facing my fears

Been too busy living to post lately although have had a wee browse of the diaries occasionally.

It has been a great tonic so far having my family staying. My son has so much get up and go and it's very infectious. Wee grand daughter is wonderful!

I feel my motivation is returning and I am climbing out of the rut I seemed to be stuck in. Energy levels are beginning to rise as well - well they do say that activity breeds energy.. seems to be true.

No desire to play poker. On the gambling front,evidently husband not intent on stopping. He handed me a fair bit of money he had won last week. Needless to say I didn't refuse it. It's in my bank account and will be put to good use.

Don't intend to say much on the subject any more, either to him or on here. If he stops he stops if he doesnt..his problem.

Hope everyone is having a good gamble free weekend.

Feeling happy at the moment, continuing to try to put the gambling where it should be..in the past.

Hi Lili,

Great to hear from you again, I haven't seen you for so long.

Sorry to hear about the hubby, you do what you think is best for you and your family.

As soon as I have enough money I am buying the stetson and black trans-am lol

See you soon Sally Field

Burt Reynolds

Cheers Smokey!

Gathering up enough money may take too long. Would a Renault Clio be any use??

Finding these days I have nothing to say about gambling, as I'm not interested in doing it at all. But I'm not being complacent and I'm aware that I'm still in the process of recovering. Definitely getting there day by day. Seems so long ago ..the poker scene, although it was only 3 months ago. My life has changed so much already.

I've struggled a lot with motivation or I should say lack of it and with depression and anxiety. But I feel there is steady improvement. The more I make the effort to do, the more motivated I feel and the happier I feel. I do feel tired a lot, had not been eating properly for a long time, but that is changing and I am eating much more now. Sometimes I've not been sure if I've been just too tired or if I just "couldn't be bothered".

It's all about balance and of course I do need to rest after work.

Anyway life's not perfect, but as I see things getting better I'm worrying less and less so enjoying life more.

lifes not perfect but your last sentence of your post was though lili 😉 thanks for your continued support and we cannae have you at the foot of the 3rd page.....keep it going,we can do this 🙂

Wee update just to keep my diary going. Won't make exciting reading, but will maybe be useful to me looking back at some time.

Looking out of the window and the autumn colours on the trees are amazing!

Had a good weekend out in Glasgow saturday night, dressed as Lily Munster! (who else!!) It was my friends 50th - stretch limo and all! It was so good to enjoy a night out with the "girls". Not usually my scene as I'm far more at ease with men! lol

but great fun - dancing and just being happy - good for the soul I reckon. Beats playing poker any day!!

If you're thinking of gambling today - think again- IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT!!

hi lili, good to hear from you, and great to hear that u are still in good form

thinking we should get round to another meeting? you up for it? Text me with your availability.

Life for me has been so hectic. Not complaining about it, but do regret that i havent been able to keep up with people that i want to keep up with!!!!

anyway, looking forward to a face to face chinwag at some point

love

rusty

xx

exciting reading !!!! great post lili shows your walking away from this evil and loving it 😉 no sure about them trees though,very stressful time for me...the myth is very true aboot leaves on line...its like black ice oot there lol 😀 you take it easy and diaries beating this should be right up there at the forefront...we can do this 🙂

Cheers wp and Rusty

Wow - posting 2 days in a row - must be something in the air!

Rusty, I seem to have lost your number. I thought I had stored it in my phone, but alas..no. Could you text me it again or give me a ring? I'm off today and tomorrow, so maybe could meet up. I won't be dressing up so don't worry! lol

All my household have had a cold and I can feel something threatening but it's not come to much so far. Hope if I ignore it it will go away.

Think I'll pop in to chat this afternoon so may see some of you there.

Been missing the chats - I always enjoy them and have always found the chat room warm , friendly and encouraging..so please let's keep it that way as it can be a great help and support for new and old gamcare buddies. 🙂

Lili, thanks for the post on my diary 🙂

Yup, I'm afraid cricket is one of my many vices, but the deep fried Mars Bars and my Irn Bru drip even things out!

Have a great weekend,

M

It's been 3 weeks since I posted.

Family still here, and snow has arrived now too. Looked beautiful on Friday night as it was falling, but not being able to get my car out this morning and freezing cold feet have somewhat lessened it's joy to behold!

Don't seem to be able to write on here much, not sure why really.

Gambling for me feels a long way off, but think I am still suffering from the hangover. Feel quite alone although I have my family and that is great, but I don't "confide" my personal and emotional problems to them. Can't seem to get through to husband, we seem to be living together but without a common purpose. Sometimes I feel I may as well be single. But I do want our marriage to work - it just isn't at the moment. I'm expected to make all the decisions and do all the planning and it seems like he couldnt care less about too many things.

Moan moan moan, just saying how I feel. He's still gambling of course - yesterday it was my fault he went to bookies, cos I said something that upset him - how inconsiderate of me having a moan about having to do the shopping without him helping!! Better not do that again! Crazy!

Of course I don't take or feel blame for his gambling - water of a duck's back that nonsense, surely he realises that?

Off loading my chest today (although I'm not well enough endowed to be doing that - need all I've got he he)

Keep off the gambling everybody - it's rubbish!!

You got it right there lili!

Gambling is truly rubbish.

The chatroom you enquired about earlier is open and you are welcome.

DD

Hi Lili,

Hope you're well, can you email me at [email protected] regarding what we spoke about the other night.

Thank-youuuuuuuuuu

The Bandit!

Hi Lili

I noticed that you have received encouragement to contact other members privately on your thread.

There is a sticky in other parts of the Forum on the exchange of private contact details and this is an excerpt of this sticky:

"We realise that some people have felt comfortable making public their contact details and that members are in direct contact with each other away from the forum. In the majority of cases this offers an extension of the support and advice received through the Forum and that in some cases leads to the building of significant friendships. GamCare do not wish to to restrict this.

However, feedback has suggested that on occasion contact away from the forum has not been always positive and indeed not always welcomed. This is, and will always continue to be a risk of making public your contact details or responding to a private email.

1) People may not always be who they claim to be. Whilst we hope that all members of the Forum are genuine and of good intention, making your contact details public means exactly that - anyone online, anywhere in the world at any time will know how to get in touch with you. The Internet is a reflection of society, good and bad. Be sure that you are happy to accept that you may be contacted by strangers if you put your details online or if you respond to an invitation to do so.

2) The environment we create here is as far as we can hope a safe one. We regulate, we moderate and where necessary intervene and edit or remove messages. Why? We do it to protect what we perceive to be the collective best interests of our visitors - you. Private contact away from the Forum cannot be managed in this way. GamCare are powerless to resolve conflict or disagreement, we cannot put a stop to unwanted contact or inappropriate messages.

The vast majority of members and visitors to this site are commited to their own recovery or commited to supporting others in recovery. Occasionaly a member or visitor seeing contact details or seeking contact may approach that member to serve some other interest. Again, this can cause conflict or be unwanted by the recipient.

So, if you choose to post your contact details or respond to someone away from the Forum please keep in mind the need to manage and validate any contact with other members. "

Kind wishes

Gabriele

But Gabriele it's me the smoke machineeeeeeeee lol

Unless your system accepts multiples of the same name, there is only one Smokey33 and I haven't spent 5 months of chatting to lili in the hope I might gain her mail address.

But I understand why you post these warnings.

Smokes out

thank you my friend from back home...i know you still read these pages and yes one day that drink may be a reality when im back at my parents...for all we know weve probably met in the same pub...best wishes to you my friend,we can do this 😉