I am new and want to give up

Hi ergos,

A warm welcome to the site, and the start of your recovery, Although my addiction was the slot's, i know just where you are coming from with the kid's, the day i gave up i was in tears thinking about my Lil one, so don't think your alone.

The best advice i can give is put barriers in the way to stop you gambling self-exclusion, blocking software if you gamble online. with these things in place it reduces the chances of you gambling again. This site is also great for getting advice, meeting people with similar problems and getting your thoughts down.

Everyone's recovery is a personal journey, you need to be strong, which can be tough at times, but it can be done with the right help and support the days gamble free will become weeks etc.

all the best in recovery.

green x

Hi Ergos

I can relate 100% to what you say. Time and time again I said I would pack in. Itwasn't until I satarted posting, regularly, on this site that I got serious about giving up. Don't gamble just for today. Don't think about tomorrow it isn't here yet. Above all do it for yourself.

Take care

Steve E

Hello everyone

Green and Stevey, thanks guys, your replies gave me real lift to be determined not to gamble and I have felt that I am not alone on this journey.

Because until start posting, don't really realise what's going on.

Green, about putting barriers, last night I agreed with my wife that until I get stable with money (only God knows that time) all my wages will go straight into her account. About self-exclusion from the bookies, I live in central London so there are about 12 of them in my local. They are everywhere! I need to find out how I can do it. I just don't want to go in to a bookie to ask because I know, gonna end up putting a bet.

Just like you said Stevey I'll try and post as regularly as you. Whenever I get a gambling thought, I will post it here so it is a reminder that I must not gamble.

Today is Day 1 and I will not gamble!!!

Take care guys, stay strong.

Ergos .

hi ergos,

like you say giving the wife the money is a positive step to admitting your problem, and these things need to be done when you are in the early days, i still have my dad keep an eye on my bank account 8 months down the road, that way it gives me trust back and shows i can finally be honest, sad i know at 35, but that's the way it's got to be for now.

Can't imagine what it's like to have so much temptation around you all the time, for me it was easy to self-exclude all the local arcades were owned by the same people, but the truth is if i wanted to gamble i could we all could, all i can advise is go in with a friend or the wife to exclude, don't be ashamed it's one of the best things i ever did, just exclude from the ones you use the most at the start, and be proud you are making positive steps to quit, f*** what the people in the bookies think, we all know they only wan't your money.

day 1 is a great place to be you have the rest of your life ahead now, and soon the days will be weeks etc.

keep going, keep strong.

green x

hi green,

I am also 36 and as you say these things have to be done. You say 8 months down the road, well done mate, this is an achievement and keep up the patience and the good work. As you say it is easy to find a way around to gamble if we want to.

Today, at some stage I had some gambling thoughts as it is first day and this is the time I usually go to the bookies but instead I am going to local swimming pool for a little relaxation.

Totally agree on what you say about bookies and will try and self-exclude myself asap.

Day 1 still free of gambling.

Take care and stay strong.

Ergos .

hi ergos

I also have two children.

Ill tell you a story that happened around 18months ago when my daughter was 3year old. It was a saturday morning and i took her down town. we went to the cafe for breakfast. A bookies was next door. we took our seats in the cafe, and within 2 minutes of sitting, i told her i was just nipping to the shop next door(bookies). i ran in and picked up a footy coupon, to fill in while we had breakfast. so i did that and run back in, she was sat there waiting, and smiled when i came back. So yes that in itself was bad enough, what with all the weirdos and that around these days, so we had breakfast, i filled in my coupon.

Paid and then.........i needed to run in bookies to return coupon. knowing that kids are not allowed, i left her standing outside while i went in. BUT before i went to pay, i stuck a £20 in the roulette machine. Lost, and put in another. I was chasing losses, whilst my 3 year old daughter stood at the door. I was like a mad man, frantically playing the machine. Enough was enough, i got off the machine several minutes later, and went to the desk to pay my football coupon. There was que, then my daughter started crying outside. It was quite possibly the worst situation i have ever found myself in. Got to the counter and the women were chatting, I could see the disgust in the womans eyes(rightly so). The other offered to go stand outside with her. I paid, i didnt say anythig, and rushed off to comfort my daughter, who the whole time was stood at the door watching me. I will never ever forgive myself for that, and will never ever forget that day. Quite ashamed to even share that, but just an example of what complete s**m gambling can turn us into. I wish you all the best in recovery mate, stick with it, if not for your sake, your wife and childrens.

neil

Hi ergos,

well done for day one, swimming is good and like you say a way to relax, just to let you know i was climbing the walls when i first quit, what am i going to do with myself, i don't have any other hobbies, Truth was all i wanted to do was gamble, It will take time as I'm sure you will understand, but just stick with it.

Happy Niels story touched a nerve with me, the day i quit i was gambling on the slots, and broke down in tears just thinking about her. I had hit rock bottom, she was visiting the next day and i didn't even have 20p to buy her a cup drink in town. I know you are probably not at this point and hope you never have been or will be, but just like Neil says, it shows me how low i had become.

On a happier note like i say my dad keeps an eye on my cash, my daughter gets everything she wants now, we go swimming twice a week, we paint have fun and she has got her dad back. When times in your recovery seem tough, take a look around at the new members, the pain, the destruction and think of your family, before you know it you will be well on your way.

all the best, have a great gamble free weekend.

green x

Hello everyone

Neil, Green you two made me feel quite emotional tonight. What you've told has quite touched me. But listen, 1 thing I am 100 percent sure is what happened in those days with your children has got nothing to do with how much you love your children. We all love our children dearly and we want to protect them. But this bloody addiction takes over and controls us, it directs us, turns us into people we don't normally want to be. So please Neil don't say that you will never forgive yourself, you need to forgive yourself so everytime you look at your daughter this negative thoughts don't go around your mind so that you can just concentrate on having a good time with your daughter and get her what she needs. I also feel quite privileged that you shared your stories with me. I can understand as I am a father. I am also so happy for you green, because you doing all that activities with your daughter and she got her dad back.

Finally guys let's leave the past behind us, we have opened up a clean sheet and need to stick with it as you two said. It's great that I haven't gambled today (14 Aug 2009).

Take care yourselves guys, I'll keep posting.

All the best,

Ergos .

Hi everyone

I get some b****dy urges now as i am alone but I will resist to them. I am not going outside.

Today is Day 2 and just today I will NOT gamble.

Take care everyone.

hi mate

Urges will come, just now is the first real test, beat it mate. will make you feel a whole lot better, sitting tonight watching match of the day or whatever knowing you havent gambled today!

Trust me, if you go and gamble today, wether it be £1 or £1000 you will feel like s**t, beacuse i can see you are a decent fella and want this out of you life.

have a good day, and remember urges cant hurt you if you dont act upon them.

neil

hi neil

You can't be more right. So I stick to what I said and, today I will not gamble.

You have a good day too my friend.

Day 2, NO gambling

Ergos .

Today is DAY 3 and Today I will NOT gamble.

Hi ergos

The days are building up, you will be at a week, a month, before you know it, well done on the three days, keep posting whenever you get the urge it will help.

stay strong mate.

green x

Good stuff mate.

Glad you made it through the weekend without gambling, which for me were usually the time i did most damage. work my a** off all week, gamble my a** off at the weekend. what a waste! but hey them days are gone, all in the past!!! keep strong mate.

neil