ducks and living the dream. Tired, a lal sad, thoughtful yet contented.
Reading about kenny samson and his adictions and park bench life stile. Guess when you spend a life time being addicted to your sport and winning. w*f do you do when that finishes? Guess in a similar way im doing pretty much the same thing, a life time of gambling, its pretty obvious im going to switch. Abstinence a great starting point but need to see a end, a goal worth fighting for.. What the f**k is that though.
Forward, backwards, sidewards i plod along.
Thanks V
Our posts crossed over so my last one not in response to yours...
I guess you suffer from the same thing as I ...which is learning to pick your battles rather than fighting all Injustices ...
It takes me less energy to confront total f*****t k **b jockeys and have the discomfort of a showdown than it does to hold in what I actually think...I could literally burst.
Not into setting people up either in work so that's ruled out ...wish I was more slippery,
We bat on eh?
Xx
Ps
If I could also turn a blind eye I would be shacked up in suburbia , 2 kids and a husband ...sadly I also do not possess the blind eye gene..
Realised too late in life that most marriages are a trade off and honesty has nowt to do with it...for a "happy" life I got my foundations wrong ...I also should have gone for the money thats what intelligent women do....
Its all a game ...i cant play the game and I don't want to.
Xx
Completely agree Rach. 'It is all a game'. Its just finding the right peeps who play the same game. Sounds easy but its f*****g not.
Dear diary
Had a call during the week and a top 5 pal is weeks away from identical twin girls. . .wooo scary, 2 bodies 1 soul. He's a nice chap and chuffed for him, he's moving back to s. Africa soon, so selfishly for me a future holiday destination with a guide to boot. Irrelevant, i know. But there peeps out there who know how to play the game.
Had a few urges yesterday as i wallow in surrey burbs, crazy really. Sat next to the Thames, watching peeps live and im thinking about gambling. Never acted out my thought, so i guess good on me. Thought to much about fat slothy f**k. It was my day off and im thinking about him, so i guess its me who is the P**k.
A brand new day to navigate and think its going to be a good one
I also have spent too long thinking about fat slothy fooks ....lol
I must also be a P**k..
R and D xx
Yo,
Thank you for your message of support , amazing this site 🙂
Humm was thinking bout voodoo dolls , pins nothing better to see a fat sloth f*****k deflate .
Know it's difficult coz I spent all day yesterday obsessing bout my boss and work. Even though I am signed off for another week, but managed today to seal it way at the back of my brain , where to be honest is where work issues need to be once we step over the threshold .
Easier said than done , I know , but hay doesn't mean it ain't worth a try .
Truely hope today has been a fantastic day for ya !
Shiny xxxxxxxxx
Hey volcano, good on u for another day of not acting on your thoughts - we all have fat ugly priks in our lives. The one I work with could out do most. Used to let him wind me up but realised karma has his own game to play and that is one I know I will win at eventually! Hope u r doing well, take care and big hugs, moving on x
Paul.
Fella look at it from another angle.
That P**k saved you having a punt!!
He is the new block in your life, shake his hand and thank him for me!!!
He did do some good.
No bet for the honourable Paul.
Sir i salute you.
Duncs twisted mind will always find the light.
Oh no that's the boss on fire lol
stepping forward never back.
Well good to hear ya been keeping your nose clean. Hell cant seem to get much past pay day and back to day one. Good for you and sucks to be me again. Show me the way bud.
Hey V
A few days off from the coalface coming up..but you will know all about that being an ex miners son and all that!
The blood of the north oiling the cog wheels of the south ....lol
Jus messin
Arthur Scargill and dogs x
Thankyou ExD, still at the southern coal face banging on the hoist shouting ' im a southern northerner still as confused as ever'
Anyways back to living the dream with my red sky at night, wish i was a shepherd. House sitting at pals, watching the cyclists on one side and the busy river on the next. Has put a 2 hr trek to work, but balancing it out by leaving work earlier and ariving later.
A fair bit of gambling history surrounding me at the moment and couldn't help looking in the open door as i walked by, heart went out to some poor out f****r sticking his pension in them f*****g fbot's. f*****g machines sucking all ages and duly destroying all around, f*****g Nazi bastatds machines.
Selfishly, still gamble free
Hey volcano, thanks 4 ur post and glad u r still gamble free. One day at a time... And however dark they feel sometimes at least they don't have the same gambling hangover as the gambling days did. Keep up the good work and thank you for the support, really does mean a lot to me x
Good to see you looked in the shop door and walked away and one day you will probably not even think to look...
Perhaps what you saw is a vision of a future that will not be the same for you as you are taking those daily steps away from all that ball S***e...as you call it.
R and D xx
Ty Rach, think it was a vision and so determined, not just on the gambling but also opening my eyes and appreciating what life I've got.
Throwing myself to hard into work and now exhausted mind and body. Staying on my toes and looking forward to switching off forfew days. A office and site full of allies but can't help myself wishing for bad things for pm, would happily stick pin in fat voodoo doll up where the sun doesn't shine.
Have a loveable old one toothed Irish chap at work. He lives on roll ups, guiness and black coffee and im sure his birth cert lies. He loves his gambling but teaches me everyday with his wisdom and most importantly to me ' don't judge a book by its cover, look at its blurb'
My last night of house sitting and away from the front seat of paradise. Everything is on the doorstep if you look hard enough.
A puttered out v v r oo o m
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