Get this poison out of my system

Call me crazy, but I was listening to Frank Sinatra's rendition of Cole Porter's "I've got you under my skin" the other day, and it occurred to me that most of the lyrics (which are referring to love), could also refer to the addiction of gambling. I'll let you judge for yourselves:

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I've got you under my skin

I've got you deep in the heart of me

So deep in my heart, that you're really a part of me

I've got you under my skin

I've tried so not to give in

I've said to myself this affair never will go so well

But why should I try to resist, when I know so well

That I've got you under my skin

I'd sacrifice anything come what might

For the sake of having you near

In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night

And repeats, repeats in my ear

Don't you know you fool, you never can win

Use your mentality, wake up to reality

But each time I do, just the thought of you

Makes me stop before I begin

'Cause I've got you under my skin

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I hope we can all lead lives where none of the above could possibly refer to our gambling and we don't let it become so deeply embedded in our lives that it is an irremovable part of our make-up.

Sorry for going all philosophical, but it seems that making big mistakes in life can turn anyone into a philosopher. I originally called this thread "Get this poison out of my system", and that ties in nicely with this post. Hopefully I can achieve that.

All the best,

SGL

PS- I really won't mind if you call me crazy 😉

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Gamble-free since Wednesday 5 August 2009, 10:30pm

I have been very busy since my last post, but busy is good for me, I think. I finish my summer job this week and then I'm back to university. I've applied for a job at uni, now that I realise how important it is to get a job, rather than sit at home and gamble. If I don't get the job, I will keep applying for other jobs around uni, because I really want to fit one around my studies this year.

I only seem to be getting urges after arguments with family, but then I have the urge to do plenty of stupid things besides. However, this is also the time when I'm most self-aware that I might do something I'll regret.

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Gamble-free since Wednesday 5 August 2009, 10:30pm

Hi SGL

Sounds similar to me. I do not know how to handle emotions so I ran to the safest place I knew, where emotions were not called into question. Try to face your emotions and think things through. Good idea to get a job and start fitting in with the rest of the world. I'm sure you'll get work if you want it.

Take care

Steve E

Thanks Steve; I didn't get the job, but I will keep looking. Still gamble-free. Urges have pretty much disappeared the last couple of weeks, but I don't want to get complacent, because I've gone back from a long period off gambling once before.

I'm still gamble-free. I'm also becoming a much more responsible person, and I think the lessons I have learned from gambling are part of that.

Over 3 months gamble-free now. I still hate myself from time to time for losing all that money though. I feel like it'll all be alright if no-one I know finds out, but then I worry someone will find out.

Wishing everyone the very best in their recovery,

SGL

Hi Sgl.. thanks for your post.. and great stuff on the gambling free time.. forgive yourself for the past... stay focussed on recovery.

By the way i was exactly the same with coursework when i was at Uni.. procrastinate and then panic through the night. I don't think I was ever really motivated to do the degree I did anyway. I just did one cos it was expected.

The obsessive playing of games ive managed to avoid but I am a bit obsessive about offers at tesco's. Ive just bought 4 boxes of finest tesco porridge which then qualified me for 100 extra club card points!! Yee Haa.. sad i know Lol But thinking about it, when i was gambling I really didn't give a d**n about offers at supermarkets.. "every little doesnt help" (to quote the Tesco phrase) when one is gambling.

All the best in recovery... keep checking in.. S.A

Thanks for your continued interest S.A; I think you're the only one 😉 In fact, you probably check this thread more often than I do 🙂

Anyway... still gamble free, and if I'm honest, it hasn't been a struggle ever since about 2 weeks in. Had my first real urges for months the other day when I was really stressed. Keeps me on my toes, but I never even got close to doing anything stupid. Just reminded me to keep my emotions in check and my head clear, because otherwise silly things like gambling happen.

Life is a bit dull at the mo. Just grinding away at uni work, not much else going on. But I can't really complain. Guess I need to get me a girl. Just checked your thread and sounds like we're in the same quandary, S.A! Maybe we should sign ourselves up to a dating site as well :P

Anyway, I've got to work hard this year because I'm aiming for one of 2 scholarships for Masters and PhD and if I don't get the cash then I probably won't be doing the PhD seeing as I threw most of my money away gambling and haven't had a job since I got back to uni.

Let's all have a big smile 🙂

SGL

Hi Sirg,

Sounds like your doing well. Like you say.. managing emotions thats the bottom line to not gambling. Not easy sometimes but then whoever said recovery was easy.

As for dating sites I may well sign up for one today... "slightly depressed, sometimes miserable man.. looking for....??" Now there's a question.. what am i looking for??.. to be left unanswered for now.

Keep going with the Uni work.. its a great investment to a happier and stable future. I think that getting back to some sort of education would be good for me to.

Anyway your now offically in my mental database of occasional posters that need a reply.

Like you suggest.. smile and the world smiles back. Today I choose to smile.. regards.. S.A 🙂

Well into my 5th month of freedom from gambling now. I've got important things to concentrate on, like my uni work. Can't recall having any urges since last time I posted. All the best to everyone else in their lives,

SGL

Hello Sirg,

Well done on your gambling free time.. keep up that momentum. Regards.. S.A 🙂

Been over a month since I last posted, and I'm glad to report that I'm still gamble-free. My gambling was so irrational and uncharacteristic for me (a rather rational, money-saving person); I like to think that I've got that crazy phase out of my life and reverted to type (boring, but safe).

I think I was initially attracted by the skill and thrill of playing poker, which led to other forms of gambling. Now I often think of gambling as a nuisance more than a threat, like stepping in chewing gum. But there are times when the old curiosity and excitement kick in, and then it becomes more of a threat. Anyway, just wanted to pop in and keep the diary up-to-date. I'm currently pretty busy sorting out my future education (postgraduate studies at my current university) and gambling isn't on the agenda.

Wishing you all a happy Wednesday,

SGL

Hello people,

It's been an awfully long time since I posted. The bad news is that I had a (relatively minor) relapse at some point in Spring 2010 and started playing poker again. The good news is that I haven't gambled a penny since August 2010. I've just finished my Master's at uni and I'm a little worried I might go back to gambling when I get a job, or in the period while I'm looking for a job. The reason I'm worried is because the thought occurred to me to look on the poker client. This thought hadn't occurred to me for many months now.

I did indeed log in to the poker client, and although I don't have any money on it at the moment, I have a lot of rewards points that could be used to buy in to the satellites for the huge cash tournaments that are going on at the moment. I'm very tempted to play in these satellites (at no further cost to me), but I'm also worried that it'll get me back into the habit.

These rewards points are the only remaining result of thousands of pounds of expenditure, and I feel like I should use them as it isn't going to cost me anything and it gives me a chance (albeit slim) of making hundreds of thousands of dollars for no extra deposit. The only question is whether I'll be able to control myself once all of these rewards points are spent.

Take care,

SGL

Hi

Only you know the answer to your dilemma. Ask yourself why would you truly want to play if you have been so desperate to give it up. These so called free points are there for a reason. I do hope you get through this unscathed

Take care

Hi .. and thanks for your support 🙂

Like smiler says, free points are there for a reason. Your a bright man... use that intellect to recognise the fact that its an emotional problem we have and if your gambling was become a problem in the past.. it WILL become a problem in the future if you start up again. I once went for nearly 3 years without gambling a penny and then when i gambled again it was exactly the same as it was before. Regards.. S.A