Hi all, so this is my story. I have been gambling since I was thirteen ( I remember the first time losing my five pound pocket money in a bart Simpson fruit machine at centreparcs) Since the age of 15 I have gambled every week on different things (fruit machines, casino, online , bookies etc). I have always been compulsive and will often gamble all the money in my personal account. My wife knows of my problems . We have a joint account and I take money weekly into mine. I am lucky that we both have good jobs and I own my own home , we have savings etc and no real debts (mortgage and car loan excluded) and two boys . Over the past year my gambling has gotten worse , if I was to guess then i have probably spent 10k gambling in the last year. Most of this either online blackjack or fixed odds terminals. Yesterday I lost £800 on blackjack . I can be really destructive with my gambling . I literally do it to lose it feels like, I’m not sure why. Alchohol always make it more likely I’ll gamble. I’m now worried that my stakes are rising and I don’t want things to escalate. I am very lucky to have what I have , I know this and I do not expect sympathy here, but I don’t want to lose what I have and I’m scaring myself that my bets seem to be going up and up.. online gambling and fixed odds betting is so addictive . I have closed all betting accounts and cut up my bank card. Some forms of gambling I enjoy (odd trip to casino or horse racing) so I don’t really want to give them up, but I accept I may have to , to get to grips with my issue which is really online and fixed odds terminals. I’m setting myself a target of seven days no gambling and then I am going to move forward from there. I have read a lot of other people’s posts and can relate to a lot of the points. I have a very stressful job and often feel down. I want to get control and stop with the compulsive gambling before I throw away what I have . Well here we go...
So day 2 and all ok.. regret from yesterday still there. It’s when it fades that I worry. Thank you for your comments blue screen , I don’t find them patronising , indeed I accept your right. Yesterday reading other people’s forums , I cried for the first time in years , due to the realisation that so many things that people talk about reminded me of myself. Decided I need to start exercising more and finding positive things to replace the gambling . I truest don’t want to look back in ten years and be like I am today . The 7 day plan is my start, I see it as achievable and I can then push forward from there .
So been ok for last few days . Not really considered gambling albeit the lack of money in my account helps . Having a few beers Friday with some old friends , so putting barriers in place so I have no acces when I’ve had a few. Let’s bring on the weekend
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