First steps

Had a relapse just over 2 weeks ago now. I am going to learn from it though and not carry cash cards for a while. New year new gamble free me!

Dickyo

About 3 weeks now without gambling. I have set myself a few targets, as in clearing debts etc.,

In just these last few weeks I could have got further into debt so I have achieved something.

Feeling positive this time. The time, money and opportunity have all been there but I have managed to resist.

Good luck all

Dickyo

Not keeping an exact log of how long its been, but struggling at the moment to stay away from the slots! I seem to be able to go a month or so feeling really strong and positive then the thoughts start creeping back. I was even dreaming of gambling last night. Just when you think you have this thing beat, it comes back and you can't think about anything else.

I know if I gamble I will only loose as I have rarely been able to walk away after winning. Hopefully these feelings will pass soon!

Stay strong people

Dickyo

I just wish I could flck a switch and stop gambling like I am sure anyone reading this does. Life would be so much better without this terrible addiction, which makes you skint, in debt, sad angry, like a loser as it is in control and overall worthless! I have to stop! We all think just one good win then I'll stop. Need to realise that one win will only lead to more and in the long run has cost hundreds of times more to get there, which has dragged me under its control.

Day 1! This is going to be the last day 1 I'm ever going to write. I will post every day.

Good luck and best positive thoughts to those reading this in the same situation. Yes we feel stupid right now but we can gain control and start feeling normal again.

Dickyo

Hi Dickyo, what are you going to do differently to ensure this is your last day 1? Every post so far seems to be linked only to willpower...You need proper barriers & help figuring out why you gamble do you can re-set your switch!

As you say, we're not bad people & can regain control but just like when you quit smoking, you simply have to stay away from that 1st bet!

C'mon why don't you give counselling/therapy/GA a go to provide you some support & make this one count - ODAAT

Thanks for the advice ODAAT

Like everyone else on here I just feel so ashamed and feel so much self hatred its unreal. Non of my family know as I thought my problem wasn't that bad. I realise that now it is. I am trying to find the courage to tell my wife to be but keep bottling out.

I now keep cards at home so I cannot enter details on gambling web sites or draw cash to play on fruit machines.

Dickyo

Hey you, how you doing?

I wish I could say those plans are great, but you know as well as I do, simply leaving the cards to break your gambling triangle, won't be enough! You have proved time & time again that you can abstain but recovery is about more than that, it is about having control of that switch!

The shame/guilt/embarrassment of coming clean is horrendous but compared to the pain of gambling, it is a small price to pay! Now that you have realised/accepted you have a problem you must get some proper support be it your GP, GamCare, GA. Telling your loved ones will be hard but it will remove the power of secrecy...There is support here for them if they struggle with the information. You may not feel worthy of it but we're not bad people we just took a wrong turn & getting back on the right path is difficult but achievable!

Time to get back in control of your life - ODAAT

Well the last couple of days have been amazing! In desperation Tuesday, after gambling over £1000, I attended my first ever GA meeting. Up until this point I had not told anyone of my gambling problem. The people there were just like me. Normal people who are struggling but all want the same thing. To live a life without gambling.

We are not bad people, we just nedd a bit of help sometimes thats all.

Today is my second day without gambling. Not a massive achievement but still an achievement. I feel so relieved to have spoken with like minded people about my problems and its good to know that support is there.

Having read through the advice leaflets I was given I now think I understand the path I should take to start feeling better about myself. I was feeling hate towards myself, resented my family and loads of other negative feelings.

It is now my intention to try to be a better person in as many ways as possible. By being more forgiving with myself and others, using the time I used to spend gambling by working harder and doing more for my family.

I understand this is very early on in my recovery but I truly feel like I have turned a corner. The rewards are there!

We will never be rich as long as we gamble and not just money and possessions.

Stay strong folks. think about what is important to you and stay focused!

Dickyo

Good stuff walking through them GA doors the best gamble I ever took.

I don't know what it is but the rooms are an amazing place. Make sure you go back and if you can try and get to another few meetings.

KTF

5 days now!

I'm going to try and make meeting tomorrow night as I found it so helpful. Good to know that you can speak with like minded people. The urge is there but is getting easier.

Dickyo

8 days now.

I didn't manage to get to GA meeting tuesday but I do intend to go back. It kick started me into thinking I can live life without gambling.

Life is so much better without gambling. I am starting to feel better about myself and not so guilty. I'm more focused on work and homelife and achieving much more. I have more of an interset in what is going on around me and with other people.

I know that demon will come back to try and tempt me so I need to read this back to myself when it does.

Stay strong and positive guys. Look forward and not backwards!

Dickyo

9 days now

Loads planned for the weekend so won't have time to think about gambling. Filling my time with positive stuff seems to be working.

Dickyo

Ok so had a few minor lapses but just managed 10 days. Still feeling positive.

These slip ups are all part of recovery. We are only human.

Stay strong everyone

Dickyo

Gone 19 days now. The longest in a very long time for me.

I believe that the kick start I needed was going to a GA meeting. Though I have not been to another, it gave me the kick I needed. I do not believe these meetings on a regular basis work for everyone. The brutal truth is I heard stories there that scared the c**P out of me. I could see where I was heading and knew I had to change. I would urge anyone reading this to just attend one meeting. It helps knowing your not the only one and being able to talk to like minded people really helps. People from all walks of life. Just by attending a meeting you are trying to be a better person.

Good luck all

Dickyo O

44 days now!

Kept myself really busy and really enjoying life. I feel so much better and I think I am a nicer person to be around. I feel like I am not snapping at my family like I used too, which was just one of the horrible things that gambling did to me. It made me miserable.

I think this is the longest I have gone in about 5 years without gambling.

Good luck all

Dicky O