Going to keep this thread now!

I've felt so happy tonight. Not having to deal with that selfish, miserable old co ck nose meant I could chat online with some pretty awesome people and have a mint dance in my living room, music blasting.

I've sort of had a revelation that he drags other people down to his level of negativity with criticism. If you get sucked in, you either get pished off or end up walking on eggshells - or worse of all, believing that sheet.

Nah, I'm just gonna get on with my life, I reckon. Just gotta leave people to it, sometimes.

Hey f

How are you doing Hun? Hope peace are right by your side and you're looking ahead with positivity and hope!

Hugs and best wishes!

S x

Saw ex on Sunday and he looked terrible. Gathering of friends. I was nice and offered him a cake, he wouldn't/couldn't even look at me. I left because I felt very uncomfortable. He was just looking down, face getting red, not saying anything to anyone.

He makes me really uncomfortable. I couldn't tell if he was angry or upset. I got very anxious.

There have been no apologies for me or attempts to make amends. This is what has been making me feel upset and angry. Just the lack of any respect for me, yet he claimed he was falling in love with me. I think he was projecting massively and he is the manipulative one.

It's the weirdest feeling because I'm concerned about him but he was so disrespectful to me, I have to walk away.

I've been happier since we split up, just struggling with the feelings of loss and hurt that he couldn't show a bit more respect for me.

I'm hurting so much today.

I contacted him to ask for my drill back because I'm moving soon. He asked if we could be friends again. I said I just needed some boundaries. He got nasty and ranty. He has been including inaccuracies in his rants, changing facts to make me sound worse. It forces me to get drawn into a discussion or argument in order to defend myself. I got really firm and said it was in black and white, further up the thread, that I did apologise for such and such and that you believed me that it was a sincere apology. I literally have you saying this, in writing. I need you to stop doing this. I won't be around it. I think insisting on boundaries being respected infuriated him. He sent another rant, having the audacity to say that "all this arguing was draining" for him. I just gave up and said "I'm sorry you feel that way". This is a way of refusing to engage with an emotional abuser that will enrage them, if they're trying to control you. He said "don't patronise me. please don't contact me again".

I know none of this is my fault. It is just upsetting to be exposed to this nasty behaviour. He really is a f*****g ****head.

Good riddance. He's poisonous.

I'm hurt but I'm also really angry.

I don't deserve to be treated the way he treated me.

I just want to quote what he responded to my request for a few basic boundaries "There seem to be no words I'm allowed to use to tell you I'm not OK with something. I can't use the word "nasty" I can't mention your mother or the word "unnecessary".

I asked him never to mention my mother when criticising me. My mother abused me as a child. He has never met her. There's nothing wrong with that boundary.

Who wants their behaviour described as "nasty"?!?!! or "unnecessary" which is belittling and condescending.

Those were my boundaries and when I insisted on them, he basically told me to f*** off.

What a horrible excuse for a human.

I'm sick of attracting abusers!

I just want to be loved by someone who doesn't abuse me.

Hi Freda,

Sorry to hear about your experiences with your ex, it sounds like the past few days have been challenging emotionally. I appreciate that sometimes it feels good to rant and offload.

Please feel free to call our Helpline or Netline for support, sometimes it is helpful to talk these things through with someone. We are here to support you, you are not alone.

All the best,

Eva

Forum Admin

I'm really annoyed Gamcare have deleted loads of my posts.

Raaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is my spirit expressing itself! Sorry if it's uncomfortable or inconvenient! Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope you're feeling better today. It's good to express our feelings/ emotions...never feel guilty for doing so!

Not sure if you got my email I sent last night as I was rushing to "Heathrow" car park in snow and hardly seen the screen! (Let alone feel my fingers while typing!)

Please know I'm here for you....stay safe & kind to you hun

Xx

Ah, haven't checked my emails but I'm OK. I just wanted to call him funny names but Gamcare deleted them.

I've actually had a really lovely day today. Went out for lunch, got a lovely dress and bag from the charity shop - only £2.79 each! Lots of cuddles from the cat and got some laundry done.

Gonna put clean sheets on the bed then have a soak in the bath.

I'm just in pain today. Lonely, wanting to be held, to be loved. Need to get showered soon. Work later.