Today is 3 weeks and 1 day gamble free….
Yes, it doesn’t sound a lot! But I’ve never gone this long through my own choice/self restraint.
I attended my first ever GA meeting a few weeks ago. I had all these stereotypical thoughts of what it would be like. Shamefully, I assumed it would be full of s**m, but the people were normal and nice. They had families and jobs and were real people. It was honestly a totally surreal experience. The stories ranged from situations I considered not as severe as my circumstances but also those than seemed far graver. There was no judgment and I felt so decompressed. I genuinely cannot put into words how valuable it was discussing and listening with people that plainly understood the struggles.
The steps had almost put me off as they seemed heavily religious in nature, but my concerns were settled by other members in the group.
I have attended a few meetings since and feel confident that I will continue to so. Unfortunately, I missed my first ‘Steps’ meeting as I was away for my birthday but I’ve read through all the literature.
If anybody is reading this and is terrified to go for the first time, let me say this….
Walking through that door for the first time is terrifying. It may feel totally bizarre to go round in a circle, say your name and admit you are a compulsive gambler out loud. It really does help. Listening is just as helpful as talking.
Thank you for this I literally have my first meeting tonight and I am s*#ting myself. But this has give me a bit more confidence.
@vge5rb460o good morning. Thank you for replying. I feel so different today. I couldn't have asked to meet a nicer group of people. I literally cried through the whole session and I see things so differently today. I'm looking forward to my next meeting. 6 days free of gambling. How you feeling today ? Xx
I am so glad I have finally seen a post that talks up GA. It's totally awesome and stick with it! Yes of course it's scary the first time but it really does help a lot and set you up for the long haul away from gambling.
All the best to everyone
Dave101
Hi
When I attended my very first ever GA meeting I was petrified and felt so scared.
Yet once we get in to it and the recovery we are humbled to be an equal to all people in the room the truth seems simple we all want the same thing.
At first I thought if I stopped gambling I would be happy.
For me abstaining was just the start of my healing my pains and reducing my fears.
Once we understand we all have lost far more than money in our addiction.
The simple truth was that money was just the fuel for my addiction.
In time you will heasr people say you have to do this or that.
I found I did certain thing at certain times because I was ready for it.
In time I gave up focus on money lost and being in action.
I opened up to sharing therapies.
I got focused on the solutions rather than talking about the symptoms.
For me I got to understand that I was in the meetings to heal my pains and reduce my fears.
It is very true how ahrd it was struggling to find much healthier ways in living my life.
I use to react to the constant mention of religious lines.
I am a non religious person but do understand I live a much healthier spirtual life today.
The very simple truth si that my conscience is based up on spirtual values not religious values.
I can say that I was very scared going in to my frist meeting.
Yet over time I understand we are all there to find much healthier lives with out our addictiosn and obsessions.
The person I feared getting honest with was my self.
The internal questions what have I done.
If I am honest people will leave me.
And time once I got focused on working my recovery.
Handing over finaces to my lovely wife.
And dedicated my self to attending meetinsg no matter what happened I would find a healthy resolve to all of my issues.
I have attended a few meetings since 1969.
I am 30 years clean.
If I have not gambled in over 30 years why go to meetings today.
For me people that go to meetings once they abstain from unhealthy habits want much healthier lives.
Pains healed, fears reduced and faced, reduced my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.
Because of therapies and my therapies I have talked about every event in my life before my addictions and obsessions I do nto fear talking about any thing in my life.
With my pains healed my hurt inner child comes out to play nearly every day.
My education was adversely affected by the pains caused up on me during my child hood years.
The meeting is where we get to find a much healthier life.
Once I identified my unhealthy habits I exchanged them in to healthy habits.
I always use to say I was fine or not so bad.
That was a load of b******t.
In the meetings my hurt inner child came out in the open.
The simple truth is you find a very healthy meeting and you stick with it and invest time and effort in to your recovery you will not only abstain from gambling you will in time heal the hurt inner child in you.
In my time in recovery there has been one person that did not talk untill they had attended meeting for 4 months.
There has been another person that did not talk untill they had attended meeting for 6 months.
Healthy meetinsg will allow you to sit and listen as long as you need to.
Yet we do open up we reduce our fears and our trust grows.
Clean time can not be lost.
Every time I went back to my addictiosn and obsessions I found the only place for me was back at the meetings.
I use to hear sighs of people when I told them I had gobe back to addictions, yet found out the sighs were not dissapointed in me, they were in fact feeling my pains.
One question I asked when did I know that I was ready to go to counselling.
I was told that once my fears reduced I was ready to see counsellors.
Yet that was my choice.
I have had eleven counsellors and some of them helped me heal so much trauma in me it was very powerful.
By living alif with reduced fears I have more intimacy with my self and with my family.
I do think that intimacy is an important part of my healing process.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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