Goodbye to destructive habits

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(@annie2016)
Posts: 271
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So today was my last ever gamble. £5 left in my bank account til payday at the end of Jan. Once I knew I had no more to deposit I felt a sense of relief that it's over. I plan to switch bank accounts in the new year so I don't have to see all the deposits made and can start afresh. I know there will be many resolutions made tonight, I am just making one. Stay gamble free. I can do this. I was gamble free for 5 months. Relapsed for 2 months and now focussed and ready.

 
Posted : 31st December 2017 10:28 pm
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(@aum)
Posts: 3947
 

My thoughts are with you Annie.

It is good timing to join the 2018 Challenge if you fancy it. The thought of a full calender year gamble free has captured my imagination.

We can overcome our urges to gamble and start to live again. Please take care and look after yourself. You didn't ask to be a gambling addict so don't beat yourself up. Look at practical ways you can get your life back and treat yourself with compassion and understanding....stephen x

 
Posted : 31st December 2017 11:48 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi Annie

Happy new year to you. You can absolutely do this, just repeat to yourself how much better your life will be without gambling.

Your idea of switching accounts is a good one. I have recently done this, and it is like a switch in my head. I am now 34 GF and my life has changed for the good in so many ways.

I have plenty left from my months wages, which was nearly two weeks ago. I no longer wake up with that awful anxious feeling and can see a way through to clearing my debt now. The calmness is indescribable.

You will do it, don't give up!

 
Posted : 1st January 2018 8:44 am
(@annie2016)
Posts: 271
Topic starter
 

Thank you Stephen and Saffie both so much. I definitely want to join the 2018 challenge and I can definitely relate to the feeling of calmness that comes with being gamble free. I long to regain that. Today I have met my urges with determination. Thank you both for your kind words and I wish you strength on your journeys. Day 1 done! X

 
Posted : 1st January 2018 10:18 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi Annie

How are you getting on?

 
Posted : 3rd January 2018 3:40 pm
(@annie2016)
Posts: 271
Topic starter
 

Hi Saffie. Thanks for asking. I really appreciate it. I think the pressure of starting 1 Jan was bit too much as had focused on it for a few weeks so got hold of a couple of hundred pounds which I will have to owe back and gambled again until last night at 1am when I closed accounts and knew I was fully committed. I have just looked at bank deposits online and it's frightening. I'm going to change bank accounts and have a new start that doesn't include gambling deposits. I am ashamed and feel terribly guilty about all the deposits I've made. So I am determined to live a life free of gambling and secrecy. Nearly at the end of my day 1. How are things going with you?

 
Posted : 5th January 2018 6:42 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Good thanks. Don't be too harsh on yourself about the relapse, these things happen but the good thing is you have recognised is a problem and put in place things to stop you doing it again.

I know what you mean about seeing the transactions on your statement, I wouldn't ever log onto mine as I was so ashamed of day after day of transactions. Just over a month ago I changed accounts and am pleased to say there is not one transaction on there. It makes me feel almost like a normal person!

You can do this, just keep focussed on all the things you will gain by not gambling

 
Posted : 5th January 2018 7:37 pm
(@annie2016)
Posts: 271
Topic starter
 

Thanks Saffie. I'm also going to change accounts and see it as a new start. I feel co dude that today that I can do it. Really pleased things are going well with you. X

 
Posted : 5th January 2018 10:58 pm
(@annie2016)
Posts: 271
Topic starter
 

Thanks Saffie. I'm also going to change accounts and see it as a new start. I feel confident that today that I can do it. Really pleased things are going well with you. X

 
Posted : 5th January 2018 10:58 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Well done a whole day gamble free! Seriously the first day is the hardest every time. I understand your guilt from relapsing but you got right back on it. I have been away a long time and my day 1 will be tomorrow. Relapsed more times than I want to remember. Be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time xxx

 
Posted : 5th January 2018 11:10 pm
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(@aum)
Posts: 3947
 

Well here we are Annie, back where we belong.

Wishing you every success on your journey. If we can just focus on one day at a time, and let go of the past, than we can have some kind of future.

Take care Annie and keep going forward....stephen x

 
Posted : 5th January 2018 11:49 pm
(@annie2016)
Posts: 271
Topic starter
 

Thank you so much wants2stop and Stephen for your kind words. Yes here is the right place to be. Day 2 and am feeling ok. Regretful but looking forward. X

 
Posted : 6th January 2018 8:57 pm

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