What a great idea - i'm going to use this a way of keeping on track. I am determined to beat this.
Day 1
Started the morning by using an online slots game - won £370 and lost it all. Realisation starting to sink in that no matter what I spend, what I win and what I withdraw, it'll always be used on gambling. I wish this was enough to stop the urge in the first place.
Thoughts of the day so far:
Gambling doesn't solve problems - no matter how much you win, it'll always be put back in the pot to gamble away
If you want change, you're the one to have to do it/want it - The only person that can stop this is me. No more self pitying, no more lack of willpower. It has to be me that stops this and only me.
Here is to the rest of Day 1 and starting Day 2 tomorrow a different way.
Day 2 - Gambled last night 🙁 Lost another £50 which is actually a very small loss compared to what I usually can do. Restricted myself after the 50 with a daily limit and this morning went on and self excluded. Wish all online casinos could have a self exclude online - so much easier to just do and forget about.
At the moment feel like im wading through treacle to try and stop this. Just going to take each day as it comes and hope I can stick to it.
The biggest test will be payday in a few days - my self exclusion runs out at another casino and I hope I can just login and self exclude again for a longer period of time this time.
This will be the biggest test for me and I hope I can overcome it. Have written them an email this morning to see if I can just permanently self exclude so hope that's the case.
Determined to not let the failures set me back - my first goal is to be 30 days gamble free - so far ive not managed a day but every day my resolve gets that little bit bigger.
Hate gambling and all these stupid slot games 🙁
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