Going to keep this thread now!

I had a feeling someone would enjoy my rantings. When we're angry, we're ridiculous! haha!

Lol hun!

I tried to search "ranting" vids but came accross the "differences" between men & women...still having a chuckle so thought I will share!

Keep ranting away...better out than in!

S&B xx

https://youtu.be/-QkmoZguV4c

Aww Freda

I read threads a lot, nerver comment but I am willing you on all the time !

I want you to find somebody worthy sooo much.

What I dont understand is how this one hid is true self, you knew him prior to dating him and so did a lot of other people you know as I understand it and you said none of them had a bad word to say about him so he must be an amazing actor !

Dump him for sure - he sounds horrendous !

I would focus on you - spend time with loving friends, enjpy new hobbies but maybe leave relationships for a while

You are such a lovely lady - everyone loves you on here for starters - but the men you find are just yucky !!! Leave be for now

xx

Thanks Borgie <3

I can't believe anyone reads this!

We just took him at face value and felt sorry for him. He is quite paranoid and sees the worst in everyone. His reality must be horrible. He shouldn't be in a relationship but, as you rightly say, nor should I. I just long to be held and loved.

Thanks so much for posting. It means a lot.

You probs forgot to put filtering settings on 😉

Of course everyone is reading lol..whoever replies or not is another matter!..and now made me think about my own disastrous rambles...God, why i share so much on open forum...gulp...realisation sinking in lol

Thanks for your post. I'm not too enthusiastic of going back, But needs must! I have many things to worry/ stress about and the, going bk falls probably in the 3rd place!

d**n..im coming down from whatever I was on earlier lol (cloud nine) & seem to drag urges back with me! Can't win can ya...sun or rain, addiction stays persistent in our heads.....BOOOOOO ya f****g addiction!

& here my rant on your thread over lovely lady!

Look after yourself and stay safe just for today

X

The anger passes and all that's left is pain. All attachment is pure pain.

Thanks, S and everyone.

Much better today 🙂

I don't half work through things fast!

I'm having a chuckle to myself, thinking "it was like going out with Eeyore!" haha. I'm supposed to be the one with depression!

When a big chunk of pain, like a massive poo, comes out of me I feel more full of love than ever. It's funny like that, isn't it?

Pleased today has been a better day for you.

Your post made me laugh, what a personality you have that's priceless.

I can't comment on the poo bit haha

Wilsy

Aww, thanks, Wilsy!

Better out than in!

Feeling a bit lonely. I know it's just attachment but I'm finding it hard having no contact with him. I know this might sound a bit selfish and stupid but it would help to have some sign that he is bothered we have split up.

He really hides vulnerability but it can feel insulting, if that makes sense. Arrrggh!

Just missing the contact, the being touched - even though he was quite lazy with affection, the positive attention. It's hard seeing no-one at all some days.

It's just adjusting, really.

Contacted him late last night telling him I missed him 🙁

Initially, he said he missed me and it seemed to have been helpful to have made contact. I got the reassurance that he genuinely was gutted it had not worked out. Then, somehow, it took a turn and we ended up arguing on messenger for 5 hours!!!! It was exhausting and I've been ill with nervous exhaustion today. I only got 4 hours sleep.

I have never experienced a true love/hate dynamic with anyone, but this is very close. I love him but am scared of him at the same time. I've learned deep lessons from this relationship. Life-changing lessons.

He has just sided with my abuser. I'd previously shared with him that my mother was emotionally abusive when I was growing up. He chooses to take an example of one of her accusations that I was manipulative and agree with her. Words fail me. He is a dangerous person. I've copied and pasted a few comments from him, below. He is saying that he'd like to try again but he has a few concerns about my behaviour that he'd like to raise first. His raw nerve is disturbing!

You mentioned, I think that evening, that your mother had accused you of being manipulative, and that is honestly how I felt. That I was being manipulated.

I'm talking about how I experienced situations we'd been in together, where how you were behaving and what you were saying had a profound emotional affect on me that made me very uncomfortable.

So, are these the words of someone who wants to give a relationship another try, or someone implying that I am an abuser? Why on earth would you want to give it another go with someone you suspect is manipulating you?

I'm utterly disgusted.

Freda.
My dear friend I relate to your thread a great deal.
Do we,have we sought comfort in seeking the same from life that we have become accustomed to??
Is that why we find a strange comfort in the act of compulsive gambling?
Self damage seemed easier and a greater reward than abuse from a third party.
Weirdly at least I was in control of the self harm.
I am not giving advise, but you deserve better, a lot better.
If that's how the fella is going to behave then you know what you have to do.
But I know like feeding addiction it's a great sight easier said than done.
Look after yourself, in doing so you can make better judgements.
I hope you find sleep, nervous exhaustion is another terrible form of self harm.
Please put yourself first.
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanks, Duncs 🙂

I want nothing to do with him. He has crossed a line that no-one should. Believe me, I see it now. I REALLY see him for what he is.

I will forgive him when the anger and disgust has passed but he doesn't deserve any of my company or time.

I felt such rage this afternoon. He triggered my childhood stuff and my whole body was tense with rage.

I focused on deep breathing and let myself feel the emotion but my body still kept jerking and my fists kept clenching. It was so intense. I'm scared to go right into it. It feels like it would kill me. Like I'd end up having a stroke or heart attack.

I'm getting braver at letting myself feel more and more of it and am hoping it will eventually abate.

The positives are, I'm good at recognising when I need to get out of relationships. I do give people more than one chance, which, although it sometimes means I'm exposed to more bad behaviour than I would be if I had a "one-strike-and-you're-out" attitude, I think it's a good thing because no-one is perfect and people are allowed to make occasional mistakes.

I'm a one-strike-woman when it comes to violence or infidelity. I've learned to recognise intense attention and affection as abnormal, particularly within the first 2 months or so.

In short, I'm abusive-relationship-proof. This is a good thing. A very good thing.

I've met some real tools over the past couple of years.