gambling for years and still trying to stop );

well just an update as i have not posted for 12 days

have reached day 28 which must be the best i have done all last year almost a month.

had only one urge but redirected my though to diffrent things and found after a while it dissapeared,am getting used to not

losing all my money and i like it

onwards and upwards

happy new year all

mark

4 weeks Mark 🙂

Great work! Keep doing what you're doing - ODAAT

well im sorry to say i sneaked back to gambling managed to last 36 days,had money in my pocket

lost 2000 in the last 2 weeks, very upset with myself and let everyone down

36 days is the longest i have ever done.

feeling very sad and angry.

last gamble was yesterday so today sunday is day one.

hope im stronger this time

its strange when i was not gambling i always had money was not checking my bank every day or even worrying about money

i felt so much better. why do i put myself thrugh this torture

ok so back to day one again, have put blocking program on pc and closed the new accounts i had. been to the bookies and self excluded also joined the 2015 challange

feeling i can beat my previous record of 36 days

thanks NT i will treat myself on day 37 so somthing to look forwards to

but will not treat myself to a punt

well not podted for a while and you all know why

been gambling again,everyday

just cant seem to stop

i must stop from today 19/02/1015

the most i have reached was 31 days i think so will use that as goal

very P****d of and angry with myself, but am feeling positive

i went home to get some more money but decided not to

so at least thats a good start

cant gamble online anymore as i have betfilter which is very good

day one tommorow

Well done for not going back to get more & prolong the agony!

Can you selg exclude from the one today just to break your triangle & remove temptation until you get a bit of strength back?

Look back @ how brilliant you felt when you were in recovery! You can do this - ODAAT

ok so today (sat) is my first day of not gambling (again)

played online last night, even i installed betfilter installed, i just recover my pc from a system image

i have saved and woooo im ready to punt. in less than 5 mins

lost £200.00 last night found a new site

so today i delited my backup so if my pc goes t**s up i have to do a full reinstall of windows

which takes a couple of hours. and is very borring so that should help

i have thought alot about my gambling and i really think i have never had any way of winning,

its always the same i gamble i win i gamble some more i lose i chase i lose more this has been my life for 30 + years

and its time to stop

when i dont gamble i have money in my pocket

if i gamble my wallet is always empty.

so anyway counting the days

today back to number 1.

Hi mjb,

We cannot win because we cannot stop, well done on not giving up giving up.

Day 1 is a great start to change your life and you can do this

Stay strong.

Suzanne xx

Hi Mark, just dropping by to tell you you can do this! I have no idea what you were talking about in regards to the computer in your last post but it sure sounds a lot harder to mess up now! You should write the last bit down & carry it with you...You (as we all are) were much happier in recovery! I'm checking out for a bit so just want people to know so they don't feel like I'm abandoning them!

Never give up giving up! Stay strong & you can beat this - ODAAT

thanks ODDAT

well managed to do a system restore to remove betfilter and lost again,i am so stupid

so have reinstaled betfilter and delited all y system restore points apart from the last one so even if i do restore my pc it will still have betfilter on it.

i am so angry withmyself for turning into this crazy person and trying everything so i can gamble online

closed all known accounts and will give my debit card to my girlfriend from tonight.

i will tell her what i have done and hope she understands

i realise now i cannot keep more than £10 in my pocket as anymore i will find someplace i can gamble

its a sad person i am now but if i dont do this i will be on the street with nothing soon,all this just to watch a plastic ball going round in a circle

i need to wake up and face reality this has to stop it is making me crazy

today i hate myself

tm day one (i will not fail)

Hi mjb,

Well done on not giving up giving up,

Take one day at a time, and think I cannot start again because I know I won't stop.

You can do this, if you are 100% committed to stopping,

Suzanne xx

ok so day one out of the way,

joined in the live chat room last night and it was great talked to some really nice people

had urges today was still thinking about the 1100 i had in my account up until last night

but i have to let that go and nove on

hope everyone is keeping up with there goals

put myself back on the 2015 challange if i get accepted to try again so that should help as well

mark

ok hi all and anyone who reads this

forgot to check in yesterday so today is day 3, long way to go to get to my record of 32 days.

had a few urges today but decided to run it of .

so am pleased with my self

girlfriend has my debit cards so cant use that.

keeping buisy and feeling possitive

well failed againand am so angry with myself was doing so well

have spent the last 30 mins emailing all the casinos i can remember i have an account with and banning myself for the 5 year tearm

put betfilter back on and deleted all my system restore points so i cant get if off.

let all you people down myself and my family

lost £800 tonight playing cartoon roulete and slots what a idiot

so anyway tm day one again for me

cash with girlfriend and credit cards

feeling pretty sad angry and tired wanted to hit the wall but that does no good

mark