It all started when a friend of mine brought me to play bingo with his mother ,At that time her mom won and gave us some money from her winning as she said we were lucky. After playing bingo we roam around the casino and watch the different games that were offered in the casino. We then headed back to the slot machine trying to look for her mom as it was a habit that after playing bingo her mom and friends would play in the slot machines. We tried to look for her mom and only saw her belongings in a chair which my friend explained that probably her mom just wanted to reserved the seat. After finding her mom in another corner playing a slot machine ,She said if we can bring her belongings and just use the remaining credits from the slot machines. My friend showed me how easy is it to play the slot machine.
After some days I've downloaded software in my pc and trying to learn to play slot machines like why play maximum lines to get bigger chance of a jackpot on a progressive machine. After having studied slot machine and some research I finally try the real thing in a land based casino with just a budget I can afford to lose ,My first try was that I was once ahead but did'nt stop and it emptied out my wallet ,Got home and felt sick about not quitting when I was ahead at one point. So I decided to go back again with a budget that if I would lose this then Its all over with and i'm done with slot machines. I went to the casino again and played the same slot machine that I recently lose to ,After a few minutes in just playing would you know it that I just won nearly a jackpot like only one symbol would give me a jackpot but still with no jackpot the amount I won was a huge amount. I was such a newbie that I have to ask people around me how to get my prize after pressing the collect button. Then found out that I just have to wait until an attendant comes by, While I was waiting a waitress offered me some drinks but I was so happy that I really did'nt want a drink ,I just wanted to collect my winnings and go home ,An attendant then approached the machine and listed the information and the attendant said just wait as I list the necessary information and come back to escort you to the cashier. After collecting my money from the cashier I was saying to myself that I never want to feel the same way when I lost money and wanting to recover it ,So I stopped playing slot machine from that day on.
After a few months ,I dig some truth about slot machine the probability of winning and about house edge where casino gets a fix percentage where they always profit. I then was intrigued with the game of craps by which it was one of the game in the casino where the house edge was minimal compare to others ,I downloaded software that was available in the internet and even downloaded it on my phone so that I could have a feel for the game.
I went to the casino looking for craps but I found out that the craps table was not operational as it was not as popular in our casino. I was about to go home then I found a color game called Pula Puti which means White or Red ,Its a similar game as the color game in Roullette ,I was just observing and trying to figure out how to play the game. The basic rule was there are three pingpong balls dropped in a funnel by a player and you need atleast 2 balls on the same color to win ,if two balls occupy either a red/white square then that color wins ,A ball that will occupy a square that has a star would mean that a red or white neither wins and only the one that bets the star wins but with a bigger multiple I think its x15 the amount if you hit a star in your betting ,My initial strategy was the Martingale system in playing craps in the free demo software and thought this would also be perfect in this game. Keep betting twice the amount if you lose and would recover your previous loss with a 1 unit profit.
I really though casino can be a constant generating income ,All was great then as I kept winning in every visit from the casino ,I was sticking with my system and had a discipline in walking away from a single win. I counted I have 15 winning streaks until the day the Martingale system would show its downside and no betting system can beat the house edge of the casino. I was not sad when the Martingale system finally failed me ,I was just kinda dumbfounded that all my winnings disappeared using that system including my initial winnings from the slot machine ,I had no regrets as I was discipline enough to win and walk away from every play. Not like the lesson I learned from slot machine where you should walk away once you win as to oppose to regret that you did'nt quit while you were ahead at one point.
I usually just play twice a week but with that loss I had play again the next day and thought to myself what are the chances of me having that same scenario where the Martingale would failed on me. Brillantly enough the next day I have a 7 winning streak and just stopped when I got 1 lose and was able to recover the needed amount to do my martingale where I was comfortable.
This is where I dug my hole ,The suceeding week I played again using my system but to my suprise the system failed on me again and have to get home to borrow money as I'm not comfortable in using my ATM card to supply my gambling habits. Again the money I borrowed from my brother was suck in the casino ,I had some regrets as at one point I was breaking even with the loss I concur the few hours I was there but did'nt stop and lost it all.
Yesterday I played again trying to recover my loss with big starting amount to offset all previous losses if I win but that did'nt happen. I had to use my ATM account today to withdraw money to pay off my brother. I hope this would end my urge to try to cover my losses in the casino ,as the amount that I have lose to casino put a dent on my savings account and i'm not comfortable withdrawing any money from my account once I deposited it. I hope I'll be able to stop myself and not think of trying to recover my losses. I have the urge during 8:00pm as thats the time where I go to casino. I hope this chapter of my life would close and I hope I can become a better person from this experience.
look friend. check what you are writing down.
There is not a living gambler that recovers a loss and keeps it. look at it as a car and money is fuel. Fuel runs out you top up at the station (ATM) and just keep on running until you run out of fuel, and friend YOU WILL RUN OUT OF FUEL. Its just a question of when not if.
You have started to dig a hole with you actions.
You decide how deep you dig. Want a chance to stop before you end up here poor and miserable without home family etc, etc? Take the loss. and don't look back. That all the advice I have for you.
A therapist said once
Its your show. Everything else is on the sideline.You decide how this starts and how this ends .
Good luck.
Criss
It made me sad reading your post as I see th classic cycle of how this terrible (and it is terrible) addiction can start out. A few wins, the thrill, your in control. Some losses but thats ok. Work on some systems, have self discipline. Then the systems start to fail, as they always have done since the birth of casinos. House edge always. Then the chase begins. If only I can get back to where I was last week or last month. THEN I WILL STOP I PROMISE.
More losses will follow - then it starts not being so much fun. I am not lecturing you at all but I will warn you. If you feel you are getting in deep water take control NOW! A very short story :
I knew a man who gambled for fun. Gaming increased, he won and won, then a few losses. Still in control. Then lots of stuff in between. 5 years on 100s of 1000s blown n lost. Almost everything gone. Their is much more to that story - but that man is now broke, almost lost his house, his children and his wife. He is a liar cheat and theif. that man is me.
I wish you well I really do. All the best Blocked.
Thanks for the replies Criss and Blockedout ,Opening up to community channel that is aimed in helping this illness is somewhat a relief that you know people understand and can give you encouraging advice.
8:00pm passby and I did'nt have the urge to go to casino today and have accepted it as a lost and a life expereinced ,I know its hard to totally remove it from my system ,everytime I have the urge I'll drop by these forum to remind me of how terrible and how it can ruined my life. Thanks & Godspeed
Good vincennt very good. What is gone is GONE. it does not belong to you anymore. When you put the money on the table you have agreed win or loose.
Stacks of support here. You only need to really want it. Keep posting. All the best thoughts to you Blocked.
I agree. An important step is understanding is what is lost is lost and won't be won back. It is a vicious cycle. Stay strong. Is possible to exclude yourself or put blocks in place it does help urges as it gives you time to think.
Yep - im echoing everyone else's replies
Gambling is evil, we all start the same way, thinking we can be the ones who beat the system, the money you have played already is lost and chasing it will only dig you a hole like most poeple on here, it just gets deeper and deeper until it takes all you have.
Read through some of the diarys if your still thinking about it maybes it will change your mind
at the end of the day it is your decision wether to continue but I get the impression you already know its not the best option by the fact youve come here.
good luck x
I've always gone to casino on Friday's and Saturdays ,but not yersterday as I kept myself busy playing games ,I will again try to resist it tonight. I still have thoughts and urges in improving my system and thinking of maybe this time I'll recover my losses. I know its bad ,I have plans on spending an upgrade on my pc as that was my hobby before I got addicted to casino. I keep reminding myself that money loss is gone and you paid for it with a life experience gain.
I've been reading alot of stories on the web and its only when your so deep that you either stop or when you lose everything ,This too keeps me into perspective as I really can't afford to lose again ,I'm hoping for the best.
Visiting this thread really helped me yesterday and keeps reminding why I should stop.
Hi Vincennt some of the problems with wanting to overcome this addiction are directly related to changes habbits. You say you always visit casinos fridays / saturdays - thats a danger zone for you. If you know the weakest points that lead you to gamble you can start to change that habbit and the thought pattern thats leads to the gambling. You did well resisting yesterday and today you can do it again.
Its hard I know - somtimes almost overwhelming but it can be done. Keep in there and keep posting. All the best to you Blocked.
Been casino free for 7 days ,Its getting much easier and feeling much better not going to casino. I never want to feel the same way again. Tomorrow I will receive my whole months salary ,I already have plans on how to spend it and it does not include gambling. Wish me luck
c43h wrote: look friend. check what you are writing down.
There is not a living gambler that recovers a loss and keeps it. look at it as a car and money is fuel. Fuel runs out you top up at the station (ATM) and just keep on running until you run out of fuel, and friend YOU WILL RUN OUT OF FUEL. Its just a question of when not if.You have started to dig a hole with you actions.
You decide how deep you dig. Want a chance to stop before you end up here poor and miserable without home family etc, etc? Take the loss. and don't look back. That all the advice I have for you.A therapist said once
Its your show. Everything else is on the sideline.You decide how this starts and how this ends .
Good luck.
Criss
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