Gambling- the sure way of getting nothing from something! 11th May 2014

Hi robby well done on your continued progress its brilliant you are nearly hitting the 50 day mark for me it's the biggest milestone as the early days are the hardest so well done buddy, I hope your enjoying the new you, have a great gamble free day.

The bear

6 weeks gamble free today,it seems like yesterday oct 13th.

I'm working thriough the urgres,sometimes I think this oh so easy,next minute I'm checking out odds and I'm on the urge of gambling.

I've noticed I tend to do this when summit P****s me off.

I'm not gona give in to the urges,at least I now think where a win would lead.

I had thoughts of backing a 1/4 horse yesterday,400 to win a quick 100,the horse turned out to be 1/8 and lost,- I was never gona put the bet on but why do I have to tempt myself ?

The quicker I learn to completley let go the better,summit P***** me off and that's what lead me to look at odds etc.

Missus at work this wkd,I'm looking after my 2 littlens,of to c nanny soon,I mite even get a chance for a sneaky pint or 2.

Milestone number 2 in sight 50 days,and I mite just get through xmas without having to borrow!

Keep it going robby I know it's tough I get the same thoughts about making a quick £100 but it spirals down hill from there as we can't stop 🙁 have a nice Sunday mate.

The bear

Well done on the 6 weeks.

I look at the horse racing pages in the papers most days. Most days I can't find anything I would have wanted to bet. Some days I find things. I check the results to see if I would have won. Even where it has I remind myself it would just have been the start of random gambling on everything that moves and a downward spiral.

Can't remember the last time I bet on a horse. But this imaginary cycle of checking is part of my recovery. Check it, think about it but don't act.

Thanks for the posts bear and captain much appreciated.

Day 45 I've had a busy few days,a day off xmas shopping today with the missus, fairly stress free and surprisingly not very painfull financially.

Thanks captain,maybe I've been a bit hard on myself,I'm bound to keep track on racing and sports odds,but as you say as long as you don't act upon the thoughts.

I take on board its part of your recovery cycle checking the results etc,- every ones recovery is unique,its what works for the individual.

I stopped buying papers a long time ago,I still,read racing and sports related websites tho,hopefully it will be a habit that will go with time,I've.lost touch with horse form,my interest in the sport has faded.

I'm chugging along quite nicely,day 45,the urge to gamble has defintly weakened,but I still feel I'm missing summit,filliing the void has always been a prob. Been too busy to start new hobbies or ventures,gona just chugg along till after xmas then think about filling the void.

50 days on monday,bring it on!

Day 46

Another busy day,still checked the racing results,but its just habit,none of the results meant anything. Apart from that I'm feeling good about not gambling.

I really can't see the point anymore,I've gone completley in the other direction,penny pinching,saving money where I can.

Still feel there's something missing in life,but I know its not gambling.

Thanks for the post Robby and well done on 46 days. Can relate to you saying something is missing but it's not gambling. It leaves a void and allows you to look at your life problems and maybe reasons for spending so much time gambling when you reduce or abstain for a while.

I too wanted to gamble for a living as you may have read in much earlier chapters of my diary. I still believe I could have done this based on ability intelligence and knowledge but you can't do it if you are a compulsive gambler.

Who knows maybe I will totally abstain one day but I hope not as my aim has always been sports only affordable bets as a hobby and that's where I am now. In essence I have gone full circle in 30 years as I am back gambling as I did at about 17 where I was never out of control and only bet in advance and would never have spent time standing in a bookies betting everything that moved.

My advice to you is do some self analysis and find out what's missing in your life, that may or may not be connected to gambling. Maybe you will find the answers and fill the void maybe not but if returning to gambling will only make things worse then stay away.

Thanks for the post captain,I think its gona take a while to figure out what is missing,maybe I'm just pining to gamble,I'm probably missing the gambling interaction between my friends,maybe I need a new hobby,having 2 littlens really does take your time,the selfish gambling me probably wants more time to myself,that time I use to gamble,hopefully things will fall into place the longer I abstain.

Another gamble free sat passes,7 wks gamble free 2mo.

I still went thro the rigmarole of looking at the horse odds,- it really doesn't mean anything to me. I watched a bit of racing,watched a bit of the footy scores coming in,but it wasn't life or death that I had to watch a certain race or wait for a team to score.

The arvo was spent normally I suppose,playing with the kids,doing a bit of diy.

All is good,gamblings grip is defintley relenting,I still can't c the point in gambling,hope I never will again.

Out for a few beers 2mo d'time,I'm gona be on me guard.

Interesting that you miss the gambling interaction with friends. Effectively my gambling increased and became problematic as my social life opportunties decreased over the years. As I became more of a loner I spent more time gambling but that felt ok as I was doing something I loved, I just thought for years that was how it was meant to be. Now reflecting I guess I put myself in a situation where I made it difficult to attract friends, kind of a roundabout that was difficult to get off.

So what are your friendships based on? Guys you have known all your life, who you work with, are related to etc and what's the core reason you meet them - for drinking and chat, or to attend stuff together or what? And do they all know you are trying to stop gambling and are they supportive?

For me my past social friends all revolved around playing football so that stopped when the football stopped. Friends from schooldays never kept going beyond leaving school for very long and friends from workplaces lasted only for short periods of time as people moved on. I hope you have lifelong friends. Feel sure I would be in a better place if I had but never happened for me.

Hope your guard doesn't slip today.

Thanks for the post captain,-i agree its the same for me,gambling in recent times has become a lonley hobby,very anti social.

When I say I'm missing gambling interaction between friends im probably looking back in rose tinted glasses- I'm very fortunante to have 4 lifelong close friends,2 of which gamble regularly. Saturday arvos,cheltenham,goodwood,ascot were spent in the pub watching the racing good times were had,that's what I miss, it wasn't all about the gambling.

Its a rare occassion we all get together now due to lifes circumstances,me being a family man now,1 has moved town and other committments.

.

All my friends know I have a gambling problem,I made no secret of goin to ga back in 2000,they don't encourage me to gamble,but the convo mainly does revolve around gambling.

I've tried on countless times to give up,they have heard it from me so many times,I don't expect the convo to change on my behalf.

I suppose over the past 6 years since becoming a dad I've only bet on line,its become more secretive,watching racing just on my own,but I wouldn't say my gambling has gota any worse financially,but the stakes are irrellevant,I've got much more to lose now.

By saying I miss the gambling interaction was probably wrong,I'm missing a socail life,life has moved on and I have to without clinging on to gambling.

I hope as u continue to abstain your social circle expands,perhaps new hobbies or opportunities will help,life does change captain,nothing lasts forever.

No gambling today,meeting up with 3 of my good friends,they may gamble but I definetly will not,even tho I think man utd will win,I can't see the point of winning a couple of hundred only to lose it and considerably more in the future.

Ave a good sunday captain.

50 days up,a mini milestone reached,xmas the next target.

Had a gd arvo y`day,a bit delicate this morning,my drinking days have well and truly passed!

On my guard today,always been vulnerable when im hungover.

Thanks julie for the encouraging post,much appreciated.

Day 52, this really is a daily battle of the mind,some days I think this is a piece of ***,others I'm pulling my hair out gagging to gamble,even tho I know it would be disastrous.

I'm battling against betting on the cricket,I keep telling myself what's the point of winning 200,it would only start me off again,I've been trying to convince myself it would be a 1 off,but would it???

Day 57, had a gd family wkd.

Woke up really buzzing this morning,the happiest I've been for ages.

Financially I'm just about gona get thro xmas I think.

Thoughts of winning a quick couple of hundred have subsided.

I have accepted my situation and I'm dealing with it.

I received an emai from a bookie saying if I didn't log in in the next month they would charge me a admin charge as I haven't used the account in 11 months! As if they don't make enough,theiving robbing b******s,legalised theft. - I didn't even know I had an account with them,I self excluded straight away

I ended up contacting every bookmaker I held accounts with to confirm when my exclusions expire,I'm permantly excluded from the majority,5 year exclusions from the rest,just the 1 offered me to waiver the exclusion- committed to responsible gambling my a**e!!

I'm glad the exclusions are In place,I've tried to open accounts in the past on sites where I've had an exclusion,only for my bets to be voided,they do work. I don't trust foreign sites,I would never use them,terrible prices,slow payments,s***k the exchange rate,hate them.

9 weeks sunday,another milestone,for some reason I've done 9 weeks gamble free several times and failed. Perhaps it takes me 9 weeks to recover financially,I don't know.

Not this time. I've changed

Day 59, - I long for the day I've stopped counting the days,this some times feels like a prison sentence.

I dont want to gamble,this is the good thing,but I've been here before,I need to fill the void- some thing I will have to address after xmas.

I think the pressure of xmas is making these days harder,the temptation to win an extra 200 is immense.

I'm not giving in,I know I will soon feel better for abstaining,especially when I reach the 24th dec.

Just for today I shall not gamble.

Keep at it robby the day will come when you won't have to count no more just keep it going gambling just brings misery we both know that.

Stay strong

The bear