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Morning Sandra

Not been on for a few days so many apologies for the support not been there, honesty is always the best way at the end of the day the only person u would be lying to is urself so u did the right thing , I know it hurts now but in time this will make u stronger

Relapsing is all part of the process in our recoveries some do succeed from day 1 and full credit to them, when we relapse we learn and understand and u will from this, u say u felt it coming explore that avenue look at the triggers why it happened

A while back when my divorce was ongoing and was trying to cope I took my car for what I thought would be a tighten up of the handbrake as I had took it in b4 and had to pay quite a bit to put it right they told me it needed another part to it which was bout 100 quid the only money I had was meant for the solicitors at this one moment in time I drove from the garage straight to the bookies and blew 150 in bout 20mins walked back out and it was done I then had to deal with that mentally to come to terms with what I had just done how was I goin to pay for the car pay for the solicitors beating myself up all the time I couldn't see the wood for the trees, like urself I was honest came on here and admitted it and moved on from it yes it took time went through all the emotions ur goin through now

I assure u they will pass and u will be stronger for it and in time the why and how will be more clearer and most important u will learn from it this slip will prove to be priceless information for ur recovery . I know u won't see that now as neither could I, it cost me 150 quid to learn from mine it will cost u ten quid, either way the money is irrelevant as always after a slip its how we deal with it

That was my last slip as a guess bout 130 days ago but mentally now I accept what happened I accept it could well happen again but I will deal with it and so will u

Sharing what we av is priceless for others in their recoveries and that's what makes this wonderful site work, we can all take something from each other and today I feel proud to be part of that

Absolute full of admiration for ur honesty and draw strength from ur determination these qualities will see u along way and that's something that we both know gambling can take from u

Sandra u didn't let that happen

Castle2

Thank you Castle, your words means so much. I am trying to think why it seemed the last straw for me to turn to gambling. It wasn't something in particular, stress, family problems....but why this time i gave in?...it is still mystery to me..

Dear diary,

Just few lines i found on internet to ease my disappointment in myself...i will let it go eventually....besides it's wise words to be learned from:

"Every disappointment is an opportunity to start over. It’s a blank slate, a clean, white piece of paper. And don’t worry--if this time you still can’t color within the lines, you’ll get another blank sheet, as many new beginnings as you need".

No one is perfect. The human experience is an exercise in collecting disappointments and mistakes, ruminating on them for a little bit, and turning them into wisdom and growth.

Don’t scream at yourself. Speak to yourself with loving kindness, the same way you would to a friend who was just dealt a big, fat, unfair blow. You deserve kindness from everyone, including yourself.

“You can’t wait for the storm to be over. You have to learn how to dance in the rain.”

There is one thing that never, ever disappoints. And that’s hope. Hold onto it forever.

In this crazy world of high tech and high anxiety it is important to realize the power of slowing things down. Life does not have to be a daily race against time. You can choose to live at a gentler pace.

When you engage in the power of slow, you can keep distractions and haste at bay. Slow living does not mean you always crawl at a turtle’s pace. It means finding your custom-made speed and creating a more gratifying life as you pause to savor your experiences more fully.

The first step is to develop a positive relationship with time and a new attitude about how you use the hours in each day.

Inspirational thoughts..

Take care all, have a good day...and just enjoy yourselves...we only live once:)

Sandra xxx

Hiya Sandra sorry to hear of your slip and all the emotion that has come with it. This may sound weird but im glad it effected you so much, it shows how much you hate gambling and in particular yourself when you do gamble. So you know that its something you can never do however small. I think you showed great strength to just leave it there and to not spend that £8 when its staring right at you takes massive amounts of strength - i know i couldnt have done that. Why you gave in, unforetunately its probably just the addiction, its a bloody strong one and it can strike at anytime, you just can never forgot what you have felt over the last 24 hours, remember that when the urges come and you'll be fine. You have to be very lucky to just quit gambling, something in our brains tells us after a long time of abstinence that we can gamble with control because weve shown control over the last 50/100/200+ days by not gambling and thats when a slip can happen. Its a long journey and its a journey of learning and aslong as you have learnt something and use this as another barrier then it could be the best £2 you've ever spent - but just dont ever spend anymore!! Its not the money as you've said its all about how we feel during and after gambling and you dont sound like you've had to much fun over the last 24 hours so i think we know that gambling just aint worth it. You'll be stronger for this, put it to the back of your mind but dont forget. You've made the right decisions getting straight on to this site talking it through getting your feelings out also telling your friend is a wise move. Lies are no good for anyones recovery get it all out and move on, rebuild and it wont be long before your back up to day 100 and beyond. Time flys i cant belive its october already!

Some great qoutes in your last post i could do with living by a few of them a bit more. You've been such a great help to me and im sure to many others. I wish you every success in your journey, stay strong, stay close to the site. I know you'll be ok.

Hi Sandra,

Sorry to hear about your slip but very well done on coming back and being honest with yourself.

Some inspirational thoughts you put there and very very true, See today as your blank sheet, the day to start again just that little bit wiser than you was yesterday.

Take what you have learnt from your slip and use that to make you stronger to stand up and face this fight again.

I learnt and its not just words it resonates in my body, I learnt.. "That i can not ever win, because i can not stop" No matter what i think the result might be, differnet than last time, i will walk away, the outcome is ALWAYS the same, loss, misery, depression, chasing the loss,

It took me 20 years to learn that lesson..... Better late than never eh....

Keep on pushing forward sandra, you can do this.

take care

blondie xx

Thank you Dave and Blondie,

Hi Sandra,

That's the spirit... keep fighting the good fight! ... take care... S.A 🙂

Hey Sandra

It sounds like you have got your spark back a bit today but also feeling for you over your cat and also your last few days that have been tense.

Just wanted to say that you write all you like and as often and don't feel guilty about that..it's 100% better than feeing lonely and wanting to hide ...

There will always be someone here to say a few kind words and support you even at strange times at night I have found,,

I hope you are being kind to your self and if you are then I need you to teach me how to do it as I don't know ...

Keep posting and keep being you as you are more than enough and very much worth and deserving of happiness xxxx

Dear diary,

Hmmm...not too good, back in a dark place. Back to ' what's the point state'....i had my chance...and blew it..

At least i tried....

Morning Sandra

You are continuing to work at this and thats whats important. You know you can do this.

We are all in this together! I hope you have a better day-keep strong 🙂

Take care

Irene

x

Hi Sandra... yes that's it, moving on, day at a time. There is no other option really. It doesn't matter how bad things may get or how bad things may seem, life carries on regardless.

In the 12 years or so that ive been trying to stay stopped I av ad more slips than the entire elderly population of Scunthorpe have had walking in icy conditions in mid-february.

Your little fall will soon pass into obscurity. No gambling today, that's it, repeat. Take care... S.A

Hey Sandra

Just popped on for a wee quick update. Your post sounds more positive today 🙂

No gambling today and that's what's important!

take care

Irene

x

...

Hi Sandra, Your support means the world to me and I thank you so much. Just read now of your recent slip and I hope you are letting it go as you learned from it and it's not going to hold you back. And somehow, you've found a way to support others, despite how you're feeling. You're amazing, girl! Onwards and upwards!